by Tom Hinton
About the Author: Tom Hinton is one of America’s most respected authors and speakers on Personal Growth, Work-Life Balance and Achieving Your Human Potential. He is the author of four books including: 10,000 Days: The Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life which is available on www.Amazon.com For information, contact: tom@tomhinton.com
At a recent workshop, I was asked by a 51 year-old participant if he could ever find true happiness? My answer startled him as well as the other participants in the room. I said, “Probably not.”
There was a nervous laughter and everyone waited for my next line. But I said nothing and started to move on to my next point. An anxious, almost desperate look filled the participants’ eyes as they looked at me hoping for a more elaborate, encouraging statement. I waited a long moment to let the uneasiness settle inside the pit of everyone’s stomach, and then I asked the all-important question. “Why are you asking me if true happiness is possible? Is that not your responsibility? Who is in control of your life right now? Is it me, or is it you?” It was an ah-ha moment not only for many of the participants, but also myself. I realized that most people are dependent on someone else or something else for their happiness.
There was a nervous laughter and everyone waited for my next line. But I said nothing and started to move on to my next point. An anxious, almost desperate look filled the participants’ eyes as they looked at me hoping for a more elaborate, encouraging statement. I waited a long moment to let the uneasiness settle inside the pit of everyone’s stomach, and then I asked the all-important question. “Why are you asking me if true happiness is possible? Is that not your responsibility? Who is in control of your life right now? Is it me, or is it you?” It was an ah-ha moment not only for many of the participants, but also myself. I realized that most people are dependent on someone else or something else for their happiness.
When you choose to be truly happy, that is when happiness begins. The primary reason someone is unhappy is because their approach to life is all wrong. We depend on someone else or something else for our happiness. In that case, you will never be truly happy. For the source of true happiness will not be found in riches, your ideal job or in the arms of another person. True happiness lies within each and every one of us. It requires us to move beyond life’s drudgery, impatience, bitterness and the negativity we experience every day; and, replace those moments with gratitude for life and the gifts you possess. When you choose to be happy, it is at that moment that true happiness begins.
So, is it possible to find true happiness? Yes, but it requires a different approach than the one most people use. It requires you to focus on those things that make you happy. It requires you to begin now if you want to be happy at this moment. You cannot be happy and irritated at the same time. You cannot be happy and hold grudges or withhold love from someone. You cannot be bitter and also claim to be happy. You cannot expect everything to go smoothly in life and when it doesn’t curse the world, but also claim to be happy
Yes, you can have happy moments, but that is different from experiencing true happiness. True happiness occurs when you have peace of mind and your heart is filled with gratitude and love. True happiness is knowing that you are not dependent on anything or anyone else for your state of being. When we arrive at this point, we can begin to know true happiness.
