How to Become the Person You Want to Be

by Tom Hinton

Last week, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about our favorite seasons. As we stood on her patio watching the last remaining leaves fall from the naked trees, I commented that my favorite season was autumn. She countered by saying her favorite season was spring. “In springtime,” she told me, “everything comes alive. The sun is warm, the flowers bloom with reckless delight, the grass smells freshly mowed, and all of nature is alive and vibrant.”

“That’s true,” I noted, “but there can be no springtime until the autumn seeds fall to the ground and nature gives way to winter’s brutal cold.” As Stanley Horowitz said so beautifully, “winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting, and autumn a mosaic of them all.”

Like the changing seasons, life is a reflection of nature’s twisted contradictions. At a recent workshop I conducted on The Course of 10,000 Days, I reminded participants that -- like the changing seasons -- we, too, must go through a process of change and rejuvenation in order to transform our lives.

While nature does this naturally with the change of seasons, most people have a difficult time dealing with change and transforming themselves into the person they want to become.

But, in order to achieve our higher purpose and fulfill our dreams, we must experience the same transformation as the flowers that go dormant in winter only to return to their vibrant, colorful self in springtime. During winter, there appears to be no signs of life. But, deep within the plant’s roots, a new bloom is preparing to emerge. It is only through this process of change and rejuvenation that nature’s beauty reveals itself to us. As Gerald De Nerval said so poignantly, “Each flower is a soul opening out to nature.”

So, how can you transform yourself into the person you want to become? Here are five steps from The Course of 10,000 Days that I recommend you follow.

1. Dream Big. You cannot achieve anything you are not willing to become. So, dream big. Consider the impossible. What is it that you really want in life? Ironically, most people only pursue those things they think they can accomplish. They never dream big. Allow the vibrations of nature to change your thought process. See the universe as offering you opportunities for success instead of limiting you and holding you back. You’ll be amazed at how many things come your way when you dream big. And, remember, if you shoot for the stars, but only hit the moon, that’s still a pretty good shot!

2. Don’t Worry, Be Happy. There’s an old axiom that goes “worry is like paying interest on money you haven’t yet borrowed!” It’s true. Don’t be a worry wart. There’s a better way to approach life. Be happy. Stop worrying. You can’t control the universe, so why worry about it. Instead, be a possibility thinker and create solutions. You will attract good things into your life when you are happy.

3. Use Your Talents. So many people keep wishing and praying for things -- never realizing they already have most of what they need in some form. They just aren’t using their talents or accessing people in their lives who can help them achieve their dreams. Let me give you an example. My friend, Allen, is a talented writer who had a great idea for a novel. But, Allen procrastinated writing his novel for nearly two years. He told me he didn’t have enough time to write his book. But, I knew that wasn’t true because we all have the same amount of time. It’s merely a question of how we spend it. The real reason Allen postponed writing his novel was a fear of rejection by publishers. I told Allen he was rejecting his work before a publisher ever had a chance to review his brilliant writing. I coached Allen to write 250 words every day at a specific time and email me whatever he had written before he went to bed. It worked. Allen finished his novel in seven months and received several publishing offers. So, use your talents… or lose them!

4. Create Your Own Happiness. I constantly hear people tell me they are unhappy because of things they lack in life. For example, they complain about their job. They don’t get along with their partner or spouse. Their boss is a jerk. The list of excuses goes on and on. But, the reality is that we create our own happiness in life. Unfortunately, there is only one thing in this world that can bring you happiness -- you! The only way you can create happiness in your life is to look yourself in the mirror every morning and say, “This may be all I’ve got to work with, but today I’m going to use it to create happiness and success for myself.” And then, get out there and activate your potential. Don’t rely on anyone else to create your happiness in life. Remember, your happiness is up to you.

5. Believe in Yourself. I’ve often wondered how Thomas Edison remained positive in his efforts to invent the right carbon filament for his light bulb invention in 1879. Despite ten thousand failed experiments, Edison pushed on and eventually discovered the right formula. Edison dreamed big. He believed in himself and never gave up. Have you made the same commitment to yourself? No one else will believe in you until you believe in yourself. A good question to ask is this: What one thing must I do today to grow myself to the next level? Then, make the commitment to do that one thing. Believe in yourself and radiate that belief so that others will be attracted to you and support you.

Put these five steps to practice in the next 24 hours and you’ll begin to see amazing results in your life. Start living your next 10,000 days and create a life worth remembering.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation and the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings on the subjects of Leadership and Life Change. He can be reached at www.tomhinton.com or by email at tom@tomhinton.com

Getting Past Your Mid-life Crisis through the "Dreams to Action" List

During the past month, I've talked to a number of people who shared with me their trials and tribulations in life. I'm talking about divorce, child custody battles, layoffs, career changes, money problems, and a host of other hardships that are taking their toll on these good people. They all want to know, "what should I do?"

There's no simple answer that will fix all of life's problems. But, there are three questions I encourage people to ask themselves whenever they are up against a wall. Here they are:

1. What's the worst possible thing that can happen to you if "X" occurs?
2. If "X" occurs, what would you do then?
3. Is there something you have always wanted to do with your life but you were too afraid to "make that leap" because something or someone was holding you back? Could this be the right time to pursue your dream?

Throughout history, ordinary people have achieved extraordinary things when they were faced with a "do or die" situation. People like Churchill, Mother Teresa, and Gandhi, to name but a few. They overcame their challenges and achieved great things. So can you! There's a wonderful expression that goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

Now, you might say, "Well, I have a dream. I'd like to be an author or classical pianist, but I haven't developed the skills to achieve my dream." I would tell you that is "Scarcity Thinking." Change how you think. As my friend Jim Cathcart, one of America's most successful speakers and authors, who is renown for Relationship Selling and personal development suggests, "If you spend one hour a day for five years, you will be an expert in anything!" I agree. In fact, it might not even take that long. But, the sooner you begin the journey, the sooner you will achieve your dream and live the life you want.

Let me give you one more example. This morning, I was shopping at the neighborhood grocery store, when I spotted an older gentleman who was a member at my health club. He has been going there for about 16 months. When he first started coming to the club, he was in bad shape. He had trouble walking. He had suffered a debilitating stroke or medical setback. But, this morning, I almost didn't recognize him because he was walking upright, albeit slowly, but without the assistance of a walker or his wife, who usually accompanies him to the health club. I hadn't been there for a month due to my travel schedule, so I paused and said to him, "Wow, you look great. You've really made progress!" He smiled and said, "I just take it one day at a time."

One day at a time. What a great attitude! Someone once said that "God doles out life in increments we can handle." We get 24 hours in a day; sixty minutes in an hour; and, sixty seconds in every minute. So, my question is "what are you doing this very minute to get your life back on track and inch closer to your dream?"

No one else is going to live your life for you. No one else can get you through your mid-life crisis or current setback. Only you can do that. So, once your tears have dried and you catch your breath, go over to the kitchen table and begin your "Dreams to Action" List. Just write down the one thing you will do today (even if it's 10:30 pm and you're tired!) that will move you closer to your dream. Then do it... now! Put a check by that item before you go to bed. This is a very important step (writing it down) to achieving your dream.

Tomorrow morning when you wake-up, write down one more thing you will do that will move you closer to your dream; and then, act on it sometime before you go to bed. Be sure to carry your "Dreams to Action" list with you; and, look at it during the day to remind you to get it done.

This simple step will make a tremendous difference in your life and will help you achieve your dreams.

So, what are you waiting for?
Get over to that kitchen table or computer desk and start writing your "Dreams to Action" List!

And please, drop me an email at tom@tomhinton.com and let me know how it's going!