We hope you enjoy this excerpt from Tom Hinton's new book entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. It will be published in 2009. For more information on The Course of 10,000 Days, please visit this Blog or our soon-to-be-website at www.10kdays.com after March 1, 2009
Chapter 1: My Introduction to The Course of 10,000 Days
There are moments in our life when a nurturing, internal force challenges us to reconcile our existence with a higher power. The nurturing force I am referring to is your Inner Spirit. It can so profoundly affect your Being that as a result of its positive influence and guidance you can change your thoughts, behaviors, actions, and life outcomes. The higher power I am referring to is the Divine Source, that universal energy that is omnipotent and all-loving. I know this to be true because this is the spiritual transformation I made as a result of completing The Course of 10,000 Days.
Oftentimes, an encounter with your Inner Spirit occurs when you are most vulnerable -- when you are struggling through life; when your relationships are broken or failing; when you are in financial trouble; or, the pressures of performing your job seem overwhelming. It is during these difficult and trying times that the Inner Spirit -- that quiet, spiritual dimension that balances your ego -- surfaces to gently nudge you towards your higher purpose in life and, in turn, true success and happiness.
When your Inner Spirit emerges it poses such unsettling questions as: Who am I? and, How do I give my life meaning and purpose? Like a blade of grass inching its way above the soil in search of sunlight and the earth’s nutrients, your Inner Spirit quietly persists until you answer its call.
It was during such a moment in my life that I was introduced to The Course of 10,000 Days. Although it happened several years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an unseasonably hot August evening in
The drive from
Despite arriving twenty minutes late, Ajay greeted me warmly and dismissed my lack of punctuality with a wave of his hand as he pointed to the majestic
During dinner, I shared with Ajay the stress and aggravation of managing my growing business and trying to satisfy demanding clients. Ajay listened quietly to my woes and then he told me an intriguing story about how his life had been transformed by a philosophy that he learned a few years earlier in
Towards the end of our dinner conversation, Ajay offered to teach me The Course of 10,000 Days. Ajay knew me well enough to know that I was at a critical point in my life. My Inner Spirit was trying to surface -- like that single blade of grass seeking sunlight -- and I could either respond to its call or allow my ego to hold me captive indefinitely. I also realized this, so I accepted Ajay’s offer.
Over the next three months, I studied and completed The Course of 10,000 Days. What I learned from Ajay and others on my journey is shared with you in these pages. The goal of The Course is to help you discover and live your higher purpose. Everything you will read and learn flows from this goal.
The Course consists of four phases:
- Acceptance of Self. During this phase, you will examine your life by answering The Three Sacred Questions. Through this introspective process you will decide what you want to achieve during the next ten thousand days (27 years) of your life. Allow yourself to dream big. There are no limits.
- Acceptance of Others. In this phase, you will review The Three Sacred Questions and cross over the Bridge of Forgiveness by forgiving those who have offended you and seeking forgiveness from those you have offended.
- Acceptance of the Divine. This phase prepares you to enter The Kingdom of Roses by overturning the Four Stones that prevent your access to this spiritual state of grace where the inherent powers of the Divine Source and your higher purpose are revealed to you.
- Embracing the Gift of Love. It is during this final phase that you celebrate your higher purpose by embracing your infinite powers and living the greatest of those powers, the gift of love, through your words and deeds. This is how you will discover grace, peace, and true happiness in your life.
I wrote this book to help those of us who are entering our Legacy Years (which I define in Chapter Two) and yearn for meaningful answers to life’s most difficult questions including what is my higher purpose in life and how do I live a life worth remembering? But, as I’ve conducted weekend retreats on The Course and counseled thousands of people who are seeking answers to the same questions I asked myself five years ago, I realize that these turning points in a person’s life are not defined by age, but rather, by timing. Whenever our Inner Spirit senses we will be receptive to its overtures, it surfaces and invites us to respond to its call. Sometimes, the invitation from our Inner Spirit comes to us in the disguise of stress, doubt, uncertainty, and fear. The reason for the disguise is to get our attention. Very few people hear the call of their Inner Spirit when things are going well and their ego is in control!
