Answering Life's Most Difficult Questions

by Tom Hinton

At a recent workshop I conducted on The Course of 10,000 Days™, one participant asked me, “What is life’s most difficult question?” This is a topic I’ve been studying and teaching for more than twenty years. As people reach their mid-forties, they begin to ask themselves serious questions about their higher purpose and what it takes to achieve their life goals. Certainly, these questions are more than just a passing phase for aging Baby Boomers.

What I have found is the older we get the more profound the questions become. Eventually, the twin issues of achieving our human potential and living a life worth remembering become a central focus for us. This is one reason why self-help books, personal development courses, and workshops like The Course of 10,000 Days™ have become so popular in recent years. Everybody is searching for answers to life’s most difficult questions.

I’ve concluded there are actually two questions that are the most difficult for people to answer. I say this because it’s important to understand that human beings have two dimensions -- a physical dimension and a spiritual dimension. Thus, there are two most difficult questions to answer -- one for each realm of our existence, physical and spiritual.

To answer the first of life’s most difficult questions, we should start in the physical realm because it is through our physical dimension that our spiritual essence is revealed. From a physical perspective, life’s most difficult question is this: How do I become the person I want to be?

In The Course of 10,000 Days™ we teach people that there are three steps to achieving our human potential and becoming the person we want to be. The first step is Acceptance of Self. In other words, embrace who I am. In the beginning, we were conceived in perfection and born into this world with unique attributes and talents. Our challenge is to discover those talents and develop them. Too many people trudge through life without ever discovering their greatness. Instead, they focus on their limitations and allow their weaknesses to hold them down. The principle of Acceptance of Self gets us out of the rut of self-pity and moves us into action by conducting a thorough self-assessment of our strengths and talents. I have found that once people begin to understand their strengths and explore their talents, they can climb out of the ruts and get on the path to achieving their life goals - one step at a time.

The second step is Life Focus. A good portion of The Course of 10,000 Days™ retreat is devoted to helping people identify their goals and dreams, and then developing a written plan of action to achieve them. During The Course™ retreat, attendees form groups of five-to-six people known as “B-HAGs” (an acronym for Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal-setters). This process includes setting written personal and professional goals as well as weekly conference calls lasting 45-minutes to review each participant’s goals and progress towards their goals. B-HAGs also use visual aids such as Dream Boards and complete a comprehensive 90-day review session with our instructors. In this way, people create a “no-excuse” environment and force themselves to stay focused on achieving their goals. Frankly, it’s hard work to change behavior and achieve our dreams. But, for those who follow the process, I can tell you it is very rewarding!

The third and final step is Good Vibrations. If you listen to the Beach Boys’ classic hit record from 1966, you’ll appreciate the positive, feel good lyrics. It’s no different in real life. I have found that it’s not enough to merely accept one’s self and set goals. Ultimately, you need to change certain behavior that inhibits your progress.

Also, you need to ACT! This is an acronym that translates as follows: “A” is for Accept Your Gifts. We are who we are. Each person has talents and gifts bestowed upon them at birth and developed knowingly or unknowingly over their lifetime. The secret is to discover your gifts and talents. Then, begin to use them to achieve your goals and live your dreams. Incidentally, all gifts and talents are positive and loving. In other words, being a jewel thief or a skilled liar are not gifts. These are abuses of one’s undeveloped talents.

The “C” represents Commit to Your Goals. We all know people who are talented, but for some strange reason they never seem to achieve their dreams or goals. Years ago, I recall meeting a gentleman who had a great idea for a software program to help accountants and others manage their bookkeeping chores. A few years went by and when we met again we revisited our earlier discussion about software programs. By this time, Quicken and other financial accounting software programs had been introduced to the marketplace. He reminded me that he had thought of this concept years ago, but never acted. In other words, he lacked commitment. He was a brilliant person, but he never put his ideas into a formal plan of action and committed himself to doing it. Eventually, that brilliant idea floated away and landed in the lap of another person who reaped the benefits because they were committed.

The “T” in our ACT Formula represents Take Decisive Action. Simply translated, this means that every day you must do something decisive that moves you closer to success. I’ve met dozens of people who tell me they have a great idea for a book. I always respond by saying, “That’s great. Tell me, what are you doing today to make your book idea a reality?” More often than not, the answer is nothing. It may be a great idea, but without decisive action that book will never get written -- at least by that aspiring author! You need to sit down and write a page a day in order to translate your idea into a book.

To generate Good Vibrations in your life, follow the ACT Formula.

It’s hard to focus on our spiritual essence when our physical needs are not being met. This is why The Course of 10,000 Days™ emphasizes the importance of life balance in the three major areas of our physical dimension. They are: Self, Health, and Wealth. Once these needs are identified and your attention is focused on your intentions, you can begin to answer the second of life’s most important questions:

How do I achieve my higher purpose?

