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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Christmas is a Time for Giving of Yourself

It seems every year, as Christmas approaches, I find myself being asked the same, old tired question... "So, what do you want for Christmas?" The truth is nothing. Well, at least nothing material. Oh, sure, I can always use a golf glove or a subscription to National Geographic. But, what I really want is more precious than anything material.

I'd simply like to enjoy a wonderful conversation with those I love. I'm sure I speak for many parents who never get enough holiday time with their kids. Or, for that matter, close friends and relatives. One of the greatest joys in life is to simply spend meaningful time with those you love.

So, this Christmas and Hanukkah,  give the gift of yourself and spend time with those people you love. It's the most precious gift of all.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

A Goal Setting Plan For Success in 2015

December is a good time of year to start thinking about your goals for next year.  I know it's difficult amid the chaos of the holiday season, but I like to steal away a few minutes each day during December to think about my goals for the new year. The fact is it gives me a huge advantage over my competition and allows me to "hit the ground running" on January 1st.

People who set goals typically outperform their competition. This is a fact. Did you know that only 37% of American adults say they set new goals at the beginning of each year. This means if you are a Goal Setter, you're in the top third of Americans who have a chance at success in the new year. After all, most people who don't set goals have no clear direction as to where they're going or how to get there. So, it stands to reason that Goal Setters are miles ahead of their competition.

Another key part of success is to share your goals with someone you trust -- someone who will encourage you onward to success. It's reported that 30% of American adults don't share their goals with anyone. I have found that when I talk about my goals with others, it reinforces my belief and determination. So, share your goals with people who will reinforce them.

I'm encouraged by the fact that 14% of Americans say they are making personal or spiritual changes in their life, while 13% are setting financial goals. This means more people are making the connection between personal growth and creating greater abundance in their lives.

Another important goal-setting area is Life Balance. Too often, after a speech, people will come up to me and say "I wish I had more time to spend with my kids, or travel, or sit on a beach and so forth..."
I always reply, "You have as much time as you need. The question is how do you choose to spend it?"
I've never known anyone who, on their death bed, wished they had spent more time on the job.

The truth is we make choices every day that lead us to greater fulfillment or greater frustration. So, this month, take some time to think about what really matters to you. What's important in your life? Then, set goals that move you in that direction.

I can guarantee that you will find greater happiness and fulfillment in life if you set worthy goals that bring you closer to your dreams.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How to Use the Power of Presence to Live a Meaningful Life

In a recent interview, one of America's most respected Life Coaches, Chess Edwards said, "Everyone has a life purpose. the challenge is to discover it and live it."

I think that's great advice. The question is how? One way, according to Chess Edwards, is to be present -- to focus on this moment and enjoy the experience of now

Edwards says, "There is great power and pleasure in being present in the moment. Consider this: You know those people, who as soon as you meet them, they instill an instant sense of trust? Why is that?

"The reason is that they trust themselves. They show-up fully present to the moment, and you know that their minds aren’t spinning a million miles a minute calculating how to “get what they want” or “sell you what they’ve got,” or worrying if you’re going to like them or not. They already like themselves and they aren’t seeking approval from others.

"It’s almost like you’re meeting a Zen master or wise teacher, except they’re dressed just like you and don’t seem to reek of incense and lotus blossoms. They are your mechanic, the grocery store clerk, your dry cleaner, your professor, your next door neighbor, and your friend.

"When you’re around these people, you can feel the peace that they are experiencing within themselves. People want to be near them. People want them on their team. People feel safe around them. This is because they feel safe within themselves.

"What is happening is that they have learned to be at peace with themselves and that deep peace has given them a rock solid foundation that allows them to fully engage without the distractions of fear, doubt and uncertainty; and, act with great clarity and confidence in everything that they do and truly connect with everyone they meet. It isn’t that they don’t sometimes experience fear, but they aren’t ruled by it.

"They have learned how to cultivate a state of presence that they carry with them everywhere. It is their home. They have found their home and are no longer seeking it from the world around them. The world around them simply reflects their internal abundance of strength, peace compassion.