I also learned from The Course that many people falsely believe there is something wrong with them -- emotionally or spiritually -- because they have no spiritual relationship or feel their life is on the wrong track. I can tell you that -- with very few exceptions -- these are simply hurdles and challenges that every adult faces. The Course teaches us that there is a major difference between having something mentally or emotionally wrong with you and having a void in your life. The Course also teaches that the sooner you can satisfactorily answer those haunting questions that your Inner Spirit continues to ask of you, the sooner you will find purpose, peace, and passion in your life.
I have also written this book for those who are awakening from a period of spiritual deprivation and want to re-connect with their Inner Spirit in order to find purpose, peace, and passion in life. Perhaps, you are like me and yearn to make the journey to that special place that lies deep within you where life is more satisfying and rewarding. I can tell you -- having made the journey -- that it is a place everyone can reach. But, I must also tell you that it requires a personal commitment to become the person you dream about as well as deep introspection on your part to get there.
The Course of 10,000 Days is based on a simple life-balance philosophy that allows both your ego and Inner Spirit to work together in harmony to fulfill your dreams and live your higher purpose. While The Course is not aligned with any particular religion or philosophy, it compliments the life lessons we have learned from the greatest teachers and philosophers throughout the ages.
Ajay told me that on my journey of 10,000 Days I will repeatedly meet myself; and, every encounter will afford me a new opportunity for self-examination, truth, awareness, forgiveness, acceptance, growth, and inner peace. Each encounter will bring me closer to my ultimate destination, a spiritual place that The Course refers to as The Kingdom of Roses. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will discover your higher purpose and the secret to a life worth living. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will find that level of internal peace you have sought all these years. Having said this, The Course will test you intellectually and spiritually because it demands that you balance the four aspects of your total self -- Being, Thinking, Feeling, and Doing -- before you can enter The Kingdom of Roses. This is why The Course requires a serious commitment on your part to complete it.
As you embark on The Course of 10,000 Days, you will be asked to examine your life very carefully and truthfully. I can tell you that each question, exercise, and phase of The Course has been carefully developed and refined over many years. If you have doubts, as I did, I can only counsel you not to judge yourself or The Course prematurely. Instead, remind yourself this phase of your life is a journey of ten thousand days. As Ajay Shivani told me, “I spent fifty years allowing my ego to control my life and lead me by the nose. I decided to spend one hundred days mastering The Course to learn how to reconnect with my Inner Spirit so that I could finally give meaning and purpose to the rest of my life.”
It also took me about one hundred days to complete The Course because of my work and travel schedule. For most people, it will take considerably less time given the availability of Course workshops and weekend retreats. For some, the answers will appear more quickly than they did for me. For others, it might take longer. Don’t get frustrated. Be patient. Allow your Inner Spirit to surface and guide you through this rewarding process.
Although I now teach The Course, I am always trying to improve myself and live-up to the commitments I made as a student of The Course. There are times when living The Course demands all my patience -- and then some. I can also tell you that despite my best intentions to be the person I truly want to become, I still fall short. But, I know in my heart I am a better person today than I was yesterday. Also, I am much closer to achieving my life goals because I am living my higher purpose every day and allowing my Inner Spirit to surface more often and guide me to that Universal Truth we all seek -- acceptance of self and existing in a state of peace and love.
While I cannot promise you that The Course will answer all your questions, I can tell you this. You will discover your higher purpose and you will begin the transformation from the person you are now to the person you want to become. How you act on your discoveries and decide to change your life is up to you. For me, The Course opened my heart to new possibilities and pathways. It also taught me how to be more patient, forgiving, loving, understanding with others, and tolerant of people’s views, personalities, behaviors, and emotionally-charged responses.
This transformation did not come easy for me. In fact, my ego fought me every step of the way. But, with Ajay’s help and the guidance and counsel of others who have mastered The Course, I persisted and found the keys that opened the doors to The Kingdom of Roses and gave my life purpose, peace, and passion.
