What Keeps You From Creating an Attitude of Abundance in Your Life?

by Tom Hinton

It seems the faster I peddle the farther behind I get!

The harder I try, the more I fail.

Everything I touch turns to mush.

It never rains, it pours.

Success is always just around the corner.

All the good men are already taken.

I never have enough money!

I hate my job.

My family doesn’t understand me.

Life is all work and no play.

These are just a sampling of the responses people have shared with me during The Course of 10,000 Days retreats when I’ve asked the question, “What keeps you from creating an Attitude of Abundance in your life?”

Most Baby Boomers have been conditioned to think and act the way we do because we were raised in a guilt-ridden culture that repeatedly sent such messages as ‘you are imperfect;’ ‘you are unworthy;’ ‘you need to be realistic;’ and, ‘lower your expectations.’ It should come as no surprise that many people have unintentionally sabotaged their life dreams by giving up on themselves before they’ve even put forth an honest effort to make their dreams a reality.

How can you undo this negative conditioning and create an Attitude of Abundance? Here are three steps we teach during The Course of 10,000 Days retreat to help people transform their lives from mediocrity to one of purpose, peace, and passion.

1. Challenge Your Beliefs and Values. So many of the beliefs and values we learned as impressionable children are negative, limiting, and create a “co-dependent” mindset. As an adult, it’s time you put your beliefs on trial and challenged them. Are they valid? Do they lead you to success in life or do they create barriers for success and make you dependent upon others? Do you believe what you’ve learned because your parents or teachers told you it was so? Or, have you closely examined those beliefs and values in the context of what your goals and aspirations are? I’m talking about the values and beliefs that presently guide and control your life decisions. Let me give you an example.

Marcia is 44 years-old. She is single and works as a marketing representative at a large Chicago law firm. Marcia told me her boss, who has a Masters Degree in Marketing, makes life difficult for a number of employees at the law firm who do not have at least a college degree despite their hard work and contributions to the law firm’s marketing and administrative functions. When I asked Marcia why she didn’t change law firms, she told me she didn’t think she could get a better paying job without a college degree.

As I analyzed Marcia’s current belief system and values, and how she can create an Attitude of Abundance in her life, I concluded that Marcia suffered from two negative beliefs that were limiting her success in life. The first is “Co-dependency.” If Marcia truly believed in herself she would not be dependent on her boss, who needs minions like Marcia in order to exert her abusive authority and play mind games with subordinates. There is no reason for someone to stay in a job when they are not respected. But, in Marcia’s case, she played into the co-dependency games of her boss who took advantage of Marcia’s low self-esteem by holding her back in life.

The second negative belief that inhibited Marcia’s success in life is “Unworthiness.” Marcia mistakenly thought that a college degree is the only standard of success by which she will be judged in life. Certainly, there are some jobs that require a college degree. But, in Marcia’s case, she is a talented marketing representative who gets results. She has a good track record. These are skills that most companies want in an employee regardless of their formal education. But, Marcia had convinced herself that no one would hire her without a college degree. I told Marcia that she would be no worse off if she contacted other law firms, sent them her resume, interviewed with them for a job, and didn’t get hired. In other words, she had everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying.

By appealing to Marcia’s negative belief s and limiting values (“I’ve got nothing to lose by sending out my resume!”), I was able to convince her to send her resume to five law firms that enjoyed excellent reputations as outstanding employers. Within two weeks, two law firms contacted Marcia and interviewed her. The happy ending is that last week Marcia politely quit her job and accepted a new marketing position that now pays her more and gives her more responsibility. Marcia’s self-esteem is higher and she now feels valued. At the same time, Marcia is continuing to work on undoing many of the negative beliefs that inhibit her success. She realizes that it does her no good to change jobs while continuing to carry the same negative beliefs and limiting values that held her back in life. It’s a challenge, but Marcia’s making significant progress.

2. Define Your Own Success in Life. It’s astonishing to talk with people and learn that the reason they never tried to achieve their life dream is because someone told them that it wasn’t possible! Regrettably, the worse offenders are usually those persons we love and respect the most -- our parents, siblings, teachers, relatives, and ministers. Understandably, much of my Baby Boomer generation grew-up with parents who survived the Great Depression in the 1920s and ‘30s. Thus, their beliefs and values were couched in scarcity not abundance. On the other hand, they did give us such wonderful values as generosity and helping others. But, the mindset of scarcity thinking caused many Baby Boomers to needlessly abandon their dreams and aspirations. Instead of pursuing our dreams and goals, many of us conformed to the ways of the silent majority and punched the clock at routine jobs.

