The Course of 10000 Days

Finding the Life Balance between Fulfillment and Success

2012-01-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

At a recent corporate workshop I facilitated on Work-Life Balance, a senior executive with the company asked me a tough question. Our exchange went something like this. “I’ve been working here for the past 30 years. I’m now 55, and even though I have a senior management position in this company, and make good money, and I’ve traveled the world, I don’t feel successful. What’s missing in my life?”

Although we had never met before, I reflected on his question for a moment and then replied, “I think sometimes we confuse success with fulfillment and happiness. It seems you have all the trappings of success, but what appears to be missing in your life is a sense of fulfillment.” He nodded affirmatively and encouraged me to expound on my answer. I did; and, here’s what I shared with the participants at that workshop.

One of the questions The Course of 10,000 Days encourages us to answer is the following: “How much happiness am I willing to forego in order to achieve success?” This is a tough question for us because we’re used to having it all without having to sacrifice anything. But, the truth is success comes with a price.

We all know people who are very successful, but are miserable. They have lots of money, power and fame, but few real friends. They have rank and privilege, but no one really loves them for who they really are. This is the dilemma that many – but not all --successful people face. Why?

The Course of 10,000 Days explains it this way. Before you seek success, you should first create abundance in your life. Only when you experience the blessings of life, true happiness and peace-of-mind can you enjoy success. Too often, we measure success in terms of the ego’s needs – money, power, fame, prestige and all the trappings that success can buy us. But, abundance is rooted not in material things, but in those things that allow us to be truly happy and experience peace-of-mind. Under such circumstances, we could experience abundance and still be earning minimum wage. Abundance is achieved not through our ego, but rather, our Inner Spirit. Thus, it is our Inner Spirit that we must turn to in order to find those things that create happiness and peace-of-mind in our life. Our ego does not care about such things. It only enjoys the trappings of success. But, such things do not satisfy the human spirit for long. This is why we yearn for something more permanent, more satisfying. And, that something is abundance in our life.

While The Course of 10,000 Days embraces the motto, “Ask and you shall succeed!” it teaches us that in order to attain true success, we must ask our Inner Spirit, not our ego.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is the author of the new best-seller: 10,000 Days: The Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life. Tom is one of America’s most respected authors and speakers on Work-Life Balance, Personal Development and Human Excellence in the Workplace. To order 10,000 Days, visit: http://www.amazon.com/10-000-Days-Rest-Your/dp/0983503214/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1326344004&sr=1-1 or contact Tom at: tom@tomhinton.com

The Wheel of Life: Wellness

2011-11-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

Author’s Note:
This is the second in a series of eight articles that focus on the eight elements in the Wheel of Life, which I discuss in my book, 10,000 Days: The Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life! The eight elements are: Spirituality, Relationships, Environment, Career, Money, Wellness, Romance, and Fun & Recreation.

Last week I began this series with an article on Environment. This week I focus on Wellness.

When facilitating The Course of 10,000 Days retreats, I like to ask participants to define their state of Wellness. Interestingly, nearly every participant responds in terms of their physical state of well-being. Some will tell me they need to lose weight. Others will advise me that they are recuperating from an operation, a serious illness or fighting an addiction. But, oddly enough, very few people ever mention their mental, emotional or spiritual well-being as part of their Wellness formula.

In an era when health care is dominated by our physical aspects, we tend to forget that Wellness involves much more. The Course of 10,000 Days defines Wellness as “a multi-dimensional state of well-being in which you enjoy a positive physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balance, thus allowing you to live your life to its fullest.” Using this definition, the significance of Wellness becomes much more apparent in how we achieve purpose, peace and happiness in our life.

Not only is Wellness multi-dimensional, but it is also sub-dimensional. The National Wellness Institute, which has done an excellent job in researching this topic, advocates six sub-areas of Wellness. They are: Social, Occupational, Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual and Emotional Wellness. I encourage you to visit their website to read the definitions of each of these six sub-areas. It is: http://www.nationalwellness.org

The Course of 10,000 Days encourages us to take Wellness seriously. Many of us know family members or close friends who have died prematurely or their quality of life is suffering because they did not take care of themselves physically or mentally. These are the two dominant categories of Wellness. But, in order to achieve a state of Wellness in accordance with the definition used by The Course of 10,000 Days, it’s vital that we pay attention to all six sub-dimensions of Wellness. As the Wellness Institute suggests, “We may not all be physically fit or free from disease; we can, however, strive for increased wellness by working with what we’ve been dealt.”

Dr. Leif Livingheart, a brilliant physician who leads Life Transformation retreats in Spain, tells us, “Wellness is not merely the absence of illness. It is also your ability to create a positive physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balance, thus allowing you to live your life to its fullest.” I agree with Dr. Livingheart’s assessment because our life-systems are inter-connected and, therefore, can sustain or disrupt each other. For example, if we’re emotionally distraught, that will affect our physical and mental dispositions. So, this is why we believe it’s important for people to make the mental transition from “avoiding illness” to “living life to its fullest!”

Here are a few ways you can practice Wellness.

* BAG It. Every morning as you awake, practice the “BAG It” exercise. Think of three Blessings you have in your life, and three Accomplishments you've completed in the past 24 hours. Then, set three Goals you will achieve in the next 24 hours. It's very powerful and when you awake tomorrow, today's Goals become tomorrow's Accomplishments!
* Move. It’s tough to exercise every day unless you’re a dedicated gym rat, but you can get some exercise by parking farther away from your office door, taking the stairs instead of the building elevator, or enjoying a lunchtime stroll around the block. If you sit at a desk all day, you need to counter that inertia by moving at least 20-30 minutes every work day. Also, if you're active on a keyboard, take 5 minutes every hour to flex your fingers and palms to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome which causes damage to your median nerve in the palms and forearms.
* Fast. For most people, weight control is a matter of moving more and eating less. That’s very difficult for most of us, so we need to consciously choose to eat less, and simply change what we eat. Losing weight is primarily about how many calories we shove into mouth every day as well as the types of food we eat. So, here are a few proven ideas attendees who lost weight shared at The Course of 10,000 Days Weekend Retreat: skip breakfast; absolutely no “whites [salt, bread, sugar, dairy] during the work week; eat salads three times a week with light dressings; eat fish twice a week; include vegetables at least three times a week instead of French fries or chips; eat boiled food instead of fried foods; drink sparkling water or ice tea, and avoid sodas and juices that are loaded with sugar. do this and watch the pounds drop off you! But, remember, you also have to "Move!"
* Meditate. Don’t confuse meditation with prayer or having to go to church. Meditation is simply closing your eyes for 20-30 minutes a few times each week and allowing you mind to rest. Lay down on the bed or the living room floor and dim the lights. Sometimes, spa-type music can help you enter that state of calm and relaxation. This exercise will quiet your mind and help you relax, let go of today’s problems and reduce your stress levels. You'll be amazed at how refreshed you are when you're done.
* Set Goals. Set a few small goals for yourself every day. This could be part of your BAG It exercise mentioned earlier. By setting goals, you will continuously push yourself to aim at something you want to accomplish. In this way, you’ll always be striving to accomplish the goals you set. And, remember Dr. Ken Blanchard's goal setting formula for setting SMART Goals, which means: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time certain.

I can guarantee you that if you’ll do these few things, your state of Wellness will improve. And, the healthier you are, the happier you will be. As always I look forward to your feedback. Let me know what works best for you.

About the Author. Tom Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: The Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life! that is now available as an eBook or paperback at: www.Amazon.com Tom is a popular speaker on Work-Life Balance and Personal Growth topics. He also facilitates The Course of 10,000 Days retreat workshops. Contact: tom@tomhinton.com

The Wheel of Life

2011-11-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

This article is the first in a series of eight by author Tom Hinton on the Wheel of Life

I realize it’s only November, but many people have asked me this question: “What can I do now to jump-start some of the positive changes I want to make in my life for next year?”

It’s a great question and here’s my response. Over the next eight weeks, I’ll be posting a series of eight brief articles that focus on each of the 8 elements in the Wheel of Life. Since I’ve been teaching The Course of 10,000 Days for the past six years, it’s become clear that the primary concerns and issues facing people are related to one or more elements in their Wheel of Life. So, together, we’ll explore these eight elements and, hopefully, shed some insight to help you move forward by making your next 10,000 days significant!

But, first, here’s some background on the Wheel of Life. Legend has it that the Buddha himself created the first depiction of the Wheel of Life -- or Bhavacakra -- as it’s referred to in Buddhism. The original Wheel of Life design adorns most Buddhist Temples.

Over the centuries, this concept has evolved to take on many different interpretations. For example, the version created by The Course of 10,000 Days equates eight equally important elements to its Wheel of Life. In no particular order, they are: Spirituality, Relationships, Environment, Career, Money, Wellness, Romance, and Fun & Recreation.

This article will focus on Environment. When we use the term Environment in The Course of 10,000 Days, we mean the following: What is the living, working, cultural and growth environment you currently exist in?

What’s fascinating to me is that 99% of the people who enroll in The Course of 10,000 Days have never given a moment’s thought to this aspect of their lives. Ironically, it isn’t until we think about retirement that the issue of Environment even surfaces. And, frankly, most people define Environment as “where they want to live when they retire.” But, this is only one aspect of Environment. The bigger picture must take into consideration not only where you live, but also where you work, the people you associate with, your ability to grow and develop as a person and spiritual being, and your ability to spend time developing your talents and gifts. Now you can see why Environment is so critical to one’s success in life and our ability to achieve life balance.

So, here’s your assignment for this week. Take a sheet of paper and turn it sideways (landscape version). Across the top of the page, draw five columns and label each one as follows: Where I Live; Where I Work; People I Associate With; My Ability to Grow; and, How I Spend my Time.

Then, in each of the columns, write your responses to the following questions:
• What are the positive aspects of __________ [where I live, where I work, etc.]?
• What are the negative aspects of __________ [where I live, where I work, etc.]?
• What steps can I take in the next 30 days to change the negative to a positive in each of these five areas?
• What action will I take today (or the next 24 hours) to implement that change?

Here’s an example of how one 52 year-old female student at The Course of 10,000 Days Weekend Retreat responded to the question: “Where I Live?”

-- Positive Aspects include: close to my 84 year-old mother; it’s where I work; I have a small circle of friends; I’ve lived here 33 years and know the area including shops, bank, and my church; I enjoy the four seasons.