"We all have the capacity to create such foundations of balance, strength and integrity which translate into more joyful and powerful living under all conditions and in all circumstances.
Cultivating this Power of Presence takes practice and discipline. It takes some serious rewiring of old thought patterns and the willingness to let go of old habits and beliefs. It takes learning how to be mindful while establishing a more honest and courageous relationship with ourselves, our true-selves."

The Power of Presence is the ability to bring the power of our stillness, stability and integrity from the privacy of our personal practices into every active moment of our lives. Mindfulness in Action is being able to stay steady, present and powerfully connected no matter what the condition of the world around us.

As a result of understanding and learning The Power of Presence, you will be able to:
  • Learn the art of being genuinely present in every moment where you access the peace, strength and joy that naturally resides within you.
  • Liberate yourself through conscious and empowered choices rather than being victim to unconscious and conditioned reactions.
  • Greatly reduce unnecessary drama and struggle in your life and the lives of those you impact.
  • Dissolve blocks that keep you from living the full and abundant life that you’re meant to live.  Strengthen the foundations of emotional maturity and well-being upon which joyful and powerful lives are built.
The Power of Presence can transform your life.  Hey, it's your time!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

5 Ways to Create More Happiness in Your Life!

Sometimes it’s tough being happy. It doesn’t take much to put us in a sour mood. When the world gets you down and you’re having a bad day at work, or your home scene gets frustrating, here are five ways to create more happiness in your life. According to America’s Happiness Expert, Barbara Yager, Step One is to change your Environment. If you’re in a pressure-cooker environment at home or work, step outside for a quick walk around the block. Clear your head and create a neutral or positive environment.

Step Two is to reflect on your strengths. Yager says this is your personal power pack. Your strengths are your skills and abilities that no one else possesses — only you! So, think about them and remember, that you have special powers that can change your mood and your life for the better. Turn on your power pack!

Step Three is get to work doing the things you love to do. What do you have a passion for. If it’s not your day job, then find something you can get passionate about. I met a person yesterday who is passionate about volunteering at the Boys & Girls Club two nights a week. She loves being with the kids and guiding them through their challenges. Another fellow I met named Christopher loves to clear the brush and trash off a nearby hiking trail on Saturday mornings. So, whatever your passion is, follow it.

Step Four is to create Autononomy. Happiness expert Barbara Yager reminds us that everyone lives by certain rules. Some rules make sense to us and others we follow just because those are the rules we have always followed. For example, when the light turns red, you stop your car. But, those rules that are found in our personal rule book, can be changed by you. For example, I met a 50 year-old man who told me he hated going to church on Sunday. I asked him why he went to church if he hated it so much. He replied, “Oh, I’ve been going since I was old enough to walk.” I suggested he find another way to achieve spiritual satisfaction — something he enjoyed doing. In other words, re-write your rule book! Yager says, “When we know what rules we need to live by in order to lead a successful life, life is easier to live and we’re happier.” She’s right, of course!

Step Five is to create Relationships. We all need someone to love and love us back. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a person. It could be your dog or cat. But, according to Barbara Yager, we need relationships because they are the foundation to feeling happy and content in life. Perhaps this explains why so many single people have pets! Yager also says work relationships are very important. We need someone at work we can talk to when times get tough. So, start making friends by expanding your social circles. Gary Plantz once said, “Make friends before you need them!” Now, that’s good advice.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

How to Create a Real Economic Recovery

Despite a record-setting stock market and stronger job growth, most Americans don't think the economy has improved in the past year, according to a recent survey released by Rutgers University researchers. In fact, a significant number of Americans continue to struggle to break-even from the Great Recession, which according to the experts, ended in 2012.

The Rutgers survey reveals a stressed-out work force that is likely to spend money only cautiously, keeping a lid on economic growth.