During The Course of 10,000 Days retreats, we spend a considerable amount of time helping people redefine their life success plan and reconstruct their dreams. We build dream boards and talk about What If scenarios; and, what it takes to transition from the What Ifs to the What’s Next phase of life? The key is not to merely wish for something you want, but to set forth written action steps to achieve your goals and dreams. As one workshop participant recently told us, “I’ve watched The Secret fifteen times but I’m still not successful.” Well, The Secret is inspiring, but you need to get off the sofa and do something! Achieving success requires us to plan our work and work our plan.

3. Put Your Faith in You. When I grew up, action heroes like Superman, The Lone Ranger, and Davy Crockett inspired me. But, day by day, the harsh reality of life chipped away at my dreams and conditioned me to conform to society’s definition of success. I was told to believe not in myself, but in those institutions and organizations that would prepare me for the real world. It was well-intentioned advice, but not necessarily good advice. During an era of world wars, depressions, and social strife, my parent’s generation had little choice but to trust the views, teachings, and wisdom of their national government, the church, and educational institutions. Today, many of those same institutions have been corrupted and, in many respects, outlived their usefulness.

Our federal government has been engaged in a cunning campaign of lies and deceit for more than forty years in order to perpetuate its own survival and reckless global influence. Americans were misled to believe that war was vital for our national interest; that natural resources were plentiful and the environment was safe; and, the good life was still attainable for the masses as long as we did what the government told us to do. Politicians on both sides of the aisle continue to perpetuate this self-serving campaign of lies and deceit instead of telling citizens the truth. Why? Simply because many of our elected representatives have been corrupted by a system that fosters greed and power instead of putting the interests of its citizens first.

Many of the traditional religions are so scandal-ridden with sex abuse and fraud that they have lost much of their credibility with the Baby Boomer generation and our children. Even our education system is failing its students. Today, students can learn more from the Internet and their PlayStation games than in the classroom. Is it any wonder why kids are so bored in school and opt out?

I am witnessing firsthand the rise of a new and enlightened generation that is directly challenging the status quo. This generation believes the way it is, is not the way is should be in the future. They are bored with institutional learning and they are fed-up with educators who don’t deliver on the promise to make learning fun and inspiring. They’ve are questioning why they need to take mandated subjects if their passion lies elsewhere?

I am also finding that more youths are openly challenging the teachings of certain organizations that espouse such nonsensical beliefs as “Money is bad,” “Rich people are evil,” “You were born with Original Sin so you are imperfect,” and “It’s noble to be poor.” This victimization thinking is wrong; and, it is finally meeting stiff resistance among a new generation that is rejecting the call to conformity and compliance. No longer are a handful of inept leaders at the highest levels of government, religion, and education able to control and squander the dreams of another generation. This new generation is liberated and will go their own way while making decisions based on abundance, not scarcity thinking.

How interesting that the radical movements perpetuated by the Baby Boomers in the 1960s and ‘70s are returning in the guise of a spiritual quest that will allow us to revisit our dreams and create an Attitude of Abundance. Ironically, it is our children who are teaching us well this time around, not our failed institutional leaders who sold our early dreams down the river of hope.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation. He is the author of four books including 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is also a popular speaker at various conferences and meetings. For more information email him at tom@tomhinton.com

How to Become the Person You Want to Be

by Tom Hinton

Last week, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about our favorite seasons. As we stood on her patio watching the last remaining leaves fall from the naked trees, I commented that my favorite season was autumn. She countered by saying her favorite season was spring. “In springtime,” she told me, “everything comes alive. The sun is warm, the flowers bloom with reckless delight, the grass smells freshly mowed, and all of nature is alive and vibrant.”

“That’s true,” I noted, “but there can be no springtime until the autumn seeds fall to the ground and nature gives way to winter’s brutal cold.” As Stanley Horowitz said so beautifully, “winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting, and autumn a mosaic of them all.”