-- Negative Aspects include: it’s cold and dreary in the winter (Midwest USA) and it’s humid in the summer; I stay indoors too much because of the weather and don’t exercise; I have a job but I’m not advancing in terms of pay or position; very little culture other than a movie theater in my small town; my two best friends are approaching retirement and talking about moving to Florida; my church is in turmoil because of sex scandal issues with a former minister; my company has laid off 12% of its 400 employees and I feel insecure in this job and economy; my two sisters live near Atlanta with their kids; I feel obligated to care for Mom since I’m the only sibling still living in the same town where we grew up; I'm single and there's very little social life or privacy in a small town.

-- Steps I Can Take in the Next 30 Days include: I’m going to start researching new places to live in Florida or Georgia; I’m going to talk to Mom about relocating; I’m going to update my resume and put out some feelers. I’m going to tell my sisters I’ve decided to relocate as soon as possible, which they’ve encouraged me to do.

-- What Actions will I take Today? I will talk to Mom at lunch today about the benefits of moving to a warmer climate near her daughters and four grandchildren; I will update my resume; I will Google similar companies in my industry to see who is hiring.

There’s a great expression we use in The Course of 10,000 Days that goes like this: Nothing happens until you commit to doing something and then act! What this exercise will help you do is simply that – commit to doing something and then act.

While your situation is different and unique, no one is hopeless or helpless. You can do something to improve your life and take steps to make the rest of your life, the best of your life! So, start now by evaluating your Environment!

About the Author. Tom Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: The Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life! that is now available as an eBook or paperback at: www.Amazon.com Tom is a popular speaker on Work-Life Balance and Personal Growth topics. He also facilitates The Course of 10,000 Days retreat workshops. Contact: tom@tomhinton.com

You Can Do Something!

2011-02-03T21:50:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

Recently, at a weekend retreat I facilitated on The Course of 10,000 Days, I asked attendees the following question. “Tell me one thing you can do right now to improve your life and start to get the results you desire?” This question is designed to get people thinking about taking that all-important next step to create change in their lives and achieve their goals.

Invariably, this question meets resistance from some attendees who are so stuck in their own velvet rut that they cannot climb out of it. For example, some attendees are stuck in life because they lost a spouse, a family member or a dear friend. For others, their self-esteem has suffered a serious blow because they lost their job or their home as a result of tough economic times. Still, there are some who are so consumed with anger and resentment towards an ex-spouse or boss that they’ve never been able to get past it. Regardless of the reason, the fact remains that we get stuck in life because we fail to accept the fact that we have the power to change our life, move forward and live our dreams.

This is what The Course of 10,000 Days is all about. It’s a process by which we confront the demons in our life and learn how to quiet our ego so our Inner Spirit can surface and guide us to our destiny. For, it is through our Inner Spirit that we create our greatest outcomes in life. No one should have to live their life according to someone else's terms. We have the power to create our own outcomes. We have the power to achieve our own destiny. This is what makes us unique and transforms ordinary people into extraordinary human beings.

And so, when you are asked the question — “Tell me one thing you can do right now to improve your life and start to get the results you desire?” — your answer can be as simple as “I will think positive thoughts about myself.” Or, “I will believe in my own goals and dreams.” Or, “I will start to research my pet project, or read a book, or accept the fact that I can do something today – even if it is taking a baby step in the right direction – to move my life forward.”

For each of us, the answer to the question will be different. What matters is that you must be able to answer the question – and answer it with conviction; then, act on whatever it is you said you would do. It is in this way cathedrals have been built – one stone at a time. It is the same way Walt Disney created Disneyland and America was founded and grew, and man was able to land on the moon. Nothing is impossible, but you must believe in yourself and be willing to do something right now to move your life forward. Even if that something is a small step forward.

So, let me ask you once again, “Tell me one thing you can do right now to improve your life and start to get the results you desire?”

About the Author: Tom Hinton is the author of the new book entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life, which will be available March 11th on www.tomhinton.com Tom is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings on such topics as Leadership, Creating your Legacy and Achieving Your Life Goals. He can be reached at tom@tomhinton.com

The Egyptian Lesson: What Consumer-Citizens of the World Really Want

2011-02-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

It’s both disturbing and encouraging to see the strife taking place in Egypt and Tunisia. In America, we take for granted so many of our basic rights and entitlements that are causing millions of citizens to take to the streets in protest of the policies of their authoritarian governments. It’s disturbing because the very rights and opportunities these people are demanding are basic economic building blocks that every citizen should enjoy regardless of where they live or the religion they practice – freedom of speech, the opportunity to live in an economic environment that offers hope for a better life, and the right to assemble without being shot or attacked by armed thugs operating under the guise of self-serving politicians.

What is playing out in Egypt and Tunisia is also encouraging because the voice of the people is finally being heard. And, it is being heard not only in the streets, but within the inner sanctums of every repressive government around the world.

Some commentators have suggested the Arab uprisings are being fueled by fanatics and religious extremists. There’s little, if any, evidence to support such claims. I believe these protests are the result of frustrated consumers who see unlimited economic opportunities in neighboring countries and throughout western societies. Unfulfilled, exasperated and without any chance to climb the economic ladder of success, these well-intentioned protesters are asking a basic human question of their tyrannical leaders: “Why can’t we enjoy the good life?” Not only is it a fair question, but one that every government should respond to or face defeat. But, governments that exploit their citizenry don’t believe they need to answer such questions because they are not in the business of lifting-up the masses. They’re in the business of suppressing human and economic rights and controlling citizens in brutal fashion.

This is why leaders like ousted Tunisian President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali and Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak do not remain in power. People will only tolerate so much before they take to the streets. What is happening in Egypt and Tunisia are consumer-citizens demanding the same economic opportunities afforded to a handful of people in their country and the chance to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Certainly, that is a fair demand.

No nation’s leadership can suppress the population forever and outlast the will of its people. This is why I believe there is still great economic hope for the people of Iran, North Korea, Libya, Myanmar, North Korea, Somalia, China, Sudan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. As we have seen in Egypt, it only takes a few thousand people to ignite the flames of economic freedom and bring about significant constitutional change as well as new political leadership.

In this era of social networking and instant global communication, it’s not surprising that on a Friday afternoon, a handful of well-intentioned thought leaders tweet or Facebook their friends to rally in the main square and, by Sunday afternoon, ministers are resigning and corrupt leaders are making plans to flee the country.

Frankly, it’s consumerism at its best!

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular speaker and author on personal development and creating a lasting legacy. He can be reached at tom@tomhinton.com

Regina Brett's 45 Life Lessons

2011-01-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

Every now and then, I'm fortunate to stumble across something special -- words of wisdom that inspire me and put life in perspective. Here's a beautiful piece written By Regina Brett, a 54-year old columnist for Cleveland's The Plain Dealer newspaper.
I hope you enjoy it and pass it on to those who need a smile today.
Tom Hinton

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me... It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ’In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions -- Finally!

2011-01-07T12:41:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

If you’re like most people, you probably spent a few minutes during the holidays thinking about the new year and making several resolutions. And, if you’re like most people, you’ve already broken most of your New Year’s resolutions. Although we’re well-intentioned, it’s very difficult to honor our words and promises. Why is that? After all, who doesn’t want to get healthy, quit smoking or drinking, lose weight, spend more time with family and friends, get out of debt, travel and enjoy life more fully?

You would think these types of resolutions would be easy to embrace and follow. But, the harsh reality is most New Year’s resolutions require more from us than just verbalizing a statement of intent. My experience has been that setting goals is a simple process, but staying on track and honoring our resolutions is anything but easy! Why? Well, for starters, most of us are poor planners. As the saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.” So, you need to have a plan.

Here’s a three-step plan to help you honor your words and promises and keep your New Year’s resolutions.

Step 1. Write down your goals. Someone once quipped that the difference between a wish and a goal is that goals are written while wishes remain a figment of our imagination. I am a firm believer that resolutions and goals need to be written down if we intend to achieve them. So, the first step, is to simply write down each resolution in the form of a SMART goal – that is, each goal must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time certain.

For example, let’s say you want to get in shape and start exercising. Your goal should be written as follows: I exercise 5 days each week for 30 minutes or longer by walking, bike riding, going to the gym or doing calisthenics. I mark my calendar each day after I complete my exercise routine to measure my success. Now, there’s a goal that meets the SMART test!

Step 2. Enlist someone to help you achieve your goals. There’s an old saying, “Two heads are better than one.” When it comes to goal-setting, one of the best techniques I have found is to enlist the help of a friend, spouse or family member who has a similar goal. Use the buddy system to support each other. This is particularly powerful when it comes to achieving goals like exercise, diets, work projects or finally writing your first novel!

Step 3. Get Results. Another quote that comes to mind is this one. “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me!” There will always be hurdles and challenges that block your path to success. But, remember, you alone are responsible for your success. You alone must remove those barriers if you want to go forward. You need to get results. John Lennon, the late Beatle, once quipped that “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” It’s true! You need to be alert to disruptions and guard your personal time so you can achieve your goals. This is how you get results. And, remember, it’s okay to tell friends you can’t join them after work for a beer because you have a prior commitment – the fitness center. It’s okay to order fruit for dessert when everyone else is gorging themselves on cheesecake! And, when your exercise partner can’t make it, don’t quit. Put on your sneakers and go for a long walk by yourself. Don’t make excuses and don’t ever give yourself permission to fail.

Most of us set New Year’s resolutions and goals because we want to improve our lives. We want to become the person we dream about. However, what we forget is that setting goals and resolutions requires us to change something – a behavior, a thought process, certain values or old beliefs – that keep us from becoming that person we dream about. So, change is also part of the equation for achieving your goals.

Here are three steps you can take to deal with change in your life.

First, you must prepare yourself -- mentally and emotionally, for change. You cannot just walk into a sea of change and expect to swim. Most change consists of whitewater and treacherous rapids. Seldom is the sea of change calm. Changing your beliefs, values and behavior requires some degree of mental and physical preparation if you really expect to achieve your goals.

Secondly, you must identify the barriers that keep you from changing your life and resolve to overcome those barriers. Make up your mind that you will change that part of you that heretofore has resisted lasting change or improvement. For example, you cannot quit smoking if you continue to buy cigarettes. You cannot stop drinking if you continue to buy booze and bring it home. These types of actions and behaviors must stop if you want to achieve your goals. You must resolve to give up those behaviors that undermine your success. Once you take positive action, the chances of achieving success will increase dramatically. Frankly, it’s not rocket science, It’s as simple as 1-2-3.