As The Course of 10,000 Days™ teaches us, we all have the same higher purpose in this lifetime. But, because we are uniquely different and possess special talents and the gift of free will, we pursue our higher purpose in many different ways. The end result is that some of us discover our higher purpose while others live a life of quiet desperation. Why is that?

The primary reason is analogous to the children’s story of the Three Little Pigs. You cannot build your life on straw principles and muddy routines and expect them to withstand the torrential threat of negativity, disappointment, and hardships. Life requires us to build our physical and spiritual temples of solid brick or stone so that we can overcome the periodic threats and storms that come our way. This means that our principles must be tried and tested. We must believe in ourselves so that we can overcome those moments of doubt when they come along. What The Course of 10,000 Days™ helped me discover was how to build a solid foundation so that I was strong enough to withstand the daily barrage of life’s challenges, negative news, and those unpleasant people who feel compelled to step on my sand castles. The Course™ also taught me how to discover purpose, peace, and passion in my life -- which are the keys to unlocking the gate of your spiritual dimension. Without discovering inner peace and your passion in life, it is impossible to find your higher purpose.

So, after much reflection and discussion, I believe these are life’s most difficult questions. The quest to discovering your higher purpose and then living it can be a rewarding one. But, it will require you to do all the things I’ve shared in this article.

If you’re looking for a positive resource to help you on your journey, I encourage you to consider The Course of 10,000 Days™ and the various programs offered by The 10,000 Days Foundation.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of The 10,000 Days Foundation. He is the author of four books including 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is also a popular speaker at various conferences and meetings. For more information, please email: tom@tomhinton.com

Cheers and Jeers: Restoring Civility in the Bleepin’ Bleachers

by Tom Hinton

I hate to be the one who blows the whistle and calls for a time out on the fans, but there’s a growing problem at high school and college athletic events that needs to be nipped in the bud quickly. It’s a problem that parents and school administrators are responsible for creating because they have not stepped-in to control their sons and daughters, or put an end to certain, unacceptable sporting event practices that clearly cross the line.

I’m talking about the heightened irreverence and disrespect that student-fans are showing for the opposing team at sporting events. This is a problem that has gone far beyond the traditional rivalry cheers, barbs, and exchanges at football and basketball games. It’s now become a common occurrence at most high school and college sporting events I attend -- even girls’ sports have become infected.

It’s reached the point where an unsuspecting spectator attending his first game might think that the vulgarity, taunts, crude signs, and even offensive t-shirts are accepted practice among certain inept athletic directors and school administrators who should know better.

I recognize that students should be able to have fun; and, that sporting events offer a great opportunity to let off some steam and razz the other team. In fact, I think it’s an important element of school spirit and camaraderie to have a group of students form cheer squads, paint their bodies, and sit together to root on their team and goad the opponent. That behavior has been around since the gladiators fought in Rome’s Coliseum.

But, civility is lost and good sportsmanship is trounced when raucous students and their parents engage in over-the-line behavior such as booing, name-calling, or using vulgar language to harass and taunt the opponent. These are unacceptable practices and every high school and college administrator, and sports commissioners should establish very clear game conduct guidelines, and enforce harsh penalties for any school that does not control its spectators.

The line has already moved in the wrong direction. For example, many universities and high schools think nothing of allowing fans to wave noodles and streamers, or shout “Miss! Miss! Miss!” while a basketball player attempts a free throw shot from the foul line. If that was your kid at the foul line, how would you feel? Sure, you want to do everything you can to psyche out the shooter before he attempts his/her shot. That’s why coaches call timeouts -- to freeze the field goal kicker, right? But, once the player takes aim and shoots the ball, civility and etiquette should be the rule.

Consider an ugly incident that was reported by San Diego Union Tribune reporter Steve Brand. At a recent high school girl’s basketball game between two upscale private schools, La Jolla Country Day (LJCD) and Bishops, a Bishop High School basketball player was booed loudly and taunted by her former La Jolla Country Day schoolmates whenever she handled the ball. While these two teams have a vigorous rivalry, there was a complete lack of decorum among San Diego’s so-called privileged citizenry that populated the La Jolla Country Day bleachers and allowed their sons and daughters to engage in this inexcusable and embarrassing behavior.

Of course, you would think the administrators of La Jolla Country Day would have adequately addressed the incident? Apparently not, because when the same two teams met again a few weeks later, La Jolla Country Day’s parents and students replaced their vulgar taunting with hurtful, negative signs that were directed towards the young lady from Bishop. Again, how could a group of so-called upscale parents sit there and allow that to happen? It was a disgraceful repeat incident that offended not only the event attendees, but the entire community; and, it showed the LJCD parents and school administrators for what they really are -- classless egalitarians.