Like the changing seasons, life is a reflection of nature’s twisted contradictions. At a recent workshop I conducted on The Course of 10,000 Days, I reminded participants that -- like the changing seasons -- we, too, must go through a process of change and rejuvenation in order to transform our lives.

While nature does this naturally with the change of seasons, most people have a difficult time dealing with change and transforming themselves into the person they want to become.

But, in order to achieve our higher purpose and fulfill our dreams, we must experience the same transformation as the flowers that go dormant in winter only to return to their vibrant, colorful self in springtime. During winter, there appears to be no signs of life. But, deep within the plant’s roots, a new bloom is preparing to emerge. It is only through this process of change and rejuvenation that nature’s beauty reveals itself to us. As Gerald De Nerval said so poignantly, “Each flower is a soul opening out to nature.”

So, how can you transform yourself into the person you want to become? Here are five steps from The Course of 10,000 Days that I recommend you follow.

1. Dream Big. You cannot achieve anything you are not willing to become. So, dream big. Consider the impossible. What is it that you really want in life? Ironically, most people only pursue those things they think they can accomplish. They never dream big. Allow the vibrations of nature to change your thought process. See the universe as offering you opportunities for success instead of limiting you and holding you back. You’ll be amazed at how many things come your way when you dream big. And, remember, if you shoot for the stars, but only hit the moon, that’s still a pretty good shot!

2. Don’t Worry, Be Happy. There’s an old axiom that goes “worry is like paying interest on money you haven’t yet borrowed!” It’s true. Don’t be a worry wart. There’s a better way to approach life. Be happy. Stop worrying. You can’t control the universe, so why worry about it. Instead, be a possibility thinker and create solutions. You will attract good things into your life when you are happy.

3. Use Your Talents. So many people keep wishing and praying for things -- never realizing they already have most of what they need in some form. They just aren’t using their talents or accessing people in their lives who can help them achieve their dreams. Let me give you an example. My friend, Allen, is a talented writer who had a great idea for a novel. But, Allen procrastinated writing his novel for nearly two years. He told me he didn’t have enough time to write his book. But, I knew that wasn’t true because we all have the same amount of time. It’s merely a question of how we spend it. The real reason Allen postponed writing his novel was a fear of rejection by publishers. I told Allen he was rejecting his work before a publisher ever had a chance to review his brilliant writing. I coached Allen to write 250 words every day at a specific time and email me whatever he had written before he went to bed. It worked. Allen finished his novel in seven months and received several publishing offers. So, use your talents… or lose them!

4. Create Your Own Happiness. I constantly hear people tell me they are unhappy because of things they lack in life. For example, they complain about their job. They don’t get along with their partner or spouse. Their boss is a jerk. The list of excuses goes on and on. But, the reality is that we create our own happiness in life. Unfortunately, there is only one thing in this world that can bring you happiness -- you! The only way you can create happiness in your life is to look yourself in the mirror every morning and say, “This may be all I’ve got to work with, but today I’m going to use it to create happiness and success for myself.” And then, get out there and activate your potential. Don’t rely on anyone else to create your happiness in life. Remember, your happiness is up to you.

5. Believe in Yourself. I’ve often wondered how Thomas Edison remained positive in his efforts to invent the right carbon filament for his light bulb invention in 1879. Despite ten thousand failed experiments, Edison pushed on and eventually discovered the right formula. Edison dreamed big. He believed in himself and never gave up. Have you made the same commitment to yourself? No one else will believe in you until you believe in yourself. A good question to ask is this: What one thing must I do today to grow myself to the next level? Then, make the commitment to do that one thing. Believe in yourself and radiate that belief so that others will be attracted to you and support you.

Put these five steps to practice in the next 24 hours and you’ll begin to see amazing results in your life. Start living your next 10,000 days and create a life worth remembering.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation and the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings on the subjects of Leadership and Life Change. He can be reached at www.tomhinton.com or by email at tom@tomhinton.com

Getting Past Your Mid-life Crisis through the "Dreams to Action" List

During the past month, I've talked to a number of people who shared with me their trials and tribulations in life. I'm talking about divorce, child custody battles, layoffs, career changes, money problems, and a host of other hardships that are taking their toll on these good people. They all want to know, "what should I do?"