Finally, expect setbacks. No one is perfect. We all stumble from time to time. So, when you stumble, get back on your feet and move forward. If you miss a day of exercising, resolve to add a make-up day at the gym. If you sneak a cigarette, be aware that you are undermining your goal of quitting and don’t finish it. Throw it away after a few puffs. Reset the clock and start again. But, be sure to note what caused you to stumble so you can train your mind and emotions not to falter for the same reason the next time that temptation or excuse rears its ugly head. You have to resolve to be stronger than the excuse. Otherwise, you’ll never achieve your goals.

It’s tough starting off the new year with several well-intentioned resolutions but lacking the confidence to see them through to fruition. Hopefully, this plan for success will surprise you as spring approaches and you are well on your way to a healthier, happier you! Be Positive, Stay Focused and Get Results!

About the Author. Tom Hinton is a professional speaker and author of 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. He can be reached at: www.tomhinton.com or via email at: tom@tomhinton.com

2010-10-18T21:55:00.001-07:00

Discovering Your Life Purpose Before It’s Too Late

Several few months ago, I had an intriguing conversation with a good friend named Roger who confided he was tired of the rat race. He had worked for the same energy company for 24 years and decided his work was no longer fulfilling. He told me he was going to make some major changes in his life.

What struck me was Roger is a methodical planner and analytical thinker. He does not make irrational or snap decisions. He’s 56 years old, a former Army officer, unmarried and has an advanced degree in engineering. Given Roger’s management position with his company, I’m sure he earned $250,000 per year or more. I could tell something profound was stirring inside my friend.

Then, last week, Roger sent me another email announcing he had quit his job, sold his spacious home near Houston and moved to northern Colorado where works as a project manager for a non-profit organization that helps disabled veterans get their lives back on track. Despite the low-paying job, cold weather and one bedroom apartment, Roger couldn’t be happier.

In my email response to Roger, I had to ask, “What made you do it? Why did you toss everything aside and change direction in your life?” His answer was profound.

Roger told me he had attended a company-sponsored workshop on how to re-discover one’s passion for life and work. Roger attended the program as a way to get re-energized and motivated since his company was considering him for a major promotion since it was expanding its business. For several months prior to the workshop, Roger was bored at work and felt he was slipping into a velvet rut of contentment without any sense of personal satisfaction or growth.

But, during the workshop, the facilitator asked attendees to think about their legacy and how they would like to be remembered. “It was a haunting question,” Roger told me, “because I never really gave it much thought. I realized I was 55 years old and could spend the rest of my life leading a project team and having a nice retirement and a gold watch to show for it. Somehow, that just wasn’t enough. I knew if I had any doubts about how I would spend the next ten years, now was the time to make some changes. And, that’s what I did!”

Roger’s decision to quit his job and seek a new direction is not uncommon. In fact, every month -- at seminars and workshops I conduct on Finding Your Passion in the Workplace -- I am meeting dozens of people who tell me they are unfulfilled. They either hate their jobs or don’t think their lives have much significance. That’s not to suggest they’re unhappy or miserable. But, they are unfulfilled. They want something more out of life and they just need a good reason or hard shove to get off the dime and make the same changes that Roger made in his life.

Andrea DeBell, an author who writes on happiness and bliss in life, uses a beautiful analogy about footprints in the sand. She writes, “We all leave footprints in the sand; the question is, will we be a big heal, or a great soul?” It’s a powerful question because it captures the essence of our life purpose. And, sooner or later, it’s a question we must all answer. Even by ignoring the question, we answer it.

In my new book, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life, I challenge readers to consider their legacy and how they want to be remembered? Frankly, it’s not that long a time when you consider that 10,000 days equals 27 years and 145 days. The average person only lives about 30,000 days or 82 years. So, the clock is ticking for all of us!

The Course of 10,000 Days suggests that our lives are divided into three segments -- our Discovery Years, our Fulfillment Years and our Legacy Years. Each portion lasts ten thousand days. As we transition from our Fulfillment Years into our Legacy Years -- our final 10,000 days -- we begin to ask ourselves those haunting questions about our life purpose and how will we be remembered? It’s a natural part of life. But, it can cause major problems if you don’t have good answers. This is what my friend, Roger, experienced. He didn’t have any satisfactory answers so he decided to revisit his goals and dreams. That’s what triggered his major changes. Now, according to his own definition of success, his life has meaning and purpose. He has found his bliss.

While this period of self-reflection and introspection can occur as early as your mid 40s, typically it hits us as we enter our 50s. Some of us might think we are experiencing a mid-life crisis when, in fact, it’s simply our Inner Spirit challenging us to do something meaningful and memorable with our life. But, because our ego controls most of our emotional responses, our Inner Spirit (that third dimension of our Being that guides us through life towards our higher purpose) does its job by repeatedly posing those haunting questions and demanding truthful answers.

And so, like Roger, we begin to think about our footprint on the sands of life. Are we leaving a profound imprint that will not be washed away by the sands of time, or will our footprint disappear quickly because our life lacks meaning and purpose?
By examining your life through the questions and exercises of The Course of 10,000 Days you can leave a lasting imprint on the people you love and the planet where you live. But, it requires you to take that all-important first step and answer the question: How do I live a life worth remembering?

About the Author: Tom Hinton is one of America’s most respected authors and speakers on Personal Development, Professional Growth and Human Potential. He is the author of four books including:10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life, which will be published in 2011. For information, email him at: tom@tomhinton.com

How The Course of 10,000 Days Can Help You Reconnect with Your Inner Spirit

2010-01-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

Did you know that the average person lives about 30,000 days? But, thanks to the marvels of modern medicine we’re living longer! The Course of 10000 Days™ teaches us that our first 10000 days, which equates to a little more than 27 years, are known as our Discovery Years. These days span our infancy to early adulthood. We spend these days developing our personality and ego, learning values, shaping our character and behavior, and creating lifelong bonds with our family and friends. It is during our Discovery Years that we attempt to discover our gifts and talents and exercise creativity. We also learn how to assess risks, make mistakes and rebound, expand our minds, learn social graces, receive a formal education, plot our career path, forge our political beliefs and values, challenge the status quo, set goals and discover the power and pitfalls of money and romance.

Our second 10000 days are our Fulfillment Years. Most people spend their Fulfillment Years building their resume, acquiring wealth, searching for true love, starting a family, laying down roots, striving to achieve their goals, traveling and consuming all the world has to offer.

Ironically, as many people complete their Fulfillment Years they realize they are, in fact, unfulfilled because they have failed to live their dreams or achieve their vision and goals. They realize their Fulfillment Years have been reduced to climbing the corporate ladder, chasing success and keeping up with the Jones. It’s an awkward moment in our lives when we realize that we are completely ego-driven and have little connection with our Inner Spirit, nor any reasonable understanding about why we exist.

When this occurs, it represents the beginning of a major transformation in our life. It is the point when we come face-to-face with our third 10000 days, which The Course™ refers to as our Legacy Years. It is at this moment we realize something significant in our life is missing. We begin to ask ourselves such nagging questions as Who am I? How do I live a life worth remembering? and What is my higher purpose in life? This is the quiet, but steady voice of our Inner Spirit.

As we reach this turning point in our lives, we begin to ask our Inner Spirit to help us find meaningful answers to these difficult questions that will shape our next 10000 days. It is hard to get on with our lives until we have some rational explanation as to why we exist and what our higher purpose is on earth. It’s typical for people in their mid-40s and early 50s to start asking themselves such somber questions about life’s meaning and purpose as they experience the death of loved ones -- parents, a spouse, family members and friends. With each personal loss, the pressure to satisfactorily answer these unsettling questions intensifies and we hunger for meaningful answers. When loved ones pass away, a serious void is created in our life, and we realize our ego is incapable of answering these humbling questions.

This spiritual void is one reason why so many people enter their third 10000 days -- our Legacy Years -- anxious, unfulfilled and searching for answers. This is why so many 40 and 50-year olds undergo a mid-life crisis and walk away from their careers, marriages and families in search of something new. But, without clarity of direction, conviction of purpose and confidence in one’s self, these wandering souls are doomed to a life of ambiguity and unanswered questions.

During our Legacy Years, we struggle with two fundamental issues. The first deals with human vanity. We begin to show our age in unflattering ways. We also begin to show signs of mortality. Our body doesn’t work as well as it used to and we start sagging in certain places and expanding in others. The second issue relates to our personal legacy and how we will be remembered. We realize that there are so many dreams and goals we have yet to fulfill. Subtly, our Inner Spirit challenges us to not give up. And so, we begin anew to search for answers and this search rekindles our hope to salvage long forgotten dreams and goals. It is the beginning of our spiritual awakening and enlightenment.

Some people seek answers by going to church or by reading the Bible, embracing the teachings of prophets like Jesus Christ. While prayer and faith are powerful tools to help people find temporary comfort, our ultimate salvation is not in heaven, but here on earth. By connecting with our Inner Spirit and discovering our higher purpose in life, we can experiences human divineness on earth.

The Course of 10000 Days™ is based on a simple life-balance philosophy that teaches us how to control our ego and emotions so that they can work in harmony with our Inner Spirit to fulfill our dreams and live our higher purpose. While The Course™ is not aligned with any particular church, religion or philosophy, it compliments the life lessons we have learned from the greatest teachers, saints and philosophers throughout the ages.

The purpose of The Course™ is to help you achieve your greatest potential as a human being. To accomplish this goal, you must experience a spiritual awakening and walk the path of enlightenment where you can discover your higher purpose in life. It all begins by responding truthfully and deeply to the Three Sacred Questions of The Course™.

According to The Course™, we all have the same higher purpose. However, how we manifest it varies considerably from one person to the next. This is because each person has a different interpretation of life and the legacy they want to leave behind.

The purpose of The Course™ is clear. It is not some New Age phenomena, but rather the first step in our spiritual development whereby we find harmony and peace within, and create an equal balance among our Ego, Emotions and Inner Spirit. The Course™ refers to these three elements of our Being as the Triangle of Being. Each of us possesses these three elements. It is the Triangle of Being that makes us think, feel, act, behave and react to every situation or encounter in life.

Much of what you will learn from The Course™ deals with self-awareness and self-improvement. It is a process that will lead you through the Three Sacred Questions, over the Bridge of Forgiveness, and, ultimately, into the Kingdom of Roses.