Someone needs to ask the obvious question. What are parents and school administrators doing to control their fans? We’re not talking about trying to control crazy, drunken Oakland Raider fans here. We’re talking about high school and college sporting events where parents, coaches, school administrators, and sports commissioners -- not to mention the game referees -- should have some modicum of control over the event and its environment. As one CIF official told reporter Steve Brand, “The gym needs to be viewed as an extension of the classroom. If a student was making a presentation in the classroom, would it be all right to boo? No, that’s disrespectful. Would you allow negative signs? No, that’s disrespectful, too!” I completely agree and applaud this approach to maintaining civility and decorum at high school and college athletic events.

So, why isn’t there more civility at these games? I think the obvious answer is that parents and administrators have lost perspective; or, they simply have no commons sense as was demonstrated by the La Jolla Country Day parents and students. Harsh, you say? Well, then you tell me why adults sit there passively in the stands and allow student-fans (and even other parents) to cross the line. Somebody needs to accept responsibility and call these idiots out.

Here’s a solution. Sporting Event Standards (similar to the 1999 program, “Pursuing Victory with Honor,” that was adopted by the California Inter-scholastic Federation) need to be approved, publicized, and enforced among parents, fans, and the student body. Security personnel at these games should be authorized to confiscate offensive signs and shirts as well as forewarn fans to refrain from vulgar outbursts and chants. Once this type of enforcement starts to happen, people will get the message that civility and decorum are expected and fans will begin to express their support and/or disgust during the game in appropriate ways.

There will always be booing of the referees and negative chants when a certain call goes against the home team. But, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when bleacher behavior crosses the line. That’s when school administrators and sporting officials need to step in and control the fans in the bleachers.

It’s tougher to do in college sports, especially when cross-town rivals go at it. But, nevertheless, the same rules should apply here. My experience at college games has been that drunken fans are the root cause for most problems in the bleachers. I’m not sure eliminating beer sales is the answer because most of these fans, especially college students, are already drunk when they arrive in the bleachers and begin their offensive conduct and immature conduct. Short of removing them from the game, I don’t know what else can be done.

It’s not my intention to take the fun out watching the game by suppressing the spontaneity of sports fans. I love a good game and I certainly like to cheer on my favorite team. But, when you have to sit next to some-loud mouth jerk and listen to him repeatedly bellow out vulgarities or wave his offensive sign, well, now my rights to enjoy the game have been infringed upon. And, I don’t like it. Sometime, I’ll encourage him to sit down, but I don’t want to start a fight and I don’t want to get sued. So, it’s up to the school administrators, their security personnel, and other officials to calm him down or remove him from the bleachers.

It’s getting to the point where good fans like me are seriously considering staying home. Why bother? Who needs the hassle? And, that’s really too bad because when enough good fans capitulate and decide to stay home, well, now the idiots are running the asylum and ruining the game for the rest of us -- not to mention how it makes the players on both sides of the bench feel.

I just hope your son or daughter doesn’t come home some night after giving their best in a game feeling depressed and suicidal because of the unfair taunting and verbal insults directed their way from a few immature parents and students who should know better. That would be the ultimate tragedy, wouldn't it, sport fans? Let's remember, it's only a game!

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular author and professional speaker. His new book is entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. For more information visit www.tomhinton.com or email him at tom@tomhinton.com

Love Is In the Air

by Tom Hinton

As St. Valentine’s Day approaches, I thought I’d share with you an interesting practice that is being used by my high school -age daughter, Becca, and her one thousand most intimate friends. They conclude every telephone call with this heartfelt phrase, “Love you! Bye.”

Becca and her friends have been using this valediction since they were in sixth grade. I’m not sure who started it but it seems to have caught on. Now, it seems like all the teen-agers -- boys and girls alike -- are using this expression when ending telephone calls with their friends. I even hear them saying “Love ya! Bye.” when talking to their parents. How refreshing!

Mind you, I haven’t sat down with Becca and asked her, “Hey, where did this phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” come from and who started it?” I know better. You see, I’m certain she would just look at me with that deer-in-the-headlights teen-age gaze and reply, “That’s the gayest (most stupid) question you’ve ever asked me, Dad!” Then she’d shrug her shoulders, toss her hair, and walk away disgusted once again with her father. Oh well, there are some things parents must figure out for themselves.