There's no simple answer that will fix all of life's problems. But, there are three questions I encourage people to ask themselves whenever they are up against a wall. Here they are:

1. What's the worst possible thing that can happen to you if "X" occurs?
2. If "X" occurs, what would you do then?
3. Is there something you have always wanted to do with your life but you were too afraid to "make that leap" because something or someone was holding you back? Could this be the right time to pursue your dream?

Throughout history, ordinary people have achieved extraordinary things when they were faced with a "do or die" situation. People like Churchill, Mother Teresa, and Gandhi, to name but a few. They overcame their challenges and achieved great things. So can you! There's a wonderful expression that goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

Now, you might say, "Well, I have a dream. I'd like to be an author or classical pianist, but I haven't developed the skills to achieve my dream." I would tell you that is "Scarcity Thinking." Change how you think. As my friend Jim Cathcart, one of America's most successful speakers and authors, who is renown for Relationship Selling and personal development suggests, "If you spend one hour a day for five years, you will be an expert in anything!" I agree. In fact, it might not even take that long. But, the sooner you begin the journey, the sooner you will achieve your dream and live the life you want.

Let me give you one more example. This morning, I was shopping at the neighborhood grocery store, when I spotted an older gentleman who was a member at my health club. He has been going there for about 16 months. When he first started coming to the club, he was in bad shape. He had trouble walking. He had suffered a debilitating stroke or medical setback. But, this morning, I almost didn't recognize him because he was walking upright, albeit slowly, but without the assistance of a walker or his wife, who usually accompanies him to the health club. I hadn't been there for a month due to my travel schedule, so I paused and said to him, "Wow, you look great. You've really made progress!" He smiled and said, "I just take it one day at a time."

One day at a time. What a great attitude! Someone once said that "God doles out life in increments we can handle." We get 24 hours in a day; sixty minutes in an hour; and, sixty seconds in every minute. So, my question is "what are you doing this very minute to get your life back on track and inch closer to your dream?"

No one else is going to live your life for you. No one else can get you through your mid-life crisis or current setback. Only you can do that. So, once your tears have dried and you catch your breath, go over to the kitchen table and begin your "Dreams to Action" List. Just write down the one thing you will do today (even if it's 10:30 pm and you're tired!) that will move you closer to your dream. Then do it... now! Put a check by that item before you go to bed. This is a very important step (writing it down) to achieving your dream.

Tomorrow morning when you wake-up, write down one more thing you will do that will move you closer to your dream; and then, act on it sometime before you go to bed. Be sure to carry your "Dreams to Action" list with you; and, look at it during the day to remind you to get it done.

This simple step will make a tremendous difference in your life and will help you achieve your dreams.

So, what are you waiting for?
Get over to that kitchen table or computer desk and start writing your "Dreams to Action" List!

And please, drop me an email at tom@tomhinton.com and let me know how it's going!

The Course of 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life

Author's Note:
We hope you enjoy this excerpt from Tom Hinton's new book entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. It will be published in 2009. For more information on The Course of 10,000 Days, please visit this Blog or our soon-to-be-website at www.10kdays.com after March 1, 2009

Chapter 1: My Introduction to The Course of 10,000 Days

There are moments in our life when a nurturing, internal force challenges us to reconcile our existence with a higher power. The nurturing force I am referring to is your Inner Spirit. It can so profoundly affect your Being that as a result of its positive influence and guidance you can change your thoughts, behaviors, actions, and life outcomes. The higher power I am referring to is the Divine Source, that universal energy that is omnipotent and all-loving. I know this to be true because this is the spiritual transformation I made as a result of completing The Course of 10,000 Days.

Oftentimes, an encounter with your Inner Spirit occurs when you are most vulnerable -- when you are struggling through life; when your relationships are broken or failing; when you are in financial trouble; or, the pressures of performing your job seem overwhelming. It is during these difficult and trying times that the Inner Spirit -- that quiet, spiritual dimension that balances your ego -- surfaces to gently nudge you towards your higher purpose in life and, in turn, true success and happiness.

When your Inner Spirit emerges it poses such unsettling questions as: Who am I? and, How do I give my life meaning and purpose? Like a blade of grass inching its way above the soil in search of sunlight and the earth’s nutrients, your Inner Spirit quietly persists until you answer its call.