The Course of 10,000 Days also taught me kindness. I am not as harsh or judgmental as I used to be. Now, I am more accepting of people. When someone cuts me off on the freeway, or steps into the airport security line ahead of me, I graciously let them in. I refrain from judging them. I just allow it to happen. When a homeless person approaches me on the street and asks me for some spare change, I give what I can without judging their motive or needs. I also make sure the gardener has a cold bottle of water on a hot summer day. I also leave a few dollars on my pillow for the hotel housekeepers as an extra “thank you” for their service. I did not used to do these things. It wasn’t because I was cheap. It was because I was ego-driven. I was into myself instead of responding from my Inner Spirit. Through The Course I learned a powerful lesson. The ego does not respond with acts of love. The ego only responds to self-gratification and self-preservation. It cannot comprehend love as an act of giving and kindness because such acts are counter to self-gratification and self-preservation which feed the ego. The ego can be infatuated, but it cannot love. Only your Inner Spirit can love.
Let me share with you one experience that helped me understand how my Inner Spirit guided me and transformed me. I was new to The Course. I had been studying it for only three weeks when I checked into a hotel in
As I walked down the hotel corridor towards my guest room, I had to maneuver my luggage past a housekeeper’s cart that was blocking the hallway. My initial response was one of irritation because I couldn’t get past the housekeeper’s cart without pushing it aside. As I walked by the open guest room, I spotted an older Hispanic woman on her hands and knees scrubbing out the bathtub and cleaning the tile floor. It was her housekeeper cart that was blocking the hallway. We made eye contact and, for some reason, she reminded me of my mother. Suddenly, she looked at me with her kind eyes and smiled. She said to me in her second language, English, “Hello, sir, can I help you?”
I quickly regained my composure and asked her if she would be cleaning my guest room? She got up off her hands and knees and said to me, “Oh, yes sir. Do you have any special requests for me, like extra towels or shampoo?” I was so touched by her personal commitment to service that I reached into my wallet and gave her ten dollars. I said to her, “No, I just want you to know that I appreciate all your hard work.” She smiled and said to me, “Oh, bless you, sir. You are very kind. Thank you, sir,” and returned to the bathroom where she dropped to her knees and continued scrubbing out the bathtub.
I walked a short distance down the corridor and went inside my room. As I closed the door behind me, tears welled up in my eyes because I realized that this woman, who made her living scrubbing bathroom floors and cleaning hotel guest rooms, had a more generous heart than I did. I felt like a jerk even though I never said anything unkind to her. But, my intention was to reprimand her for something as trivial as blocking the corridor with her cart that it made me stop and ask myself, ‘Is this how I treat others?’ It made me realize that I was the lesser person and, in those moments when I allowed my ego to dictate my first response or put my selfish needs ahead of others, I was not living The Course or honoring my commitments to practice what Ajay had taught me. It was at that moment that my Inner Spirit surfaced once again and asked me a series of penetrating questions. I did not have any good answers except to admit that I was flawed, selfish, and unhappy with who I was and how I treated others.
Although I had been studying The Course for only a month, this was the defining moment when I made the conscious decision to change my thoughts, behaviors, actions, and outcomes. From that moment on I resolved to give my very best to each and every person I met. I also resolved to find a positive, kind word to say to people and not talk down to them or criticize them. No longer would I bitch and moan about the terrible trifles of life. As the song goes, I decided to accentuate the positive and see the ninety percent that people get right instead of the ten percent that we botch! Again, this is difficult to do on a consistent basis. But, I’m getting better at it with each passing day.
As a result of my encounter with that housekeeper and my Inner Spirit, I began to take small steps to consciously change my behavior and actions. I started with simple acts of kindness and forgiveness. For example, I stopped honking my car horn at other drivers and started to accept the many situations -- both pleasant and unpleasant -- that life-on-the-highway hurls at me.