So, for all you parents out there, here’s my analytical interpretation of what’s really being communicated when our wonderful, little darlings are on their cell phones. According to my phone bill, my daughter (and I’m sure this applies to your sons and daughters as well) makes about 422 calls every school night between 3pm and 10 pm. I don’t know how this is mathematically possible, but I believe the number is fairly accurate. Most of these calls are short because they never seem to last more than a few seconds. Some of the calls are intense because they deal with “boy” issues. I know because I can barely hear what’s being said even with her bedroom door closed.

But, regardless of how all these conversations flow, they always hang-up as friends. You see, friendships are re-affirmed or all is forgiven at the end of the call with the simple phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” This way, all the kids get a good night’s sleep (if you count five hours as a good night’s rest) and arrive at school the next morning tired, but still friends. I think that explains it all.

Well, maybe not. Perhaps, there’s a deeper, more serious explanation. Perhaps this younger generation desperately needs friendship and love in their lives. You see, their parents have been poor role models in these categories with our high divorce rates, our penchant for war, guns, and violence; and, basically screwing-up the environment and the world we live in. Now that I think about it, maybe our kids are trying to tell us something… love is all you need.

About the Author. Tom Hinton is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings. He is also the author of four books including 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion in Your Life. For information please email him at tom@tomhinton.com

The Heart of Work

by Tom Hinton

When I was a college student at the University of Maryland, I was very fortunate to land a part-time job in the Washington, D.C. area with a non-profit organization that served people with disabilities. My boss was named Robert. Despite the fact that Robert had been paralyzed from wounds he suffered in the Vietnam War, he was a positive and kind person who brought an abundance of excitement and positive thinking to the workplace. Even though he was confined to a wheelchair, Robert never let his physical limitations reduce his spirits. He was always upbeat and motivating. He was a great role model for us.

Robert expected good things from his employees and, in turn, he tried to instill in us a sense of responsibility to the organization and a commitment to give our very best, one hundred percent of the time.

Robert taught me several important lessons about leadership and how to succeed in the workplace. He believed that success in the workplace boiled down to two things --building positive relationships with other employees, and distinguishing yourself as part of the team.

When Robert talked about leadership, he was fond of citing the HEART acronym. He told us if we would lead with heart, we would always be successful regardless of the kind of business we managed or our rank or title. Here it is.

“H” stands for Humility. Never forget to check your ego at the door when you show-up for work. Always share the credit with those that got you there. If you are humble and give your team the credit for a job well done, it’s amazing how many people will want to be part of your team. Another part of humility is admitting you don’t have all the answers. Robert used to remind us that the best leaders solicit ideas and solutions from others because no two people see things the same. It’s just possible somebody else will have a good idea you didn’t think of! By the way, part of humility is acknowledging people for their good ideas. Humility is also putting the needs and interests of others first. Robert reminded us that the best leaders always put their teammates first. Great leaders are accustomed to being served last.

“E” represents Energy. When you arrive at work make sure you bring your best with you. Robert reminded us to put an extra jolt of energy and excitement in our voices when we answered the telephone or greeted a volunteer-member of the organization. He said that we should never forget that the person on the other end of the telephone line might be feeling down or in need of an emotional lift. Try to be the person who brings a little extra positive energy to the office because some people might have forgotten theirs.

Robert also told me that the fastest way to boost workplace productivity and results is to energize the workplace. Create a friendly, positive environment that invites people to give their best and enjoy themselves. Finally, Robert told us that there is no room in the workplace for toxic talk or negativity. Only positive energy would be allowed in his department. That’s why Robert never complained about the weather, the traffic, or his physical limitations. Although he was uncomfortable and suffered some physical pain, he never showed it. In fact, he always celebrated life to its fullest each and every day. Whenever we saw Robert wheeling around the office, we quickly realized that any complaints we had about life paled in comparison to what he had overcome.

“A” is for Abundance. Regardless of the cards life deals us, Robert believed that every person was capable of creating abundance in their life. He was a shining example of this. He took stock of his talents and attributes and did the best he could with them. If Robert awoke in the morning feeling sorry for himself or angry because he had lost the use of his legs, we never saw a hint of this. By the time he rolled into work, he had transformed any frown or physical discomfort into a smile and he was focused on doing the best he could.

Robert also taught us something else about abundance. It had little to do with money or possessions. When Robert spoke about abundance, he would always talk about the emotional aspects of abundance -- the heart and soul of abundance -- our ability to serve others. “The well of abundance never runs dry,” he was fond of saying.

“R” is for Respect. At work, we were frequently reminded to respect the needs of our members and each other. “Every human being deserves respect,” Robert would tell us. He also reminded us that there would be times during the day when someone would call our office and wouldn’t know how to ask for help. Perhaps it was their sense of pride or their inability to face their physical limitations. But, it was very important that we listen to each caller and give people a chance to work through their pain and anger. In the end, Robert reminded us, everyone wants to know you’re their friend; that you care about them as a person. This was Robert’s definition of respect. He understood that human dignity, when reduced to its lowest common denominator, amounted to kindness, caring, and understanding.