It was during such a moment in my life that I was introduced to The Course of 10,000 Days. Although it happened several years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an unseasonably hot August evening in Southern California. The traffic was bumper-to-bumper from San Clemente to San Juan Capistrano. I glanced at my watch repeatedly wishing time would stand still for ten minutes because I was late for a dinner appointment with my friend and client, Ajay Shivani. It had been nearly a year since we last visited, and I was anxious to get to Laguna Beach to meet him.

The drive from San Diego to Laguna Beach, which normally takes 75 minutes, had dragged on for nearly two hours. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel and cursed the passing cars as I crept closer and closer to the Beach Cities off-ramp on Interstate 5 where I could finally exit the freeway. It wasn’t until I pulled into the Las Brisas restaurant parking lot that my breathing relaxed.

Despite arriving twenty minutes late, Ajay greeted me warmly and dismissed my lack of punctuality with a wave of his hand as he pointed to the majestic Pacific Ocean below. It felt good to be in the presence of a positive person who seemed to have not a worry in the world and truly loved life. There was an air of calmness about Ajay. His inner strength and self-confidence had a soothing effect on me. In an instant, he washed away my anxieties, calmed my mind, and engaged me in a conversation about the most inconsequential, but relaxing things. Ajay commented on the rhythm of the ocean waves as they crashed onto the beach. He observed the beauty of a single red rose in a blue vase that decorated Table 17 where we were seated. He also reminded me of the power of an appreciative smile, which he gave to each and every person who waited on our table.

During dinner, I shared with Ajay the stress and aggravation of managing my growing business and trying to satisfy demanding clients. Ajay listened quietly to my woes and then he told me an intriguing story about how his life had been transformed by a philosophy that he learned a few years earlier in India from a boyhood friend, Dr. Kavi Chavan. Ajay called it The Course of 10,000 Days, or simply, The Course. Ajay said The Course changed his life by helping him control his ego, reconnect with his Inner Spirit, discover his higher purpose, and achieve many of his life goals and dreams.

Towards the end of our dinner conversation, Ajay offered to teach me The Course of 10,000 Days. Ajay knew me well enough to know that I was at a critical point in my life. My Inner Spirit was trying to surface -- like that single blade of grass seeking sunlight -- and I could either respond to its call or allow my ego to hold me captive indefinitely. I also realized this, so I accepted Ajay’s offer.

Over the next three months, I studied and completed The Course of 10,000 Days. What I learned from Ajay and others on my journey is shared with you in these pages. The goal of The Course is to help you discover and live your higher purpose. Everything you will read and learn flows from this goal.

The Course consists of four phases:

1. Acceptance of Self. During this phase, you will examine your life by answering The Three Sacred Questions. Through this introspective process you will decide what you want to achieve during the next ten thousand days (27 years) of your life. Allow yourself to dream big. There are no limits.
2. Acceptance of Others. In this phase, you will review The Three Sacred Questions and cross over the Bridge of Forgiveness by forgiving those who have offended you and seeking forgiveness from those you have offended.
3. Acceptance of the Divine. This phase prepares you to enter The Kingdom of Roses by overturning the Four Stones that prevent your access to this spiritual state of grace where the inherent powers of the Divine Source and your higher purpose are revealed to you.
4. Embracing the Gift of Love. It is during this final phase that you celebrate your higher purpose by embracing your infinite powers and living the greatest of those powers, the gift of love, through your words and deeds. This is how you will discover grace, peace, and true happiness in your life.

I wrote this book to help those of us who are entering our Legacy Years (which I define in Chapter Two) and yearn for meaningful answers to life’s most difficult questions including what is my higher purpose in life and how do I live a life worth remembering? But, as I’ve conducted weekend retreats on The Course and counseled thousands of people who are seeking answers to the same questions I asked myself five years ago, I realize that these turning points in a person’s life are not defined by age, but rather, by timing. Whenever our Inner Spirit senses we will be receptive to its overtures, it surfaces and invites us to respond to its call. Sometimes, the invitation from our Inner Spirit comes to us in the disguise of stress, doubt, uncertainty, and fear. The reason for the disguise is to get our attention. Very few people hear the call of their Inner Spirit when things are going well and their ego is in control!