Those who have completed The Course™ will tell you without hesitation that this process works. However, it requires an investment of time and effort on your part. The Course™ embraces the core principle that is written in the Bible, the Koran and other great books of religion -- that in order for you to experience a benefit, you must invest in yourself. If you are seeking lasting fulfillment, then The Course™ is right for you.

Regrettably, some people only want a quick-fix to life. They wrongly believe that if they have the answers, they can solve their problems and skate by. But, as The Course™ teaches us, knowing the answers without understanding the equation of life -- and why we think, feel, act, behave and react to things the way we do, will not help us discover our higher purpose, find inner peace or help us live a passionate life!

This is why prayer alone cannot bring salvation. You must help yourself by taking the next step. While self-help books and self improvement courses are encouraged, ultimately, in order to overcome anxiety, depression, panic attacks and fear is to change how you think, feel, act, behave and react to life. The Course™ addresses these issues and challenges by helping you confront barriers in your life that prevent you from healing and achieving your greatest potential. Ironically, what The Course™ teaches us is one of the best kept secrets in the world. Simply stated, it all starts with your commitment to become the person you desire; to dream your dreams; and, realize that your potential as a human being is unlimited if you believe in yourself.

We invite you to enroll in The Course™ and experience its amazing powers for yourself!

For program information on The Course of 10,000 Days™, please visit The 10000 Days Foundation, a non-profit organization at: www.thecourseof10000days.org

About the Author: Tom Hinton is well known as a thought leader and spiritual development coach. He is the author of the best-selling book entitled 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom facilitates The Course™ weekend retreats in San Diego, California and frequently speaks at meetings and conferences on topics relating to human potential and spiritual development. He can be reached via email at: tom@tomhinton.com

Common Sense is Not All That Common

2009-08-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

by Tom Hinton

In his classic book, A World Waiting To Be Born: Civility Rediscovered, the late author Dr. M. Scott Peck, noted that today’s society suffers a serious and disruptive illness -- incivility. Dr. Peck believed our destructive patterns of self-absorption, callousness, manipulativeness, and materialism are so ingrained in our routine behavior that we cannot recognize them. Like Dr. Peck, I believe incivility is fatal to companies, government agencies and politicians who treat people with contempt or indifference.

During the past few weeks, there have been numerous cases of incivility that cause me to wonder how people in important positions can act so callously or dim-witted? Regrettably, the examples of incivility range from President Obama labeling the Cambridge Police Department as “acting stupidly” to sports and, not surprisingly, the whipping boy of consumer dissatisfaction -- the airlines industry.

Unfortunately, for President Obama, his choice of words was less than presidential. To label the Cambridge Police Department for “acting stupidly” before Mr. Obama had all the facts left him open to criticism and derailed his health care reform efforts while his critics crowded the airwaves dissecting his ill-chosen comments. It took a few beers and photos at the White House with Sgt. Crowley and Professor Gates, Jr. to clear the air and get the president out of the Cambridge dog house. It was a tough lesson for Mr. Obama on civility and choosing one’s words more carefully.

Next, consider the bonehead decision by the management of Continental Express to allow 47 passengers to sit for six hours on a deserted tarmac after flying from Houston to Minneapolis -- only to be diverted to Rochester some 90 miles away. After nine hours, the all-night camp-out on Continental Express Flight 2816 took on the smell of soiled baby diapers and a backed-up toilet that was over-used by the stranded passengers in the regional jet. You would think that after JetBlue committed a similar blunder two years ago -- stranding thousands of passengers on planes that sat within spitting distance of the JFK terminal -- that Continental Express would not make the same dumb mistake. What should have been a 2 1/2-hour trip from Houston to Minneapolis became a nightmare for those 47 passengers. It also provides us with a new definition for incivility. After all, what civil-minded person would confine 47 passengers in a foul-smelling airplane without ample food and water for nine hours? It borders on torture let alone stupidity.

But, common sense is not common in the airline industry. Just ask, United Airlines which continues to suffer stock losses and the disdain of consumers who watched guitarist Dave Carroll’s YouTube video saga entitled, United Breaks Guitars. Passengers sitting aboard a plane in Chicago witnessed UAL baggage handlers tossing Carroll’s guitar like a football. When Carroll retrieved his expensive Taylor guitar at his destination, he found it had been broken. Carroll’s efforts to have United Airlines fix his instrument fell on deaf ears for 9 months. So, Carroll wrote the widely popular song, United Breaks Guitars, which has been viewed by 4 million people. Is it simply a coincidence that many stock analysts believe the Mr. Carroll’s United Breaks Guitars sage has cost UAL millions in stock losses? If so, that’s an expensive lesson in civility and disdain for your customers!

Another example of incivility concerns Tiger Woods, who was fined by the PGA Tour for his public criticism of a rules official after winning last week’s Bridgestone Invitational in Akron, Ohio. In this example of incivility and a lack of common sense, Tiger is being unfairly punished by the PGA for criticizing the referee, John Paramour, who told Woods and Padraig Harrington they were being “put on the clock” for slow play at a critical time in the final round of the tournament. At the time, Harrington clung to a slim one-shot lead at the par-5 16th hole. The comment by Mr. Paramour rattled Harrington. Tiger Woods said afterwards said the intrusion by Paramour caused Harrington to rush three difficult shots that led to his devastating triple bogey on the 6th hole. Harrington never recovered and Woods went on to win the tournament by four shots. Woods said he told Harrington after it was over, “I’m sorry that John [Paramour] got in the way of a great battle.” This is why the PGA fined Woods.

While Woods and Harrington lagged behind the players in front of them, their pace seemed steady for a competitive two-man duel. While the PGA will argue that Paramour was within his right to put Woods and Harrington “on the clock,” his timing was terrible and, thus, lacked civility. Even well-intentioned people make bonehead plays that confound common sense.

Finally, I’m sure Dr. Peck would be troubled -- as I am -- by the recent incivility at the various congressional town hall meetings as the merits of a proposed health care reform plan are debated. Certainly, such a sweeping proposal will draw many different ideas, comments and opposing viewpoints. But, in watching the news coverage of these town hall meetings, it is both disgraceful and undignified how so many Americans are conducting themselves. Whatever happened to civil discourse and allowing one person to voice their opinion before an opposing thought is expressed? Instead, I see angry old men yelling and screaming at women and children. For what? If this is political theatre, shame of those who would defame America’s prized ritual of debate. Is this the image of American society we want to project to the world that is watching America discuss health care reform? This is how we earned the distasteful label, “Ugly American.”

It should come as no surprise that many of our children hold politics, politicians, and various television news commentary programs in contempt. In their minds, our generation is not a role model for civility. We are a generation that represents everything negative, spiteful and perverse in American society. We lack common sense, self-respect, and a sense of decency and fairness not only for ourselves but for other nations as well. We have, as Dr. Peck feared, become a discredited society that is self-absorbed, callous, manipulative, and completely consumed with material things.

Can it be that we have become a nation without feelings and emotions? As one college student remarked to me last week, “America has lost its soul. I’m disgusted with all of you.” Frankly, she’s right… I’m disgusted with all of you, too!

About the Author: Thomas Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. He is a popular speaker at business and association conferences on the topics of Life Balance and Discovering Your Life Purpose. He can be reached at: tom@tomhinton.com

Answering Life's Most Difficult Questions

2009-01-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

At a recent workshop I conducted on The Course of 10,000 Days™, one participant asked me, “What is life’s most difficult question?” This is a topic I’ve been studying and teaching for more than twenty years. As people reach their mid-forties, they begin to ask themselves serious questions about their higher purpose and what it takes to achieve their life goals. Certainly, these questions are more than just a passing phase for aging Baby Boomers.

What I have found is the older we get the more profound the questions become. Eventually, the twin issues of achieving our human potential and living a life worth remembering become a central focus for us. This is one reason why self-help books, personal development courses, and workshops like The Course of 10,000 Days™ have become so popular in recent years. Everybody is searching for answers to life’s most difficult questions.

I’ve concluded there are actually two questions that are the most difficult for people to answer. I say this because it’s important to understand that human beings have two dimensions -- a physical dimension and a spiritual dimension. Thus, there are two most difficult questions to answer -- one for each realm of our existence, physical and spiritual.

To answer the first of life’s most difficult questions, we should start in the physical realm because it is through our physical dimension that our spiritual essence is revealed. From a physical perspective, life’s most difficult question is this: How do I become the person I want to be?

In The Course of 10,000 Days™ we teach people that there are three steps to achieving our human potential and becoming the person we want to be. The first step is Acceptance of Self. In other words, embrace who I am. In the beginning, we were conceived in perfection and born into this world with unique attributes and talents. Our challenge is to discover those talents and develop them. Too many people trudge through life without ever discovering their greatness. Instead, they focus on their limitations and allow their weaknesses to hold them down. The principle of Acceptance of Self gets us out of the rut of self-pity and moves us into action by conducting a thorough self-assessment of our strengths and talents. I have found that once people begin to understand their strengths and explore their talents, they can climb out of the ruts and get on the path to achieving their life goals - one step at a time.

The second step is Life Focus. A good portion of The Course of 10,000 Days™ retreat is devoted to helping people identify their goals and dreams, and then developing a written plan of action to achieve them. During The Course™ retreat, attendees form groups of five-to-six people known as “B-HAGs” (an acronym for Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal-setters). This process includes setting written personal and professional goals as well as weekly conference calls lasting 45-minutes to review each participant’s goals and progress towards their goals. B-HAGs also use visual aids such as Dream Boards and complete a comprehensive 90-day review session with our instructors. In this way, people create a “no-excuse” environment and force themselves to stay focused on achieving their goals. Frankly, it’s hard work to change behavior and achieve our dreams. But, for those who follow the process, I can tell you it is very rewarding!

The third and final step is Good Vibrations. If you listen to the Beach Boys’ classic hit record from 1966, you’ll appreciate the positive, feel good lyrics. It’s no different in real life. I have found that it’s not enough to merely accept one’s self and set goals. Ultimately, you need to change certain behavior that inhibits your progress.

Also, you need to ACT! This is an acronym that translates as follows: “A” is for Accept Your Gifts. We are who we are. Each person has talents and gifts bestowed upon them at birth and developed knowingly or unknowingly over their lifetime. The secret is to discover your gifts and talents. Then, begin to use them to achieve your goals and live your dreams. Incidentally, all gifts and talents are positive and loving. In other words, being a jewel thief or a skilled liar are not gifts. These are abuses of one’s undeveloped talents.