“T” represents “Think.” If there was one thing that got Robert hot under the collar it was when people opened their mouths before they put their brains in gear. Robert insisted that we think about what we wanted to say before we said it, and planned what we wanted to do before we did it! He encouraged us to write drafts before we sent a letter. Robert also suggested that we script-out our calls to prospective members before dialing the number so we didn’t get tongue-tied or lost in our thought process. It was good advice.

Robert, who served as a First Sergeant in his U.S. Army company, told us that when you are under fire in a combat situation, you learn quickly to think, or you might not survive. His military training and quick thinking saved his life when his company came under heavy enemy fire for several hours. Despite his wounds, he kept his cool and was able to drag himself and two wounded comrades to safety. His valor earned him a Silver Star. His story was a powerful reminder of why it’s important to train your mind and discipline your thought process so you can react calmly and quickly in any situation.

Twenty-five years later I still use Robert’s HEART acronym. I am also appreciative to have had the kind of boss who genuinely cared about his employees and was willing to give us many special gifts that would last a lifetime. Now, whenever I hear people talk about the heart of work, I think fondly of Robert and the heart he gave all of us who worked with him.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a dynamic and inspirational speaker who helps his clients achieve personal growth and life balance. He can be reached at tom@tomhinton.com

How to Get Better Results in Your Life

by Tom Hinton

Seven years ago, I began my work day like most people. I woke-up to an alarm clock, showered, dressed, ate a fast breakfast, and made a mad dash to my office to beat the morning traffic. Once I arrived at work, my day was consumed with emails, phone calls, and everybody else’s “to do” list. On most days, I had to stay late just to get my assignments completed. Life wasn’t much fun so I made some major changes.

In 2001, while waiting to address a business conference, I heard another speaker tell the audience, “To succeed in business, you need to transform yourself. Then you can change your business from the inside out.” That thought stuck with me and, after a few weeks, I began to ask myself, “How do I transform myself?”

I stumbled upon a simple, but effective, three-step process that I’ll share with you so you can start getting better results in your life.

1. Ask Yourself What Works and What Doesn’t Work in Your Life?
If you’re really honest with yourself, this can be a very powerful question that sets you free and lifts some burdens off your shoulders. In examining my own life, I discovered several things that weren’t working for me. For example, I did not enjoy managing people. Once I set confronted my ego, I realized that while I’m a good manager as well as a fair and considerate boss, I did not excel at administrative duties, solving human resource issues, and hiring/firing people. Others, who were trained in this area, could do a much better job than me. I also came to the realization that when I spent my time writing, speaking, and creating new products and services for our company, our revenue jumped. So, I transitioned out of the administrative role and hired a capable person who could perform all those functions much better than me -- and, she enjoys doing the work! Now, I’m free and I don’t have to get involved in the day-to-day administrative corporate issues.

2. Devote Your Time to Doing Those Things You Love to Do.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old expression that “the best work in life is doing those things you love so much you’d do them for free; except, you’re good enough to get paid for doing it!” If you are not engaged in fulfilling work that you truly enjoy, begin today to make the transition into something that excites you and keeps you mentally and physically healthy. It’s a sad commentary on our society that fewer than 20 percent of working people love their job. How unfortunate. Consider all the human talent that is being squandered because people are working at jobs that really don’t like. How much more productive could we be if we just quit and started doing something that we felt passionate about? Imagine how much happier the world would be!

I have a good friend who told me, “Life is too short to waste your days doing something that you really don’t want to do.” My friend’s statement pushed me to take action and start doing the things I love to do. When I share this statement with my workshop participants, several people respond by telling me, “I can’t just quit my job. I need the income!” Others react by asking me, “Well, what would I do? Where would I live?” While these are valid questions and concerns, I believe they are the ego’s way of holding you back. Our egos only operate out of fear and love. Our ego isn’t interested in the here-and-now; it’s only interested in the past and the future because that’s how our egos control our behavior and actions.

However, if you listen to your Inner Spirit and allow yourself to transform your dreams from wishes to reality, you will find a way to start living your dreams. But, you must first let go of your old ways and habits. Your old habits and predictable life patterns are holding you back from discovering new possibilities.