I also learned from The Course that many people falsely believe there is something wrong with them -- emotionally or spiritually -- because they have no spiritual relationship or feel their life is on the wrong track. I can tell you that -- with very few exceptions -- these are simply hurdles and challenges that every adult faces. The Course teaches us that there is a major difference between having something mentally or emotionally wrong with you and having a void in your life. The Course also teaches that the sooner you can satisfactorily answer those haunting questions that your Inner Spirit continues to ask of you, the sooner you will find purpose, peace, and passion in your life.

I have also written this book for those who are awakening from a period of spiritual deprivation and want to re-connect with their Inner Spirit in order to find purpose, peace, and passion in life. Perhaps, you are like me and yearn to make the journey to that special place that lies deep within you where life is more satisfying and rewarding. I can tell you -- having made the journey -- that it is a place everyone can reach. But, I must also tell you that it requires a personal commitment to become the person you dream about as well as deep introspection on your part to get there.

The Course of 10,000 Days is based on a simple life-balance philosophy that allows both your ego and Inner Spirit to work together in harmony to fulfill your dreams and live your higher purpose. While The Course is not aligned with any particular religion or philosophy, it compliments the life lessons we have learned from the greatest teachers and philosophers throughout the ages.

Ajay told me that on my journey of 10,000 Days I will repeatedly meet myself; and, every encounter will afford me a new opportunity for self-examination, truth, awareness, forgiveness, acceptance, growth, and inner peace. Each encounter will bring me closer to my ultimate destination, a spiritual place that The Course refers to as The Kingdom of Roses. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will discover your higher purpose and the secret to a life worth living. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will find that level of internal peace you have sought all these years. Having said this, The Course will test you intellectually and spiritually because it demands that you balance the four aspects of your total self -- Being, Thinking, Feeling, and Doing -- before you can enter The Kingdom of Roses. This is why The Course requires a serious commitment on your part to complete it.

As you embark on The Course of 10,000 Days, you will be asked to examine your life very carefully and truthfully. I can tell you that each question, exercise, and phase of The Course has been carefully developed and refined over many years. If you have doubts, as I did, I can only counsel you not to judge yourself or The Course prematurely. Instead, remind yourself this phase of your life is a journey of ten thousand days. As Ajay Shivani told me, “I spent fifty years allowing my ego to control my life and lead me by the nose. I decided to spend one hundred days mastering The Course to learn how to reconnect with my Inner Spirit so that I could finally give meaning and purpose to the rest of my life.”

It also took me about one hundred days to complete The Course because of my work and travel schedule. For most people, it will take considerably less time given the availability of Course workshops and weekend retreats. For some, the answers will appear more quickly than they did for me. For others, it might take longer. Don’t get frustrated. Be patient. Allow your Inner Spirit to surface and guide you through this rewarding process.

Although I now teach The Course, I am always trying to improve myself and live-up to the commitments I made as a student of The Course. There are times when living The Course demands all my patience -- and then some. I can also tell you that despite my best intentions to be the person I truly want to become, I still fall short. But, I know in my heart I am a better person today than I was yesterday. Also, I am much closer to achieving my life goals because I am living my higher purpose every day and allowing my Inner Spirit to surface more often and guide me to that Universal Truth we all seek -- acceptance of self and existing in a state of peace and love.

While I cannot promise you that The Course will answer all your questions, I can tell you this. You will discover your higher purpose and you will begin the transformation from the person you are now to the person you want to become. How you act on your discoveries and decide to change your life is up to you. For me, The Course opened my heart to new possibilities and pathways. It also taught me how to be more patient, forgiving, loving, understanding with others, and tolerant of people’s views, personalities, behaviors, and emotionally-charged responses.

This transformation did not come easy for me. In fact, my ego fought me every step of the way. But, with Ajay’s help and the guidance and counsel of others who have mastered The Course, I persisted and found the keys that opened the doors to The Kingdom of Roses and gave my life purpose, peace, and passion.