The “C” represents Commit to Your Goals. We all know people who are talented, but for some strange reason they never seem to achieve their dreams or goals. Years ago, I recall meeting a gentleman who had a great idea for a software program to help accountants and others manage their bookkeeping chores. A few years went by and when we met again we revisited our earlier discussion about software programs. By this time, Quicken and other financial accounting software programs had been introduced to the marketplace. He reminded me that he had thought of this concept years ago, but never acted. In other words, he lacked commitment. He was a brilliant person, but he never put his ideas into a formal plan of action and committed himself to doing it. Eventually, that brilliant idea floated away and landed in the lap of another person who reaped the benefits because they were committed.

The “T” in our ACT Formula represents Take Decisive Action. Simply translated, this means that every day you must do something decisive that moves you closer to success. I’ve met dozens of people who tell me they have a great idea for a book. I always respond by saying, “That’s great. Tell me, what are you doing today to make your book idea a reality?” More often than not, the answer is nothing. It may be a great idea, but without decisive action that book will never get written -- at least by that aspiring author! You need to sit down and write a page a day in order to translate your idea into a book.

To generate Good Vibrations in your life, follow the ACT Formula.

It’s hard to focus on our spiritual essence when our physical needs are not being met. This is why The Course of 10,000 Days™ emphasizes the importance of life balance in the three major areas of our physical dimension. They are: Self, Health, and Wealth. Once these needs are identified and your attention is focused on your intentions, you can begin to answer the second of life’s most important questions:

How do I achieve my higher purpose?

As The Course of 10,000 Days™ teaches us, we all have the same higher purpose in this lifetime. But, because we are uniquely different and possess special talents and the gift of free will, we pursue our higher purpose in many different ways. The end result is that some of us discover our higher purpose while others live a life of quiet desperation. Why is that?

The primary reason is analogous to the children’s story of the Three Little Pigs. You cannot build your life on straw principles and muddy routines and expect them to withstand the torrential threat of negativity, disappointment, and hardships. Life requires us to build our physical and spiritual temples of solid brick or stone so that we can overcome the periodic threats and storms that come our way. This means that our principles must be tried and tested. We must believe in ourselves so that we can overcome those moments of doubt when they come along. What The Course of 10,000 Days™ helped me discover was how to build a solid foundation so that I was strong enough to withstand the daily barrage of life’s challenges, negative news, and those unpleasant people who feel compelled to step on my sand castles. The Course™ also taught me how to discover purpose, peace, and passion in my life -- which are the keys to unlocking the gate of your spiritual dimension. Without discovering inner peace and your passion in life, it is impossible to find your higher purpose.

So, after much reflection and discussion, I believe these are life’s most difficult questions. The quest to discovering your higher purpose and then living it can be a rewarding one. But, it will require you to do all the things I’ve shared in this article.

If you’re looking for a positive resource to help you on your journey, I encourage you to consider The Course of 10,000 Days™ and the various programs offered by The 10,000 Days Foundation.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of The 10,000 Days Foundation. He is the author of four books including 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is also a popular speaker at various conferences and meetings. For more information, please email: tom@tomhinton.com

Cheers and Jeers: Restoring Civility in the Bleepin’ Bleachers

2008-02-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

I hate to be the one who blows the whistle and calls for a time out on the fans, but there’s a growing problem at high school and college athletic events that needs to be nipped in the bud quickly. It’s a problem that parents and school administrators are responsible for creating because they have not stepped-in to control their sons and daughters, or put an end to certain, unacceptable sporting event practices that clearly cross the line.

I’m talking about the heightened irreverence and disrespect that student-fans are showing for the opposing team at sporting events. This is a problem that has gone far beyond the traditional rivalry cheers, barbs, and exchanges at football and basketball games. It’s now become a common occurrence at most high school and college sporting events I attend -- even girls’ sports have become infected.

It’s reached the point where an unsuspecting spectator attending his first game might think that the vulgarity, taunts, crude signs, and even offensive t-shirts are accepted practice among certain inept athletic directors and school administrators who should know better.

I recognize that students should be able to have fun; and, that sporting events offer a great opportunity to let off some steam and razz the other team. In fact, I think it’s an important element of school spirit and camaraderie to have a group of students form cheer squads, paint their bodies, and sit together to root on their team and goad the opponent. That behavior has been around since the gladiators fought in Rome’s Coliseum.

But, civility is lost and good sportsmanship is trounced when raucous students and their parents engage in over-the-line behavior such as booing, name-calling, or using vulgar language to harass and taunt the opponent. These are unacceptable practices and every high school and college administrator, and sports commissioners should establish very clear game conduct guidelines, and enforce harsh penalties for any school that does not control its spectators.

The line has already moved in the wrong direction. For example, many universities and high schools think nothing of allowing fans to wave noodles and streamers, or shout “Miss! Miss! Miss!” while a basketball player attempts a free throw shot from the foul line. If that was your kid at the foul line, how would you feel? Sure, you want to do everything you can to psyche out the shooter before he attempts his/her shot. That’s why coaches call timeouts -- to freeze the field goal kicker, right? But, once the player takes aim and shoots the ball, civility and etiquette should be the rule.

Consider an ugly incident that was reported by San Diego Union Tribune reporter Steve Brand. At a recent high school girl’s basketball game between two upscale private schools, La Jolla Country Day (LJCD) and Bishops, a Bishop High School basketball player was booed loudly and taunted by her former La Jolla Country Day schoolmates whenever she handled the ball. While these two teams have a vigorous rivalry, there was a complete lack of decorum among San Diego’s so-called privileged citizenry that populated the La Jolla Country Day bleachers and allowed their sons and daughters to engage in this inexcusable and embarrassing behavior.

Of course, you would think the administrators of La Jolla Country Day would have adequately addressed the incident? Apparently not, because when the same two teams met again a few weeks later, La Jolla Country Day’s parents and students replaced their vulgar taunting with hurtful, negative signs that were directed towards the young lady from Bishop. Again, how could a group of so-called upscale parents sit there and allow that to happen? It was a disgraceful repeat incident that offended not only the event attendees, but the entire community; and, it showed the LJCD parents and school administrators for what they really are -- classless egalitarians.

Someone needs to ask the obvious question. What are parents and school administrators doing to control their fans? We’re not talking about trying to control crazy, drunken Oakland Raider fans here. We’re talking about high school and college sporting events where parents, coaches, school administrators, and sports commissioners -- not to mention the game referees -- should have some modicum of control over the event and its environment. As one CIF official told reporter Steve Brand, “The gym needs to be viewed as an extension of the classroom. If a student was making a presentation in the classroom, would it be all right to boo? No, that’s disrespectful. Would you allow negative signs? No, that’s disrespectful, too!” I completely agree and applaud this approach to maintaining civility and decorum at high school and college athletic events.

So, why isn’t there more civility at these games? I think the obvious answer is that parents and administrators have lost perspective; or, they simply have no commons sense as was demonstrated by the La Jolla Country Day parents and students. Harsh, you say? Well, then you tell me why adults sit there passively in the stands and allow student-fans (and even other parents) to cross the line. Somebody needs to accept responsibility and call these idiots out.

Here’s a solution. Sporting Event Standards (similar to the 1999 program, “Pursuing Victory with Honor,” that was adopted by the California Inter-scholastic Federation) need to be approved, publicized, and enforced among parents, fans, and the student body. Security personnel at these games should be authorized to confiscate offensive signs and shirts as well as forewarn fans to refrain from vulgar outbursts and chants. Once this type of enforcement starts to happen, people will get the message that civility and decorum are expected and fans will begin to express their support and/or disgust during the game in appropriate ways.

There will always be booing of the referees and negative chants when a certain call goes against the home team. But, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when bleacher behavior crosses the line. That’s when school administrators and sporting officials need to step in and control the fans in the bleachers.

It’s tougher to do in college sports, especially when cross-town rivals go at it. But, nevertheless, the same rules should apply here. My experience at college games has been that drunken fans are the root cause for most problems in the bleachers. I’m not sure eliminating beer sales is the answer because most of these fans, especially college students, are already drunk when they arrive in the bleachers and begin their offensive conduct and immature conduct. Short of removing them from the game, I don’t know what else can be done.

It’s not my intention to take the fun out watching the game by suppressing the spontaneity of sports fans. I love a good game and I certainly like to cheer on my favorite team. But, when you have to sit next to some-loud mouth jerk and listen to him repeatedly bellow out vulgarities or wave his offensive sign, well, now my rights to enjoy the game have been infringed upon. And, I don’t like it. Sometime, I’ll encourage him to sit down, but I don’t want to start a fight and I don’t want to get sued. So, it’s up to the school administrators, their security personnel, and other officials to calm him down or remove him from the bleachers.

It’s getting to the point where good fans like me are seriously considering staying home. Why bother? Who needs the hassle? And, that’s really too bad because when enough good fans capitulate and decide to stay home, well, now the idiots are running the asylum and ruining the game for the rest of us -- not to mention how it makes the players on both sides of the bench feel.

I just hope your son or daughter doesn’t come home some night after giving their best in a game feeling depressed and suicidal because of the unfair taunting and verbal insults directed their way from a few immature parents and students who should know better. That would be the ultimate tragedy, wouldn't it, sport fans? Let's remember, it's only a game!

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular author and professional speaker. His new book is entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. For more information visit www.tomhinton.com or email him at tom@tomhinton.com

Love Is In the Air

2008-02-11T12:12:00.001-08:00

by Tom Hinton

As St. Valentine’s Day approaches, I thought I’d share with you an interesting practice that is being used by my high school -age daughter, Becca, and her one thousand most intimate friends. They conclude every telephone call with this heartfelt phrase, “Love you! Bye.”

Becca and her friends have been using this valediction since they were in sixth grade. I’m not sure who started it but it seems to have caught on. Now, it seems like all the teen-agers -- boys and girls alike -- are using this expression when ending telephone calls with their friends. I even hear them saying “Love ya! Bye.” when talking to their parents. How refreshing!

Mind you, I haven’t sat down with Becca and asked her, “Hey, where did this phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” come from and who started it?” I know better. You see, I’m certain she would just look at me with that deer-in-the-headlights teen-age gaze and reply, “That’s the gayest (most stupid) question you’ve ever asked me, Dad!” Then she’d shrug her shoulders, toss her hair, and walk away disgusted once again with her father. Oh well, there are some things parents must figure out for themselves.