What do you think: Has the economy improved this year?
The Rutgers report is titled "Unhappy, Worried and Pessimistic: Americans in the Aftermath of the Great Recession." Among the findings:

• Two-thirds of Americans think the economy is the same or worse than it was a year ago, and 73%  don't expect it to improve in the next year.
• 33% think changes in their standard of living caused by the housing bubble's collapse and the recession that followed will be permanent.
• 78% has little or no confidence that the federal government can help.
• Only one in seven believe the average American is happy at work.

Consider the negative responses to this key question:
How do you describe Americans at work?

Happy: 14%
Well Paid: 18% 
Lazy: 23%
Productive: 43%
Highly Stressed: 68%
Not secure in their jobs: 70%
Source: John J. Heldrich Center for Workforce Development at Rutgers University

Is there a solution to improving workers' attitude? 
Yes, of course. In fact, it's so simple, it's embarrassing that our elected officials and corporate leaders haven't implemented it. But, that's what happens when greed and selfish interests dominate one's agenda.

Over the past seven years, I've seen a noticeable decrease in the amount of training managers receive on "relationship building."  It seems the emphasis on executive training is almost exclusively on productivity, cost reductions, and revenue generation. These are important areas, no doubt. But, my question is this: At what expense? I'm referring to pushing the envelope to the point where your employees become disenfranchised, demotivated and disengaged.  Management can only ask so much before the workforce starts asking for something in return -- like their fair share.

So, here are three steps to get America moving in the right direction and improving the attitudes and productivity of your employees, your greatest asset:

First, companies need to genuinely engage their employees in the process of work. Employees want to do a good job and be rewarded -- both financially and emotionally, for a job well done. So, management needs to institute an Employee Engagement initiative similar to those used at Genentech, Google, Edward Jones, Navy Federal Credit Union and Wegmans Food Markets. These companies treat their employees with respect and encourage them to offer ideas to improve every aspect of the business. It's not rocket science, but it does take a management style that focuses as much on people as it does on profits.

Secondly, employees need to have life balance. I never liked the term "work-life balance" because work is part of life. In fact, it's a major part of life. But, there's more to life than just your job. Every manager or CEO I've ever talked to on this topic, agrees that Life Balance is important for the health and growth of their organization. A tired, burned-out, over-stressed employee is of little value to your organization. Take better care of your people because they are your company's greatest asset.

Finally, it's time for companies to review their compensation plans and increase salaries and wages in line with what your employees should be earning for their work.  Management has both a moral obligation and a common sense responsibility to do so. Let me make the case.

If you are one of the companies that employs minimum wage earners, I would strongly encourage you to provide an immediate wage increase to $10.50 per hour for those 24% of Americans who rely solely on minimum wage jobs for their income. 

Now, before you breathe a deep sigh and start moaning, let me ask you a simple question: Could you live on the current federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, or $15,080 annually? I doubt it!  So, how do you expect your minimum wage employees who earn between  $7.25 - $8.50 (or $15,080 - $17,680 annually) to make ends meet?  The fact is they can't. So, what's the option. They get a second job. Is that the kind of person you want showing up to make your hamburgers or widgets? I don't think so.

I can tell you from 25 years of experience working with companies to build dynamic teams and high energy workplaces that when an employee is working two jobs, you do not get the best effort from that individual. What you get is someone who is tired, over-stressed and just showing-up for the paycheck. The moral of the story is simple. You get what you pay for. If you expect more from your people, give them more.

If America is the land of opportunity, let starting giving people an opportunity. And, by the way, at $10.50 per hour, your minimum wage employees are earning a whopping $21,840. Frankly, that's still chicken feed!  Why not do the right thing and be the leader you want everyone to think you are. Stop spouting that tired, outdated, anti-employee chamber of commerce rhetoric about how a minimum wage increase will hurt your profits and raise your costs. Are you that inept as a CEO or manager that you can't figure out how to pay your people what they're worth? If so, you should relinquish your position to someone who has imagination, drive and a heart.  Start treating your people like you want them to treat your customers! It's pretty simple.

I like to remind executives and managers of my favorite expression: "Facts are friendly. They're sometimes harsh, but always fair."  So, here are the facts. If you want to stimulate your company's sales and profit, start by doing the right thing and put a few more dollars in the pockets of those American workers who buy your goods and services. I can assure you the American pie is big enough to feed everyone. If you doubt that, you shouldn't be in business.