The Course of 10,000 Days also taught me kindness. I am not as harsh or judgmental as I used to be. Now, I am more accepting of people. When someone cuts me off on the freeway, or steps into the airport security line ahead of me, I graciously let them in. I refrain from judging them. I just allow it to happen. When a homeless person approaches me on the street and asks me for some spare change, I give what I can without judging their motive or needs. I also make sure the gardener has a cold bottle of water on a hot summer day. I also leave a few dollars on my pillow for the hotel housekeepers as an extra “thank you” for their service. I did not used to do these things. It wasn’t because I was cheap. It was because I was ego-driven. I was into myself instead of responding from my Inner Spirit. Through The Course I learned a powerful lesson. The ego does not respond with acts of love. The ego only responds to self-gratification and self-preservation. It cannot comprehend love as an act of giving and kindness because such acts are counter to self-gratification and self-preservation which feed the ego. The ego can be infatuated, but it cannot love. Only your Inner Spirit can love.

Let me share with you one experience that helped me understand how my Inner Spirit guided me and transformed me. I was new to The Course. I had been studying it for only three weeks when I checked into a hotel in Memphis on a September afternoon. It was a hot, humid day. I was tired from my trip and ringing with sweat from the humidity and stifling heat that engulfed the Mississippi region that summer.

As I walked down the hotel corridor towards my guest room, I had to maneuver my luggage past a housekeeper’s cart that was blocking the hallway. My initial response was one of irritation because I couldn’t get past the housekeeper’s cart without pushing it aside. As I walked by the open guest room, I spotted an older Hispanic woman on her hands and knees scrubbing out the bathtub and cleaning the tile floor. It was her housekeeper cart that was blocking the hallway. We made eye contact and, for some reason, she reminded me of my mother. Suddenly, she looked at me with her kind eyes and smiled. She said to me in her second language, English, “Hello, sir, can I help you?”

I quickly regained my composure and asked her if she would be cleaning my guest room? She got up off her hands and knees and said to me, “Oh, yes sir. Do you have any special requests for me, like extra towels or shampoo?” I was so touched by her personal commitment to service that I reached into my wallet and gave her ten dollars. I said to her, “No, I just want you to know that I appreciate all your hard work.” She smiled and said to me, “Oh, bless you, sir. You are very kind. Thank you, sir,” and returned to the bathroom where she dropped to her knees and continued scrubbing out the bathtub.

I walked a short distance down the corridor and went inside my room. As I closed the door behind me, tears welled up in my eyes because I realized that this woman, who made her living scrubbing bathroom floors and cleaning hotel guest rooms, had a more generous heart than I did. I felt like a jerk even though I never said anything unkind to her. But, my intention was to reprimand her for something as trivial as blocking the corridor with her cart that it made me stop and ask myself, ‘Is this how I treat others?’ It made me realize that I was the lesser person and, in those moments when I allowed my ego to dictate my first response or put my selfish needs ahead of others, I was not living The Course or honoring my commitments to practice what Ajay had taught me. It was at that moment that my Inner Spirit surfaced once again and asked me a series of penetrating questions. I did not have any good answers except to admit that I was flawed, selfish, and unhappy with who I was and how I treated others.

Although I had been studying The Course for only a month, this was the defining moment when I made the conscious decision to change my thoughts, behaviors, actions, and outcomes. From that moment on I resolved to give my very best to each and every person I met. I also resolved to find a positive, kind word to say to people and not talk down to them or criticize them. No longer would I bitch and moan about the terrible trifles of life. As the song goes, I decided to accentuate the positive and see the ninety percent that people get right instead of the ten percent that we botch! Again, this is difficult to do on a consistent basis. But, I’m getting better at it with each passing day.

As a result of my encounter with that housekeeper and my Inner Spirit, I began to take small steps to consciously change my behavior and actions. I started with simple acts of kindness and forgiveness. For example, I stopped honking my car horn at other drivers and started to accept the many situations -- both pleasant and unpleasant -- that life-on-the-highway hurls at me.