Some of the best advice I ever got was from a coach who told me -- when I asked him whether or not I should accept a new job -- he asked me, “What’s the worst thing that could happen to you if you accepted the new job?” When I told him that “getting fired after two months would be the worst thing that could happen,” he then asked me, “If that happened -- if you got fired after two months -- what would you do about it?” I thought about his question and replied, “I’d go get a new job!” He just nodded and asked me, “So, what’s all the fuss about? Go for it!” I did and everything worked out just fine. I realized my ego was trying to hold me back by using fear and uncertainty to keep me in my current job. Fortunately, I listened to my Inner Spirit’s counsel and made the move to a new career path. And, all was well.

3. Have the Courage to Take a Few Risks in Life.
This leads me to the third step, taking risks. There’s a delightful new book series entitled, 1,000 Things to Do Before You Die. It’s about taking control of your life and visiting places around the world, doing exciting things, and living a life worth remembering. But, of course, first you need to be motivated or inspired to take action.

I understand you might be the kind of person who needs to summon up the courage to get off your sofa and venture outside into the unknown. That’s okay because most people are just like you. But, if you never take any risks, you’ll never know what it was like to really live! I’m not suggesting that you should bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, but, you might want to actually go someplace other than sit at home or drive 200 miles to your sister-in-law's house on your next vacation! You might think about taking a cruise or visiting a national park, or treating yourself to a weekend spa experience. I guarantee you’ll never be the same! As Albert Einstein said, “Once your mind is stretched, it will never return to its original dimension.”

Oh yeah - one other thing. For those of you who are tightwads and don’t want to spend any money on yourself -- well, just remember this. You may as well live a little because you can’t take it with you!

About the Author: Tom Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a dynamic and inspirational speaker who helps his clients achieve personal growth and life balance. He can be reached at tom@tomhinton.com

Getting Motivated and Staying Positive Every Morning

by Tom Hinton

It probably comes as no surprise that very few people wake-up feeling energized, invigorated, and positive. In fact, studies show that most people are grumpy and irritated in the morning. Furthermore, most people require their daily fix of caffeine or some other stimuli before they can even manage a smile or “good morning.” This got me wondering… why is it? Why aren’t people more positive?

While there are many reasons, I’ve whittled the list down to three primary causes as to why people begin their day feeling blah instead of great! If you’re among the “Blah Crowd” (and that’s not meant as criticism), ask yourself which one of these three reasons best describes your attitude or mindset when you wake-up in the morning?

1. I Can’t Get Motivated. Maybe it’s your tough commute to work, or the frost-coating on your windshield, or the fact that you partied late last night and you just can’t face that 6:00 am alarm clock. Perhaps, you just hate your job, or your boss is a jerk. These are all valid reasons why so many people would rather stay in bed than rise and shine!
2. I’m Not a Morning Person. I know people who don’t function before 11:00 am. They’re just not morning people. They enjoy staying up late into the night to read a favorite novel or watch the Late, Late, Late Show. And, beware! If you approach their office before lunch time, they might bite your head off or appear to be heavily medicated.
3. Life Sucks. If today represents “more of the same,” and you’re facing the same, old tiring routine, it’s understandable that you probably won’t be very excited about getting out of bed and jump-starting your day. I think this is the major reason why most people have the morning blahs. When life is dull, people are prone to be unmotivated and uninspired.

This is reality. If you can relate to any of these scenarios, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself an important question: What can I do to change my situation and start living the life I really want to live?

Here are three “triggers” -- as I call them -- you can use to change your life and start living the life you really want to live. I recognize that these are small triggers, but, nevertheless, they are significant steps you can take to get yourself motivated and ready to accomplish good things! See if they work for you and help you start living the life you really want to live.

1. Change the Way You Begin Your Day. It wasn’t too long ago that I relied on an alarm clock to shake me out of bed. No more! I made the decision to change the way I begin each day by becoming a morning person. I did away with alarm clocks and programmed myself to awaken each morning at 4:45 am. It wasn’t easy because, frankly, I wasn’t a morning person. But I made the conscious decision to change certain habits and patterns in my life in order to achieve better results. This is why I decided to get up early, exercise, and tackle my toughest daily goals before 7:00 am. It took me about two months to make this adjustment, but now, I am a morning person and I am accomplishing much more than before. By the way, it also helps me beat the morning traffic. My stress level is lower and I smile a lot more!

2. “BAG IT” Every Morning. Before I bounce out of bed, I take two minutes to complete the “BAG IT” Exercise. This wonderful exercise is something I learned from The Course of 10,000 Days™. Here’s how it works. The “B” is for Blessings. What three blessings do you have in your life at this very minute? The “A” is for Accomplishments. What three things did you accomplish in the past 24 hours that you can celebrate and feel good about? And, the “G” is for Goals. What are three goals you will set for yourself this morning and complete today -- so when you BAG IT tomorrow morning, your Goals become your three Accomplishments?

