Cheers and Jeers: Restoring Civility in the Bleepin’ Bleachers

by Tom Hinton

I hate to be the one who blows the whistle and calls for a time out on the fans, but there’s a growing problem at high school and college athletic events that needs to be nipped in the bud quickly. It’s a problem that parents and school administrators are responsible for creating because they have not stepped-in to control their sons and daughters, or put an end to certain, unacceptable sporting event practices that clearly cross the line.

I’m talking about the heightened irreverence and disrespect that student-fans are showing for the opposing team at sporting events. This is a problem that has gone far beyond the traditional rivalry cheers, barbs, and exchanges at football and basketball games. It’s now become a common occurrence at most high school and college sporting events I attend -- even girls’ sports have become infected.

It’s reached the point where an unsuspecting spectator attending his first game might think that the vulgarity, taunts, crude signs, and even offensive t-shirts are accepted practice among certain inept athletic directors and school administrators who should know better.

I recognize that students should be able to have fun; and, that sporting events offer a great opportunity to let off some steam and razz the other team. In fact, I think it’s an important element of school spirit and camaraderie to have a group of students form cheer squads, paint their bodies, and sit together to root on their team and goad the opponent. That behavior has been around since the gladiators fought in Rome’s Coliseum.

But, civility is lost and good sportsmanship is trounced when raucous students and their parents engage in over-the-line behavior such as booing, name-calling, or using vulgar language to harass and taunt the opponent. These are unacceptable practices and every high school and college administrator, and sports commissioners should establish very clear game conduct guidelines, and enforce harsh penalties for any school that does not control its spectators.

The line has already moved in the wrong direction. For example, many universities and high schools think nothing of allowing fans to wave noodles and streamers, or shout “Miss! Miss! Miss!” while a basketball player attempts a free throw shot from the foul line. If that was your kid at the foul line, how would you feel? Sure, you want to do everything you can to psyche out the shooter before he attempts his/her shot. That’s why coaches call timeouts -- to freeze the field goal kicker, right? But, once the player takes aim and shoots the ball, civility and etiquette should be the rule.

Consider an ugly incident that was reported by San Diego Union Tribune reporter Steve Brand. At a recent high school girl’s basketball game between two upscale private schools, La Jolla Country Day (LJCD) and Bishops, a Bishop High School basketball player was booed loudly and taunted by her former La Jolla Country Day schoolmates whenever she handled the ball. While these two teams have a vigorous rivalry, there was a complete lack of decorum among San Diego’s so-called privileged citizenry that populated the La Jolla Country Day bleachers and allowed their sons and daughters to engage in this inexcusable and embarrassing behavior.

Of course, you would think the administrators of La Jolla Country Day would have adequately addressed the incident? Apparently not, because when the same two teams met again a few weeks later, La Jolla Country Day’s parents and students replaced their vulgar taunting with hurtful, negative signs that were directed towards the young lady from Bishop. Again, how could a group of so-called upscale parents sit there and allow that to happen? It was a disgraceful repeat incident that offended not only the event attendees, but the entire community; and, it showed the LJCD parents and school administrators for what they really are -- classless egalitarians.

Someone needs to ask the obvious question. What are parents and school administrators doing to control their fans? We’re not talking about trying to control crazy, drunken Oakland Raider fans here. We’re talking about high school and college sporting events where parents, coaches, school administrators, and sports commissioners -- not to mention the game referees -- should have some modicum of control over the event and its environment. As one CIF official told reporter Steve Brand, “The gym needs to be viewed as an extension of the classroom. If a student was making a presentation in the classroom, would it be all right to boo? No, that’s disrespectful. Would you allow negative signs? No, that’s disrespectful, too!” I completely agree and applaud this approach to maintaining civility and decorum at high school and college athletic events.

So, why isn’t there more civility at these games? I think the obvious answer is that parents and administrators have lost perspective; or, they simply have no commons sense as was demonstrated by the La Jolla Country Day parents and students. Harsh, you say? Well, then you tell me why adults sit there passively in the stands and allow student-fans (and even other parents) to cross the line. Somebody needs to accept responsibility and call these idiots out.