So, for all you parents out there, here’s my analytical interpretation of what’s really being communicated when our wonderful, little darlings are on their cell phones. According to my phone bill, my daughter (and I’m sure this applies to your sons and daughters as well) makes about 422 calls every school night between 3pm and 10 pm. I don’t know how this is mathematically possible, but I believe the number is fairly accurate. Most of these calls are short because they never seem to last more than a few seconds. Some of the calls are intense because they deal with “boy” issues. I know because I can barely hear what’s being said even with her bedroom door closed.

But, regardless of how all these conversations flow, they always hang-up as friends. You see, friendships are re-affirmed or all is forgiven at the end of the call with the simple phrase, “Love ya! Bye.” This way, all the kids get a good night’s sleep (if you count five hours as a good night’s rest) and arrive at school the next morning tired, but still friends. I think that explains it all.

Well, maybe not. Perhaps, there’s a deeper, more serious explanation. Perhaps this younger generation desperately needs friendship and love in their lives. You see, their parents have been poor role models in these categories with our high divorce rates, our penchant for war, guns, and violence; and, basically screwing-up the environment and the world we live in. Now that I think about it, maybe our kids are trying to tell us something… love is all you need.

About the Author. Tom Hinton is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings. He is also the author of four books including 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion in Your Life. For information please email him at tom@tomhinton.com

The Heart of Work

2008-01-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

When I was a college student at the University of Maryland, I was very fortunate to land a part-time job in the Washington, D.C. area with a non-profit organization that served people with disabilities. My boss was named Robert. Despite the fact that Robert had been paralyzed from wounds he suffered in the Vietnam War, he was a positive and kind person who brought an abundance of excitement and positive thinking to the workplace. Even though he was confined to a wheelchair, Robert never let his physical limitations reduce his spirits. He was always upbeat and motivating. He was a great role model for us.

Robert expected good things from his employees and, in turn, he tried to instill in us a sense of responsibility to the organization and a commitment to give our very best, one hundred percent of the time.

Robert taught me several important lessons about leadership and how to succeed in the workplace. He believed that success in the workplace boiled down to two things --building positive relationships with other employees, and distinguishing yourself as part of the team.

When Robert talked about leadership, he was fond of citing the HEART acronym. He told us if we would lead with heart, we would always be successful regardless of the kind of business we managed or our rank or title. Here it is.

“H” stands for Humility. Never forget to check your ego at the door when you show-up for work. Always share the credit with those that got you there. If you are humble and give your team the credit for a job well done, it’s amazing how many people will want to be part of your team. Another part of humility is admitting you don’t have all the answers. Robert used to remind us that the best leaders solicit ideas and solutions from others because no two people see things the same. It’s just possible somebody else will have a good idea you didn’t think of! By the way, part of humility is acknowledging people for their good ideas. Humility is also putting the needs and interests of others first. Robert reminded us that the best leaders always put their teammates first. Great leaders are accustomed to being served last.

“E” represents Energy. When you arrive at work make sure you bring your best with you. Robert reminded us to put an extra jolt of energy and excitement in our voices when we answered the telephone or greeted a volunteer-member of the organization. He said that we should never forget that the person on the other end of the telephone line might be feeling down or in need of an emotional lift. Try to be the person who brings a little extra positive energy to the office because some people might have forgotten theirs.

Robert also told me that the fastest way to boost workplace productivity and results is to energize the workplace. Create a friendly, positive environment that invites people to give their best and enjoy themselves. Finally, Robert told us that there is no room in the workplace for toxic talk or negativity. Only positive energy would be allowed in his department. That’s why Robert never complained about the weather, the traffic, or his physical limitations. Although he was uncomfortable and suffered some physical pain, he never showed it. In fact, he always celebrated life to its fullest each and every day. Whenever we saw Robert wheeling around the office, we quickly realized that any complaints we had about life paled in comparison to what he had overcome.

“A” is for Abundance. Regardless of the cards life deals us, Robert believed that every person was capable of creating abundance in their life. He was a shining example of this. He took stock of his talents and attributes and did the best he could with them. If Robert awoke in the morning feeling sorry for himself or angry because he had lost the use of his legs, we never saw a hint of this. By the time he rolled into work, he had transformed any frown or physical discomfort into a smile and he was focused on doing the best he could.

Robert also taught us something else about abundance. It had little to do with money or possessions. When Robert spoke about abundance, he would always talk about the emotional aspects of abundance -- the heart and soul of abundance -- our ability to serve others. “The well of abundance never runs dry,” he was fond of saying.

“R” is for Respect. At work, we were frequently reminded to respect the needs of our members and each other. “Every human being deserves respect,” Robert would tell us. He also reminded us that there would be times during the day when someone would call our office and wouldn’t know how to ask for help. Perhaps it was their sense of pride or their inability to face their physical limitations. But, it was very important that we listen to each caller and give people a chance to work through their pain and anger. In the end, Robert reminded us, everyone wants to know you’re their friend; that you care about them as a person. This was Robert’s definition of respect. He understood that human dignity, when reduced to its lowest common denominator, amounted to kindness, caring, and understanding.

“T” represents “Think.” If there was one thing that got Robert hot under the collar it was when people opened their mouths before they put their brains in gear. Robert insisted that we think about what we wanted to say before we said it, and planned what we wanted to do before we did it! He encouraged us to write drafts before we sent a letter. Robert also suggested that we script-out our calls to prospective members before dialing the number so we didn’t get tongue-tied or lost in our thought process. It was good advice.

Robert, who served as a First Sergeant in his U.S. Army company, told us that when you are under fire in a combat situation, you learn quickly to think, or you might not survive. His military training and quick thinking saved his life when his company came under heavy enemy fire for several hours. Despite his wounds, he kept his cool and was able to drag himself and two wounded comrades to safety. His valor earned him a Silver Star. His story was a powerful reminder of why it’s important to train your mind and discipline your thought process so you can react calmly and quickly in any situation.

Twenty-five years later I still use Robert’s HEART acronym. I am also appreciative to have had the kind of boss who genuinely cared about his employees and was willing to give us many special gifts that would last a lifetime. Now, whenever I hear people talk about the heart of work, I think fondly of Robert and the heart he gave all of us who worked with him.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a dynamic and inspirational speaker who helps his clients achieve personal growth and life balance. He can be reached at tom@tomhinton.com

How to Get Better Results in Your Life

2008-01-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

Seven years ago, I began my work day like most people. I woke-up to an alarm clock, showered, dressed, ate a fast breakfast, and made a mad dash to my office to beat the morning traffic. Once I arrived at work, my day was consumed with emails, phone calls, and everybody else’s “to do” list. On most days, I had to stay late just to get my assignments completed. Life wasn’t much fun so I made some major changes.

In 2001, while waiting to address a business conference, I heard another speaker tell the audience, “To succeed in business, you need to transform yourself. Then you can change your business from the inside out.” That thought stuck with me and, after a few weeks, I began to ask myself, “How do I transform myself?”

I stumbled upon a simple, but effective, three-step process that I’ll share with you so you can start getting better results in your life.

1. Ask Yourself What Works and What Doesn’t Work in Your Life?
If you’re really honest with yourself, this can be a very powerful question that sets you free and lifts some burdens off your shoulders. In examining my own life, I discovered several things that weren’t working for me. For example, I did not enjoy managing people. Once I set confronted my ego, I realized that while I’m a good manager as well as a fair and considerate boss, I did not excel at administrative duties, solving human resource issues, and hiring/firing people. Others, who were trained in this area, could do a much better job than me. I also came to the realization that when I spent my time writing, speaking, and creating new products and services for our company, our revenue jumped. So, I transitioned out of the administrative role and hired a capable person who could perform all those functions much better than me -- and, she enjoys doing the work! Now, I’m free and I don’t have to get involved in the day-to-day administrative corporate issues.

2. Devote Your Time to Doing Those Things You Love to Do.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old expression that “the best work in life is doing those things you love so much you’d do them for free; except, you’re good enough to get paid for doing it!” If you are not engaged in fulfilling work that you truly enjoy, begin today to make the transition into something that excites you and keeps you mentally and physically healthy. It’s a sad commentary on our society that fewer than 20 percent of working people love their job. How unfortunate. Consider all the human talent that is being squandered because people are working at jobs that really don’t like. How much more productive could we be if we just quit and started doing something that we felt passionate about? Imagine how much happier the world would be!

I have a good friend who told me, “Life is too short to waste your days doing something that you really don’t want to do.” My friend’s statement pushed me to take action and start doing the things I love to do. When I share this statement with my workshop participants, several people respond by telling me, “I can’t just quit my job. I need the income!” Others react by asking me, “Well, what would I do? Where would I live?” While these are valid questions and concerns, I believe they are the ego’s way of holding you back. Our egos only operate out of fear and love. Our ego isn’t interested in the here-and-now; it’s only interested in the past and the future because that’s how our egos control our behavior and actions.

However, if you listen to your Inner Spirit and allow yourself to transform your dreams from wishes to reality, you will find a way to start living your dreams. But, you must first let go of your old ways and habits. Your old habits and predictable life patterns are holding you back from discovering new possibilities.

Some of the best advice I ever got was from a coach who told me -- when I asked him whether or not I should accept a new job -- he asked me, “What’s the worst thing that could happen to you if you accepted the new job?” When I told him that “getting fired after two months would be the worst thing that could happen,” he then asked me, “If that happened -- if you got fired after two months -- what would you do about it?” I thought about his question and replied, “I’d go get a new job!” He just nodded and asked me, “So, what’s all the fuss about? Go for it!” I did and everything worked out just fine. I realized my ego was trying to hold me back by using fear and uncertainty to keep me in my current job. Fortunately, I listened to my Inner Spirit’s counsel and made the move to a new career path. And, all was well.

3. Have the Courage to Take a Few Risks in Life.
This leads me to the third step, taking risks. There’s a delightful new book series entitled, 1,000 Things to Do Before You Die. It’s about taking control of your life and visiting places around the world, doing exciting things, and living a life worth remembering. But, of course, first you need to be motivated or inspired to take action.

I understand you might be the kind of person who needs to summon up the courage to get off your sofa and venture outside into the unknown. That’s okay because most people are just like you. But, if you never take any risks, you’ll never know what it was like to really live! I’m not suggesting that you should bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, but, you might want to actually go someplace other than sit at home or drive 200 miles to your sister-in-law's house on your next vacation! You might think about taking a cruise or visiting a national park, or treating yourself to a weekend spa experience. I guarantee you’ll never be the same! As Albert Einstein said, “Once your mind is stretched, it will never return to its original dimension.”