3. I Read my Affirmations. Now, before you yawn and tell me affirmations are old school and don’t work, hear me out. I can tell you based on my personal experience and my work with hundreds of coaching clients that affirmations are not only a very positive force, but they do work.

In fact, when you recite your affirmations repeatedly, your mind listens and begins to believe what you are saying. Affirmations are simply positive mental statements that you believe in. This is a key point, of course. You must believe in what you are saying. It doesn’t matter how you will accomplish something; it only matters that you believe it can be accomplished. The key to Affirmations is this: you are training your mind to think positive thoughts while focusing on what you want to achieve in your life. The “who, what, when, where, and how” is not important at this moment. Every time you affirm something that meets the “S-M-A-R-T” test, your mind begins to conjure up ways to make those affirmations a reality. The “S-M-A-R-T” test is something I learned years ago from Dr. Ken Blanchard. It’s an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant to your life goals, and Time sensitive (a deadline must be stated to achieve your goals). Here’s an example of a goof affirmation: “I am a healthy person who eats healthy foods, exercises daily, and takes excellent care of my body.”

So, tonight I expect you to program your mental alarm clock and start waking-up on your own. Okay, you might want to set your alarm clock just in case you need a few days to get it right. But, seriously, the only way you will get motivated and stay positive is if you choose to change certain outcomes in your life. This is the only way I know of that you can begin to live the life you really want to live!

Email me and let me know how it goes for you.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular speaker and the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of your Life. For more information, please visit: www.tomhinton.com He can be reach at: tom@tomhinton.com

What Keeps You From Creating an Attitude of Abundance in Your Life?

by Tom Hinton

It seems the faster I peddle the farther behind I get!

The harder I try, the more I fail.

Everything I touch turns to mush.

It never rains, it pours.

Success is always just around the corner.

All the good men are already taken.

I never have enough money!

I hate my job.

My family doesn’t understand me.

Life is all work and no play.

These are just a sampling of the responses people have shared with me during The Course of 10,000 Days retreats when I’ve asked the question, “What keeps you from creating an Attitude of Abundance in your life?”

Most Baby Boomers have been conditioned to think and act the way we do because we were raised in a guilt-ridden culture that repeatedly sent such messages as ‘you are imperfect;’ ‘you are unworthy;’ ‘you need to be realistic;’ and, ‘lower your expectations.’ It should come as no surprise that many people have unintentionally sabotaged their life dreams by giving up on themselves before they’ve even put forth an honest effort to make their dreams a reality.

How can you undo this negative conditioning and create an Attitude of Abundance? Here are three steps we teach during The Course of 10,000 Days retreat to help people transform their lives from mediocrity to one of purpose, peace, and passion.

1. Challenge Your Beliefs and Values. So many of the beliefs and values we learned as impressionable children are negative, limiting, and create a “co-dependent” mindset. As an adult, it’s time you put your beliefs on trial and challenged them. Are they valid? Do they lead you to success in life or do they create barriers for success and make you dependent upon others? Do you believe what you’ve learned because your parents or teachers told you it was so? Or, have you closely examined those beliefs and values in the context of what your goals and aspirations are? I’m talking about the values and beliefs that presently guide and control your life decisions. Let me give you an example.

Marcia is 44 years-old. She is single and works as a marketing representative at a large Chicago law firm. Marcia told me her boss, who has a Masters Degree in Marketing, makes life difficult for a number of employees at the law firm who do not have at least a college degree despite their hard work and contributions to the law firm’s marketing and administrative functions. When I asked Marcia why she didn’t change law firms, she told me she didn’t think she could get a better paying job without a college degree.

As I analyzed Marcia’s current belief system and values, and how she can create an Attitude of Abundance in her life, I concluded that Marcia suffered from two negative beliefs that were limiting her success in life. The first is “Co-dependency.” If Marcia truly believed in herself she would not be dependent on her boss, who needs minions like Marcia in order to exert her abusive authority and play mind games with subordinates. There is no reason for someone to stay in a job when they are not respected. But, in Marcia’s case, she played into the co-dependency games of her boss who took advantage of Marcia’s low self-esteem by holding her back in life.

The second negative belief that inhibited Marcia’s success in life is “Unworthiness.” Marcia mistakenly thought that a college degree is the only standard of success by which she will be judged in life. Certainly, there are some jobs that require a college degree. But, in Marcia’s case, she is a talented marketing representative who gets results. She has a good track record. These are skills that most companies want in an employee regardless of their formal education. But, Marcia had convinced herself that no one would hire her without a college degree. I told Marcia that she would be no worse off if she contacted other law firms, sent them her resume, interviewed with them for a job, and didn’t get hired. In other words, she had everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying.