Here’s a solution. Sporting Event Standards (similar to the 1999 program, “Pursuing Victory with Honor,” that was adopted by the California Inter-scholastic Federation) need to be approved, publicized, and enforced among parents, fans, and the student body. Security personnel at these games should be authorized to confiscate offensive signs and shirts as well as forewarn fans to refrain from vulgar outbursts and chants. Once this type of enforcement starts to happen, people will get the message that civility and decorum are expected and fans will begin to express their support and/or disgust during the game in appropriate ways.

There will always be booing of the referees and negative chants when a certain call goes against the home team. But, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when bleacher behavior crosses the line. That’s when school administrators and sporting officials need to step in and control the fans in the bleachers.

It’s tougher to do in college sports, especially when cross-town rivals go at it. But, nevertheless, the same rules should apply here. My experience at college games has been that drunken fans are the root cause for most problems in the bleachers. I’m not sure eliminating beer sales is the answer because most of these fans, especially college students, are already drunk when they arrive in the bleachers and begin their offensive conduct and immature conduct. Short of removing them from the game, I don’t know what else can be done.

It’s not my intention to take the fun out watching the game by suppressing the spontaneity of sports fans. I love a good game and I certainly like to cheer on my favorite team. But, when you have to sit next to some-loud mouth jerk and listen to him repeatedly bellow out vulgarities or wave his offensive sign, well, now my rights to enjoy the game have been infringed upon. And, I don’t like it. Sometime, I’ll encourage him to sit down, but I don’t want to start a fight and I don’t want to get sued. So, it’s up to the school administrators, their security personnel, and other officials to calm him down or remove him from the bleachers.

It’s getting to the point where good fans like me are seriously considering staying home. Why bother? Who needs the hassle? And, that’s really too bad because when enough good fans capitulate and decide to stay home, well, now the idiots are running the asylum and ruining the game for the rest of us -- not to mention how it makes the players on both sides of the bench feel.

I just hope your son or daughter doesn’t come home some night after giving their best in a game feeling depressed and suicidal because of the unfair taunting and verbal insults directed their way from a few immature parents and students who should know better. That would be the ultimate tragedy, wouldn't it, sport fans? Let's remember, it's only a game!

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular author and professional speaker. His new book is entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. For more information visit www.tomhinton.com or email him at tom@tomhinton.com

Love Is In the Air

by Tom Hinton

As St. Valentine’s Day approaches, I thought I’d share with you an interesting practice that is being used by my high school -age daughter, Becca, and her one thousand most intimate friends. They conclude every telephone call with this heartfelt phrase, “Love you! Bye.”

Becca and her friends have been using this valediction since they were in sixth grade. I’m not sure who started it but it seems to have caught on. Now, it seems like all the teen-agers -- boys and girls alike -- are using this expression when ending telephone calls with their friends. I even hear them saying “Love ya! Bye.” when talking to their parents. How refreshing!

Mind you, I haven’t sat down with Becca and asked her, “Hey, where did this phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” come from and who started it?” I know better. You see, I’m certain she would just look at me with that deer-in-the-headlights teen-age gaze and reply, “That’s the gayest (most stupid) question you’ve ever asked me, Dad!” Then she’d shrug her shoulders, toss her hair, and walk away disgusted once again with her father. Oh well, there are some things parents must figure out for themselves.

So, for all you parents out there, here’s my analytical interpretation of what’s really being communicated when our wonderful, little darlings are on their cell phones. According to my phone bill, my daughter (and I’m sure this applies to your sons and daughters as well) makes about 422 calls every school night between 3pm and 10 pm. I don’t know how this is mathematically possible, but I believe the number is fairly accurate. Most of these calls are short because they never seem to last more than a few seconds. Some of the calls are intense because they deal with “boy” issues. I know because I can barely hear what’s being said even with her bedroom door closed.

But, regardless of how all these conversations flow, they always hang-up as friends. You see, friendships are re-affirmed or all is forgiven at the end of the call with the simple phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” This way, all the kids get a good night’s sleep (if you count five hours as a good night’s rest) and arrive at school the next morning tired, but still friends. I think that explains it all.

Well, maybe not. Perhaps, there’s a deeper, more serious explanation. Perhaps this younger generation desperately needs friendship and love in their lives. You see, their parents have been poor role models in these categories with our high divorce rates, our penchant for war, guns, and violence; and, basically screwing-up the environment and the world we live in. Now that I think about it, maybe our kids are trying to tell us something… love is all you need.

About the Author. Tom Hinton is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings. He is also the author of four books including 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion in Your Life. For information please email him at tom@tomhinton.com