Friday, August 29, 2014

On Dying

This morning, a dear friend of mine named Malcolm passed away after a seven month struggle with cancer. When he was first diagnosed with an aggressive kidney cancer that had metastasize throughout his body and into his brain, the doctors were hopeful they could prolong Malcolm’s life for a year or so with chemo and radiation treatment. But, it wasn’t meant to be. In seven short months, his fight was over. Dying is often a cruel and bitter process when the person is larger than life and exudes so much positive energy and optimism as Malcolm did.

During these past seven months, as I watched Malcolm’s physical condition deteriorate, I gave a great deal of thought to death and dying. It’s not a subject people typically think about, but as we get older and those we love become sick and die, it puts us in touch with our own mortality. It also prompts us to think about our own state of wellness and what we can do to extend our life.

In some cases, we’re cursed by unhealthy family genetics. In other instances, our personal vices such as alcohol abuse, smoking or chewing tobacco and unhealthy eating habits destroy our bodies to the point where the dye (no pun intended) is already cast. We’ll kick the bucket sooner than later.

As I watched Malcolm struggle to live through the end of summer, which was his goal, I also gave considerable thought to the subject of Legacy. I asked myself this question, “How will I be remembered?” When I asked Malcolm this same question a few months ago, he retorted, “How do you want to be remembered? It’s within your control.” I thought that was a profound response coming from someone who knew he was dying, and yet, he was determined to maintain his dignity until the very end and leave a legacy he was proud of. That he did.

When a person is confronted with death and dying, sometimes he or she can rise above the pettiness of everyday life and serve as a shining example of what it means to be courageous and loving — knowing all the while that death is imminent. I admired Malcolm for his courage and the positive legacy he left behind. In his case, he will be well remembered for his kindness, honesty, candor and his ability to bring out the best in others. I can’t think of a more positive legacy for someone to leave behind.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

How to Create More Happiness in Your Life!

By Barbara Yager, America’s Happiness Expert

If you Google the word “Happiness” you get 329,000,000 results in 3.2 seconds. Happiness is one of the most written and talked about topics on the internet today. There’s no question that everyone wants to be happy.

However, wanting to be happy and being happy are two completely different things. It is the being happy part of the equation that perplexes most people.
Here’s my definition of Happiness. “It’s an internal feeling you have when all areas of your life are in balance.” It’s that simple. Happiness is a state of balance that brings feelings of contentment and peace.

Now, here’s the challenge. Can you raise your level of happiness? I believe you can.

When I left the practice of law after 25 years, I wanted to devote the rest of my working life to making people feel happier. I embarked on a two-year research project designed to educate myself on the topic of Happiness. I learned that being in a state of happiness provides a foundation that is necessary to living a “well lived life”. The ancient Greeks had a word for living a life in balance and on purpose…they called it Eudaimonia.

Why be happy? Here are three good reasons.
1. Health. When you have a happy heart, all of your body systems work better.
2. Attitude. When you feel happy it makes life easier to live because you always start from a point of positivity rather than negativity.
3. Accomplishment. Happiness invites good results into your life. I find when I am experiencing greater levels of happiness, life is just easier to live and I work less to get more.

So, here are three key questions you need to ask yourself regarding your state of happiness:
• How happy are you?
• Would you like to have a greater level of happiness in your life?
• What if I told you I could help you achieve that with “The Golden Happiness Formula?”

To be happy, you have to know how to care for and grow the happiness in your life. My formula helps you do just that. I can show you how the five elements in my formula will provide the focus and understanding needed to bring a greater degree of happiness into your life. Focusing on five key life elements — Strengths, Work, Environment, Autonomy and Relationships — you can determine which area(s) need some work. As you restore balance to your life, happiness grows. This is a proven formula that you can use for the rest of your life to stay on the happy side of life.