By appealing to Marcia’s negative belief s and limiting values (“I’ve got nothing to lose by sending out my resume!”), I was able to convince her to send her resume to five law firms that enjoyed excellent reputations as outstanding employers. Within two weeks, two law firms contacted Marcia and interviewed her. The happy ending is that last week Marcia politely quit her job and accepted a new marketing position that now pays her more and gives her more responsibility. Marcia’s self-esteem is higher and she now feels valued. At the same time, Marcia is continuing to work on undoing many of the negative beliefs that inhibit her success. She realizes that it does her no good to change jobs while continuing to carry the same negative beliefs and limiting values that held her back in life. It’s a challenge, but Marcia’s making significant progress.

2. Define Your Own Success in Life. It’s astonishing to talk with people and learn that the reason they never tried to achieve their life dream is because someone told them that it wasn’t possible! Regrettably, the worse offenders are usually those persons we love and respect the most -- our parents, siblings, teachers, relatives, and ministers. Understandably, much of my Baby Boomer generation grew-up with parents who survived the Great Depression in the 1920s and ‘30s. Thus, their beliefs and values were couched in scarcity not abundance. On the other hand, they did give us such wonderful values as generosity and helping others. But, the mindset of scarcity thinking caused many Baby Boomers to needlessly abandon their dreams and aspirations. Instead of pursuing our dreams and goals, many of us conformed to the ways of the silent majority and punched the clock at routine jobs.

During The Course of 10,000 Days retreats, we spend a considerable amount of time helping people redefine their life success plan and reconstruct their dreams. We build dream boards and talk about What If scenarios; and, what it takes to transition from the What Ifs to the What’s Next phase of life? The key is not to merely wish for something you want, but to set forth written action steps to achieve your goals and dreams. As one workshop participant recently told us, “I’ve watched The Secret fifteen times but I’m still not successful.” Well, The Secret is inspiring, but you need to get off the sofa and do something! Achieving success requires us to plan our work and work our plan.

3. Put Your Faith in You. When I grew up, action heroes like Superman, The Lone Ranger, and Davy Crockett inspired me. But, day by day, the harsh reality of life chipped away at my dreams and conditioned me to conform to society’s definition of success. I was told to believe not in myself, but in those institutions and organizations that would prepare me for the real world. It was well-intentioned advice, but not necessarily good advice. During an era of world wars, depressions, and social strife, my parent’s generation had little choice but to trust the views, teachings, and wisdom of their national government, the church, and educational institutions. Today, many of those same institutions have been corrupted and, in many respects, outlived their usefulness.

Our federal government has been engaged in a cunning campaign of lies and deceit for more than forty years in order to perpetuate its own survival and reckless global influence. Americans were misled to believe that war was vital for our national interest; that natural resources were plentiful and the environment was safe; and, the good life was still attainable for the masses as long as we did what the government told us to do. Politicians on both sides of the aisle continue to perpetuate this self-serving campaign of lies and deceit instead of telling citizens the truth. Why? Simply because many of our elected representatives have been corrupted by a system that fosters greed and power instead of putting the interests of its citizens first.

Many of the traditional religions are so scandal-ridden with sex abuse and fraud that they have lost much of their credibility with the Baby Boomer generation and our children. Even our education system is failing its students. Today, students can learn more from the Internet and their PlayStation games than in the classroom. Is it any wonder why kids are so bored in school and opt out?

I am witnessing firsthand the rise of a new and enlightened generation that is directly challenging the status quo. This generation believes the way it is, is not the way is should be in the future. They are bored with institutional learning and they are fed-up with educators who don’t deliver on the promise to make learning fun and inspiring. They’ve are questioning why they need to take mandated subjects if their passion lies elsewhere?

I am also finding that more youths are openly challenging the teachings of certain organizations that espouse such nonsensical beliefs as “Money is bad,” “Rich people are evil,” “You were born with Original Sin so you are imperfect,” and “It’s noble to be poor.” This victimization thinking is wrong; and, it is finally meeting stiff resistance among a new generation that is rejecting the call to conformity and compliance. No longer are a handful of inept leaders at the highest levels of government, religion, and education able to control and squander the dreams of another generation. This new generation is liberated and will go their own way while making decisions based on abundance, not scarcity thinking.

How interesting that the radical movements perpetuated by the Baby Boomers in the 1960s and ‘70s are returning in the guise of a spiritual quest that will allow us to revisit our dreams and create an Attitude of Abundance. Ironically, it is our children who are teaching us well this time around, not our failed institutional leaders who sold our early dreams down the river of hope.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation. He is the author of four books including 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is also a popular speaker at various conferences and meetings. For more information email him at tom@tomhinton.com