Oh yeah - one other thing. For those of you who are tightwads and don’t want to spend any money on yourself -- well, just remember this. You may as well live a little because you can’t take it with you!

Getting Motivated and Staying Positive Every Morning

2008-01-16T14:32:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

It probably comes as no surprise that very few people wake-up feeling energized, invigorated, and positive. In fact, studies show that most people are grumpy and irritated in the morning. Furthermore, most people require their daily fix of caffeine or some other stimuli before they can even manage a smile or “good morning.” This got me wondering… why is it? Why aren’t people more positive?

While there are many reasons, I’ve whittled the list down to three primary causes as to why people begin their day feeling blah instead of great! If you’re among the “Blah Crowd” (and that’s not meant as criticism), ask yourself which one of these three reasons best describes your attitude or mindset when you wake-up in the morning?

I Can’t Get Motivated. Maybe it’s your tough commute to work, or the frost-coating on your windshield, or the fact that you partied late last night and you just can’t face that 6:00 am alarm clock. Perhaps, you just hate your job, or your boss is a jerk. These are all valid reasons why so many people would rather stay in bed than rise and shine!
I’m Not a Morning Person. I know people who don’t function before 11:00 am. They’re just not morning people. They enjoy staying up late into the night to read a favorite novel or watch the Late, Late, Late Show. And, beware! If you approach their office before lunch time, they might bite your head off or appear to be heavily medicated.
Life Sucks. If today represents “more of the same,” and you’re facing the same, old tiring routine, it’s understandable that you probably won’t be very excited about getting out of bed and jump-starting your day. I think this is the major reason why most people have the morning blahs. When life is dull, people are prone to be unmotivated and uninspired.

This is reality. If you can relate to any of these scenarios, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself an important question: What can I do to change my situation and start living the life I really want to live?

Here are three “triggers” -- as I call them -- you can use to change your life and start living the life you really want to live. I recognize that these are small triggers, but, nevertheless, they are significant steps you can take to get yourself motivated and ready to accomplish good things! See if they work for you and help you start living the life you really want to live.

1. Change the Way You Begin Your Day. It wasn’t too long ago that I relied on an alarm clock to shake me out of bed. No more! I made the decision to change the way I begin each day by becoming a morning person. I did away with alarm clocks and programmed myself to awaken each morning at 4:45 am. It wasn’t easy because, frankly, I wasn’t a morning person. But I made the conscious decision to change certain habits and patterns in my life in order to achieve better results. This is why I decided to get up early, exercise, and tackle my toughest daily goals before 7:00 am. It took me about two months to make this adjustment, but now, I am a morning person and I am accomplishing much more than before. By the way, it also helps me beat the morning traffic. My stress level is lower and I smile a lot more!

2. “BAG IT” Every Morning. Before I bounce out of bed, I take two minutes to complete the “BAG IT” Exercise. This wonderful exercise is something I learned from The Course of 10,000 Days™. Here’s how it works. The “B” is for Blessings. What three blessings do you have in your life at this very minute? The “A” is for Accomplishments. What three things did you accomplish in the past 24 hours that you can celebrate and feel good about? And, the “G” is for Goals. What are three goals you will set for yourself this morning and complete today -- so when you BAG IT tomorrow morning, your Goals become your three Accomplishments?

3. I Read my Affirmations. Now, before you yawn and tell me affirmations are old school and don’t work, hear me out. I can tell you based on my personal experience and my work with hundreds of coaching clients that affirmations are not only a very positive force, but they do work.

In fact, when you recite your affirmations repeatedly, your mind listens and begins to believe what you are saying. Affirmations are simply positive mental statements that you believe in. This is a key point, of course. You must believe in what you are saying. It doesn’t matter how you will accomplish something; it only matters that you believe it can be accomplished. The key to Affirmations is this: you are training your mind to think positive thoughts while focusing on what you want to achieve in your life. The “who, what, when, where, and how” is not important at this moment. Every time you affirm something that meets the “S-M-A-R-T” test, your mind begins to conjure up ways to make those affirmations a reality. The “S-M-A-R-T” test is something I learned years ago from Dr. Ken Blanchard. It’s an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant to your life goals, and Time sensitive (a deadline must be stated to achieve your goals). Here’s an example of a goof affirmation: “I am a healthy person who eats healthy foods, exercises daily, and takes excellent care of my body.”

So, tonight I expect you to program your mental alarm clock and start waking-up on your own. Okay, you might want to set your alarm clock just in case you need a few days to get it right. But, seriously, the only way you will get motivated and stay positive is if you choose to change certain outcomes in your life. This is the only way I know of that you can begin to live the life you really want to live!

Email me and let me know how it goes for you.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is a popular speaker and the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of your Life. For more information, please visit: www.tomhinton.com He can be reach at: tom@tomhinton.com

What Keeps You From Creating an Attitude of Abundance in Your Life?

2007-12-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

It seems the faster I peddle the farther behind I get!

The harder I try, the more I fail.

Everything I touch turns to mush.

It never rains, it pours.

Success is always just around the corner.

All the good men are already taken.

I never have enough money!

I hate my job.

My family doesn’t understand me.

Life is all work and no play.

These are just a sampling of the responses people have shared with me during The Course of 10,000 Days retreats when I’ve asked the question, “What keeps you from creating an Attitude of Abundance in your life?”

Most Baby Boomers have been conditioned to think and act the way we do because we were raised in a guilt-ridden culture that repeatedly sent such messages as ‘you are imperfect;’ ‘you are unworthy;’ ‘you need to be realistic;’ and, ‘lower your expectations.’ It should come as no surprise that many people have unintentionally sabotaged their life dreams by giving up on themselves before they’ve even put forth an honest effort to make their dreams a reality.

How can you undo this negative conditioning and create an Attitude of Abundance? Here are three steps we teach during The Course of 10,000 Days retreat to help people transform their lives from mediocrity to one of purpose, peace, and passion.

1. Challenge Your Beliefs and Values. So many of the beliefs and values we learned as impressionable children are negative, limiting, and create a “co-dependent” mindset. As an adult, it’s time you put your beliefs on trial and challenged them. Are they valid? Do they lead you to success in life or do they create barriers for success and make you dependent upon others? Do you believe what you’ve learned because your parents or teachers told you it was so? Or, have you closely examined those beliefs and values in the context of what your goals and aspirations are? I’m talking about the values and beliefs that presently guide and control your life decisions. Let me give you an example.

Marcia is 44 years-old. She is single and works as a marketing representative at a large Chicago law firm. Marcia told me her boss, who has a Masters Degree in Marketing, makes life difficult for a number of employees at the law firm who do not have at least a college degree despite their hard work and contributions to the law firm’s marketing and administrative functions. When I asked Marcia why she didn’t change law firms, she told me she didn’t think she could get a better paying job without a college degree.

As I analyzed Marcia’s current belief system and values, and how she can create an Attitude of Abundance in her life, I concluded that Marcia suffered from two negative beliefs that were limiting her success in life. The first is “Co-dependency.” If Marcia truly believed in herself she would not be dependent on her boss, who needs minions like Marcia in order to exert her abusive authority and play mind games with subordinates. There is no reason for someone to stay in a job when they are not respected. But, in Marcia’s case, she played into the co-dependency games of her boss who took advantage of Marcia’s low self-esteem by holding her back in life.

The second negative belief that inhibited Marcia’s success in life is “Unworthiness.” Marcia mistakenly thought that a college degree is the only standard of success by which she will be judged in life. Certainly, there are some jobs that require a college degree. But, in Marcia’s case, she is a talented marketing representative who gets results. She has a good track record. These are skills that most companies want in an employee regardless of their formal education. But, Marcia had convinced herself that no one would hire her without a college degree. I told Marcia that she would be no worse off if she contacted other law firms, sent them her resume, interviewed with them for a job, and didn’t get hired. In other words, she had everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying.

By appealing to Marcia’s negative belief s and limiting values (“I’ve got nothing to lose by sending out my resume!”), I was able to convince her to send her resume to five law firms that enjoyed excellent reputations as outstanding employers. Within two weeks, two law firms contacted Marcia and interviewed her. The happy ending is that last week Marcia politely quit her job and accepted a new marketing position that now pays her more and gives her more responsibility. Marcia’s self-esteem is higher and she now feels valued. At the same time, Marcia is continuing to work on undoing many of the negative beliefs that inhibit her success. She realizes that it does her no good to change jobs while continuing to carry the same negative beliefs and limiting values that held her back in life. It’s a challenge, but Marcia’s making significant progress.

2. Define Your Own Success in Life. It’s astonishing to talk with people and learn that the reason they never tried to achieve their life dream is because someone told them that it wasn’t possible! Regrettably, the worse offenders are usually those persons we love and respect the most -- our parents, siblings, teachers, relatives, and ministers. Understandably, much of my Baby Boomer generation grew-up with parents who survived the Great Depression in the 1920s and ‘30s. Thus, their beliefs and values were couched in scarcity not abundance. On the other hand, they did give us such wonderful values as generosity and helping others. But, the mindset of scarcity thinking caused many Baby Boomers to needlessly abandon their dreams and aspirations. Instead of pursuing our dreams and goals, many of us conformed to the ways of the silent majority and punched the clock at routine jobs.

During The Course of 10,000 Days retreats, we spend a considerable amount of time helping people redefine their life success plan and reconstruct their dreams. We build dream boards and talk about What If scenarios; and, what it takes to transition from the What Ifs to the What’s Next phase of life? The key is not to merely wish for something you want, but to set forth written action steps to achieve your goals and dreams. As one workshop participant recently told us, “I’ve watched The Secret fifteen times but I’m still not successful.” Well, The Secret is inspiring, but you need to get off the sofa and do something! Achieving success requires us to plan our work and work our plan.

3. Put Your Faith in You. When I grew up, action heroes like Superman, The Lone Ranger, and Davy Crockett inspired me. But, day by day, the harsh reality of life chipped away at my dreams and conditioned me to conform to society’s definition of success. I was told to believe not in myself, but in those institutions and organizations that would prepare me for the real world. It was well-intentioned advice, but not necessarily good advice. During an era of world wars, depressions, and social strife, my parent’s generation had little choice but to trust the views, teachings, and wisdom of their national government, the church, and educational institutions. Today, many of those same institutions have been corrupted and, in many respects, outlived their usefulness.