If you’d like to know more about how to apply The Golden Happiness Formula in your life, join me on Tuesday evening, September 9, at The Braille Institute of San Diego when I share a step-by-step process for growing your personal happiness. Visit: www.10000Days.org for more details. Or contact me at: www.barbarayager.com — or by email at: barbarayager@rocketmail.com

Stay happy!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

You Can Reset Your Mindset

I recently had one of our "over 50" Life Balance Retreat attendees tell me, "I wish I could reset my thoughts and be more positive about life and my job." I replied, "You can, and here's how The Course of 10,000 Days suggests you do it!"

I'm sure you've heard the expression, "You are what you eat." Well, here's a variation on that theme. "You are what you think!" Here's a simple three-step process from The Course of 10,000 Days to help you reset your mindset.

First, of all, ask yourself this question: "What are you thinking, and why?" When you find yourself focused on negative thoughts or self-criticism, change it immediately from self-directed negativism to questions. For example, if you screwed-up on a project at work, and you are beating yourself up over the mistake, reset your mindset by asking questions like, "Okay, this didn't go the way I wanted it to, so what could I do differently next time to create a successful outcome?" (use a mind-mapping system to plot out each step of your project).  Or, let's say you get home from the grocery store only to realize you forgot to buy the chicken. Ask yourself, "Okay, what can I do to make sure I don't forget to buy important items at the store? (make a list on your smart phone).  They key is to seek information and solutions rather than get mired in self-criticism. The fact is we all mess up or drop the ball from time to time. It's part of being human. Don't sweat the small stuff, okay!

Secondly, program your mind at the start of each day by doing the "BAG IT" exercise. Think of three Blessings, Accomplishments and Goals in your life. It can be anything -- big or small. The key is to acknowledge your gifts and talents as well as all the things you have going for you in life.


Finally, step three, is "Deflect and Redirect." For example, when someone directs criticism or a negative comment at you, pause for a moment and restate their comment in a neutral or positive way. For example, if your spouse or significant other criticizes you for driving too slowly, your response might be, "I drive slowly because it allows me to avoid accidents and reduces my reaction time in heavy traffic."  "What you've done is deflect the criticism away from you and neutralized the criticism by stating why you drive slowly.

So, reset your mindset by creating more positive thoughts and neutralizing criticism. It will also help you build your self-esteem.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Presence Process with Chess Edwards -- A Course Worth Attending on July 16th

One of the most dynamic and insightful people I know is Chess Edwards. Chess is a Life Coach, whose wisdom and counsel has guided hundreds of people to higher levels of success, abundance and fulfillment. I know. I'm one of those people who has benefitted from his work and counsel.

While I rarely endorse or promote workshops or courses, I do make exceptions for certain programs I know will deliver high value at a reasonable tuition. Here is one such upcoming event you need to know about...

On Wednesday evenings, starting on July 16, from 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm, Chess Edwards will facilitate a 12 week course known as The Presence Process. It was developed by Michael Brown. I highly recommend it to anyone who seeks greater fulfillment and answers to those deeply-rooted spiritually-based questions for which we all seek answers. The location and setting is the beautiful sanctuary at the California Center for Creative Renewal in Encinitas, CA. It's centrally located for those of you who live or work on the San Diego coast.

Here's the link to register: http://www.chessedwards.com/presence-process/  Or, you can call Chess Edwards at 760-294-2250 for more information.  His website is: http://www.chessedwards.com/ 

The Presence Process empowers you to find and use your authenticity and core inner strength to live life to the fullest, reach your full potential and become all you are meant to be.

It helps you to free yourself from the root causes of anxiety, depression, addictions, failed relationships and many other issues that inhibit your personal and professional growth and satisfaction.

The Presence Process helps you find and live from a liberated state of peace and ease. It teaches you how to love yourself, move beyond emotional dependency, attain emotional freedom and heal the underlying fear based issues that limit life opportunities.

Enrollment is limited, so act now if you want to experience this transformational program!


Friday, June 27, 2014

Expressions of Gratitude



“As we express our gratitude for all that we have in this life, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."  

Dr. Ajay Chivani, The Course of 10,000 Days