As the bumper sticker reads, ‘Stuff Happens!’ Now, I just smile, shake my head, recite my personal mission statement to remain in a positive frame of mind, and I move on. I let go of those minor inconveniences and moments of stupidity by others. Years ago, a friend once asked me when I became angry over an annoying airport parking space dispute, “Is it worth suffering a heart attack over?” The answer is ‘no, it’s not!’ So, now, I try not to sweat the small stuff. Is it hard for me to do? Yes, absolutely! But, if I’m conscious and present in the moment, I can control my reaction and create a different response -- one that is positive and uplifting. I’ve learned to take time to stop and smell the roses in life. Part of this is due to the fact that I now see the roses whereas, before completing The Course, I never saw them! They were a blur as I raced through life. I was so busy trying to get to the future I forgot to live in the now! As I completed The Course I learned the importance of slowing down to enjoy life and experiencing it. The Course calls it living-in-purpose. How appropriate because discovering and living our higher purpose is our ultimate goal in life!
I understand that many people are struggling with serious problems and demons in their life. But, the solutions are the same regardless of your challenges. For me, these changes represented a major mind-shift in becoming the person I wanted to become. Before, whenever I was confronted with an emotionally-charged decision or choice -- to get upset with someone or, instead, manage a smile and say something pleasant -- I allowed my emotions to dictate my first response. Usually, my response was negatively charged and unfriendly as I lashed out at others. That only made matters worse. Now, I consciously choose to follow my Inner Spirit instead of my ego. I use the techniques I learned in The Course to control my temper and emotions. Now, in my thoughts and actions, I consciously try to be more understanding, kind, honest, and fair with people and myself. I want to attract success and happiness into my life. While I am far from perfect, and every day I make mistakes, I am conscious of my higher purpose and strive to live it every moment of every day.
Perhaps, the most significant discovery I made in completing The Course was recognizing the unlimited power of my Inner Spirit. Since I experienced this breakthrough, I have been able to accomplish much more with half the effort. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish when your Inner Spirit is guiding you -- instead of your ego -- and you are living your higher purpose. Doors will open for you and life will be better! Throughout this book, I will share with you the secret for unleashing the powers of your Inner Spirit and achieving your dreams and goals.
Let me digress for a moment to discuss the inherent conflicts between our ego and Inner Spirit. Through The Course, I discovered how my ego had quietly seized control of my life and the decisions I made. It was recognizable in small ways. For example, I found myself arguing and needing to be right which made other people wrong. I was judgmental and held onto grudges for a long time. I assessed blame and I resented certain people who had wronged me. While I was not hostile, I was short-tempered and insensitive to others’ feelings. Many times I acted without love in my heart.
In the process of surrendering my mind and emotions to my ego, I continued to unknowingly suppress my Inner Spirit. As I became aware of this fact I was able to change my thoughts, control my emotions, and alter the outcome of certain situations. I was elevated to a higher consciousness and this process helped me discover how to create a balance between my ego and Inner Spirit. It also helped me build lasting relationships, experience love, find peace, and create happiness in life. These are the things that truly matter in life. Just about everything else is simply the ‘stuff of life’ and inconsequential as I learned from The Course.
Finally, I have learned that while we are all teachers, we are also all students. The Course of 10,000 Days will require you to spend time learning about yourself and reflecting on the life you want to live. It will ask you to open your mind and heart to exciting, new possibilities. It will seduce you with the simple pleasures of life that you’ve ignored for so many years. And, it will ask you to let go of those things which you have no control over. The Course will also challenge you to eliminate certain people and behaviors from your life that are toxic and keep you from living your higher purpose. This includes the Old You that labels you as the Victim of Circumstances and harbors grudges, anger, and resentment towards yourself and others! It is through this awakening and discovery process, which is the foundation of The Course, you will transform yourself and achieve your greatest dreams and deepest desires. I tell you it is all possible because I have seen its power work, not only for me, but many others. But, it will require you to make some significant changes in how you choose to live your life -- the same challenges that Ajay and I were required to make.
I wish you peace and success on your journey to discovering your higher purpose and reconnecting with your Inner Spirit. I know that The Course of 10,000 Days will answer many of life’s most challenging and difficult questions for you as it did for me. But, most importantly, The Course will help you create the life you want to live and strengthen your relationships, bring you closer to achieving your goals and dreams, and enrich you in many ways.
I invite you to begin your journey now and discover the secret to purpose, peace and passion in your life. Through The Course, you will finally realize what an extraordinary person you are and how to live your next ten thousand days in harmony and happiness.