As the bumper sticker reads, ‘Stuff Happens!’ Now, I just smile, shake my head, recite my personal mission statement to remain in a positive frame of mind, and I move on. I let go of those minor inconveniences and moments of stupidity by others. Years ago, a friend once asked me when I became angry over an annoying airport parking space dispute, “Is it worth suffering a heart attack over?” The answer is ‘no, it’s not!’ So, now, I try not to sweat the small stuff. Is it hard for me to do? Yes, absolutely! But, if I’m conscious and present in the moment, I can control my reaction and create a different response -- one that is positive and uplifting. I’ve learned to take time to stop and smell the roses in life. Part of this is due to the fact that I now see the roses whereas, before completing The Course, I never saw them! They were a blur as I raced through life. I was so busy trying to get to the future I forgot to live in the now! As I completed The Course I learned the importance of slowing down to enjoy life and experiencing it. The Course calls it living-in-purpose. How appropriate because discovering and living our higher purpose is our ultimate goal in life!

I understand that many people are struggling with serious problems and demons in their life. But, the solutions are the same regardless of your challenges. For me, these changes represented a major mind-shift in becoming the person I wanted to become. Before, whenever I was confronted with an emotionally-charged decision or choice -- to get upset with someone or, instead, manage a smile and say something pleasant -- I allowed my emotions to dictate my first response. Usually, my response was negatively charged and unfriendly as I lashed out at others. That only made matters worse. Now, I consciously choose to follow my Inner Spirit instead of my ego. I use the techniques I learned in The Course to control my temper and emotions. Now, in my thoughts and actions, I consciously try to be more understanding, kind, honest, and fair with people and myself. I want to attract success and happiness into my life. While I am far from perfect, and every day I make mistakes, I am conscious of my higher purpose and strive to live it every moment of every day.

Perhaps, the most significant discovery I made in completing The Course was recognizing the unlimited power of my Inner Spirit. Since I experienced this breakthrough, I have been able to accomplish much more with half the effort. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish when your Inner Spirit is guiding you -- instead of your ego -- and you are living your higher purpose. Doors will open for you and life will be better! Throughout this book, I will share with you the secret for unleashing the powers of your Inner Spirit and achieving your dreams and goals.

Let me digress for a moment to discuss the inherent conflicts between our ego and Inner Spirit. Through The Course, I discovered how my ego had quietly seized control of my life and the decisions I made. It was recognizable in small ways. For example, I found myself arguing and needing to be right which made other people wrong. I was judgmental and held onto grudges for a long time. I assessed blame and I resented certain people who had wronged me. While I was not hostile, I was short-tempered and insensitive to others’ feelings. Many times I acted without love in my heart.

In the process of surrendering my mind and emotions to my ego, I continued to unknowingly suppress my Inner Spirit. As I became aware of this fact I was able to change my thoughts, control my emotions, and alter the outcome of certain situations. I was elevated to a higher consciousness and this process helped me discover how to create a balance between my ego and Inner Spirit. It also helped me build lasting relationships, experience love, find peace, and create happiness in life. These are the things that truly matter in life. Just about everything else is simply the ‘stuff of life’ and inconsequential as I learned from The Course.

Finally, I have learned that while we are all teachers, we are also all students. The Course of 10,000 Days will require you to spend time learning about yourself and reflecting on the life you want to live. It will ask you to open your mind and heart to exciting, new possibilities. It will seduce you with the simple pleasures of life that you’ve ignored for so many years. And, it will ask you to let go of those things which you have no control over. The Course will also challenge you to eliminate certain people and behaviors from your life that are toxic and keep you from living your higher purpose. This includes the Old You that labels you as the Victim of Circumstances and harbors grudges, anger, and resentment towards yourself and others! It is through this awakening and discovery process, which is the foundation of The Course, you will transform yourself and achieve your greatest dreams and deepest desires. I tell you it is all possible because I have seen its power work, not only for me, but many others. But, it will require you to make some significant changes in how you choose to live your life -- the same challenges that Ajay and I were required to make.

I wish you peace and success on your journey to discovering your higher purpose and reconnecting with your Inner Spirit. I know that The Course of 10,000 Days will answer many of life’s most challenging and difficult questions for you as it did for me. But, most importantly, The Course will help you create the life you want to live and strengthen your relationships, bring you closer to achieving your goals and dreams, and enrich you in many ways.

I invite you to begin your journey now and discover the secret to purpose, peace and passion in your life. Through The Course, you will finally realize what an extraordinary person you are and how to live your next ten thousand days in harmony and happiness.

For more information on The Course of 10,000 Days please contact: tom@tomhinton.com