Our federal government has been engaged in a cunning campaign of lies and deceit for more than forty years in order to perpetuate its own survival and reckless global influence. Americans were misled to believe that war was vital for our national interest; that natural resources were plentiful and the environment was safe; and, the good life was still attainable for the masses as long as we did what the government told us to do. Politicians on both sides of the aisle continue to perpetuate this self-serving campaign of lies and deceit instead of telling citizens the truth. Why? Simply because many of our elected representatives have been corrupted by a system that fosters greed and power instead of putting the interests of its citizens first.

Many of the traditional religions are so scandal-ridden with sex abuse and fraud that they have lost much of their credibility with the Baby Boomer generation and our children. Even our education system is failing its students. Today, students can learn more from the Internet and their PlayStation games than in the classroom. Is it any wonder why kids are so bored in school and opt out?

I am witnessing firsthand the rise of a new and enlightened generation that is directly challenging the status quo. This generation believes the way it is, is not the way is should be in the future. They are bored with institutional learning and they are fed-up with educators who don’t deliver on the promise to make learning fun and inspiring. They’ve are questioning why they need to take mandated subjects if their passion lies elsewhere?

I am also finding that more youths are openly challenging the teachings of certain organizations that espouse such nonsensical beliefs as “Money is bad,” “Rich people are evil,” “You were born with Original Sin so you are imperfect,” and “It’s noble to be poor.” This victimization thinking is wrong; and, it is finally meeting stiff resistance among a new generation that is rejecting the call to conformity and compliance. No longer are a handful of inept leaders at the highest levels of government, religion, and education able to control and squander the dreams of another generation. This new generation is liberated and will go their own way while making decisions based on abundance, not scarcity thinking.

How interesting that the radical movements perpetuated by the Baby Boomers in the 1960s and ‘70s are returning in the guise of a spiritual quest that will allow us to revisit our dreams and create an Attitude of Abundance. Ironically, it is our children who are teaching us well this time around, not our failed institutional leaders who sold our early dreams down the river of hope.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation. He is the author of four books including 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is also a popular speaker at various conferences and meetings. For more information email him at tom@tomhinton.com

How to Become the Person You Want to Be

2007-11-17T11:19:00.000-08:00

by Tom Hinton

Last week, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about our favorite seasons. As we stood on her patio watching the last remaining leaves fall from the naked trees, I commented that my favorite season was autumn. She countered by saying her favorite season was spring. “In springtime,” she told me, “everything comes alive. The sun is warm, the flowers bloom with reckless delight, the grass smells freshly mowed, and all of nature is alive and vibrant.”

“That’s true,” I noted, “but there can be no springtime until the autumn seeds fall to the ground and nature gives way to winter’s brutal cold.” As Stanley Horowitz said so beautifully, “winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting, and autumn a mosaic of them all.”

Like the changing seasons, life is a reflection of nature’s twisted contradictions. At a recent workshop I conducted on The Course of 10,000 Days, I reminded participants that -- like the changing seasons -- we, too, must go through a process of change and rejuvenation in order to transform our lives.

While nature does this naturally with the change of seasons, most people have a difficult time dealing with change and transforming themselves into the person they want to become.

But, in order to achieve our higher purpose and fulfill our dreams, we must experience the same transformation as the flowers that go dormant in winter only to return to their vibrant, colorful self in springtime. During winter, there appears to be no signs of life. But, deep within the plant’s roots, a new bloom is preparing to emerge. It is only through this process of change and rejuvenation that nature’s beauty reveals itself to us. As Gerald De Nerval said so poignantly, “Each flower is a soul opening out to nature.”

So, how can you transform yourself into the person you want to become? Here are five steps from The Course of 10,000 Days that I recommend you follow.

Dream Big. You cannot achieve anything you are not willing to become. So, dream big. Consider the impossible. What is it that you really want in life? Ironically, most people only pursue those things they think they can accomplish. They never dream big. Allow the vibrations of nature to change your thought process. See the universe as offering you opportunities for success instead of limiting you and holding you back. You’ll be amazed at how many things come your way when you dream big. And, remember, if you shoot for the stars, but only hit the moon, that’s still a pretty good shot!

Don’t Worry, Be Happy. There’s an old axiom that goes “worry is like paying interest on money you haven’t yet borrowed!” It’s true. Don’t be a worry wart. There’s a better way to approach life. Be happy. Stop worrying. You can’t control the universe, so why worry about it. Instead, be a possibility thinker and create solutions. You will attract good things into your life when you are happy.

Use Your Talents. So many people keep wishing and praying for things -- never realizing they already have most of what they need in some form. They just aren’t using their talents or accessing people in their lives who can help them achieve their dreams. Let me give you an example. My friend, Allen, is a talented writer who had a great idea for a novel. But, Allen procrastinated writing his novel for nearly two years. He told me he didn’t have enough time to write his book. But, I knew that wasn’t true because we all have the same amount of time. It’s merely a question of how we spend it. The real reason Allen postponed writing his novel was a fear of rejection by publishers. I told Allen he was rejecting his work before a publisher ever had a chance to review his brilliant writing. I coached Allen to write 250 words every day at a specific time and email me whatever he had written before he went to bed. It worked. Allen finished his novel in seven months and received several publishing offers. So, use your talents… or lose them!

Create Your Own Happiness. I constantly hear people tell me they are unhappy because of things they lack in life. For example, they complain about their job. They don’t get along with their partner or spouse. Their boss is a jerk. The list of excuses goes on and on. But, the reality is that we create our own happiness in life. Unfortunately, there is only one thing in this world that can bring you happiness -- you! The only way you can create happiness in your life is to look yourself in the mirror every morning and say, “This may be all I’ve got to work with, but today I’m going to use it to create happiness and success for myself.” And then, get out there and activate your potential. Don’t rely on anyone else to create your happiness in life. Remember, your happiness is up to you.

Believe in Yourself. I’ve often wondered how Thomas Edison remained positive in his efforts to invent the right carbon filament for his light bulb invention in 1879. Despite ten thousand failed experiments, Edison pushed on and eventually discovered the right formula. Edison dreamed big. He believed in himself and never gave up. Have you made the same commitment to yourself? No one else will believe in you until you believe in yourself. A good question to ask is this: What one thing must I do today to grow myself to the next level? Then, make the commitment to do that one thing. Believe in yourself and radiate that belief so that others will be attracted to you and support you.

Put these five steps to practice in the next 24 hours and you’ll begin to see amazing results in your life. Start living your next 10,000 days and create a life worth remembering.

About the Author: Tom Hinton is president of the 10,000 Days Foundation and the author of 10,000 Days: Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. Tom is a popular speaker at corporate and association meetings on the subjects of Leadership and Life Change. He can be reached at www.tomhinton.com or by email at tom@tomhinton.com

Getting Past Your Mid-life Crisis through the "Dreams to Action" List

2007-11-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

During the past month, I've talked to a number of people who shared with me their trials and tribulations in life. I'm talking about divorce, child custody battles, layoffs, career changes, money problems, and a host of other hardships that are taking their toll on these good people. They all want to know, "what should I do?"

There's no simple answer that will fix all of life's problems. But, there are three questions I encourage people to ask themselves whenever they are up against a wall. Here they are:

1. What's the worst possible thing that can happen to you if "X" occurs?
2. If "X" occurs, what would you do then?
3. Is there something you have always wanted to do with your life but you were too afraid to "make that leap" because something or someone was holding you back? Could this be the right time to pursue your dream?

Throughout history, ordinary people have achieved extraordinary things when they were faced with a "do or die" situation. People like Churchill, Mother Teresa, and Gandhi, to name but a few. They overcame their challenges and achieved great things. So can you! There's a wonderful expression that goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

Now, you might say, "Well, I have a dream. I'd like to be an author or classical pianist, but I haven't developed the skills to achieve my dream." I would tell you that is "Scarcity Thinking." Change how you think. As my friend Jim Cathcart, one of America's most successful speakers and authors, who is renown for Relationship Selling and personal development suggests, "If you spend one hour a day for five years, you will be an expert in anything!" I agree. In fact, it might not even take that long. But, the sooner you begin the journey, the sooner you will achieve your dream and live the life you want.

Let me give you one more example. This morning, I was shopping at the neighborhood grocery store, when I spotted an older gentleman who was a member at my health club. He has been going there for about 16 months. When he first started coming to the club, he was in bad shape. He had trouble walking. He had suffered a debilitating stroke or medical setback. But, this morning, I almost didn't recognize him because he was walking upright, albeit slowly, but without the assistance of a walker or his wife, who usually accompanies him to the health club. I hadn't been there for a month due to my travel schedule, so I paused and said to him, "Wow, you look great. You've really made progress!" He smiled and said, "I just take it one day at a time."

One day at a time. What a great attitude! Someone once said that "God doles out life in increments we can handle." We get 24 hours in a day; sixty minutes in an hour; and, sixty seconds in every minute. So, my question is "what are you doing this very minute to get your life back on track and inch closer to your dream?"

No one else is going to live your life for you. No one else can get you through your mid-life crisis or current setback. Only you can do that. So, once your tears have dried and you catch your breath, go over to the kitchen table and begin your "Dreams to Action" List. Just write down the one thing you will do today (even if it's 10:30 pm and you're tired!) that will move you closer to your dream. Then do it... now! Put a check by that item before you go to bed. This is a very important step (writing it down) to achieving your dream.

Tomorrow morning when you wake-up, write down one more thing you will do that will move you closer to your dream; and then, act on it sometime before you go to bed. Be sure to carry your "Dreams to Action" list with you; and, look at it during the day to remind you to get it done.

This simple step will make a tremendous difference in your life and will help you achieve your dreams.

So, what are you waiting for?
Get over to that kitchen table or computer desk and start writing your "Dreams to Action" List!

And please, drop me an email at tom@tomhinton.com and let me know how it's going!

The Course of 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life

2007-10-09T19:59:00.001-07:00

Author's Note:
We hope you enjoy this excerpt from Tom Hinton's new book entitled, 10,000 Days: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Peace, and Passion for the Rest of Your Life. It will be published in 2009. For more information on The Course of 10,000 Days, please visit this Blog or our soon-to-be-website at www.10kdays.com after March 1, 2009

Chapter 1: My Introduction to The Course of 10,000 Days

There are moments in our life when a nurturing, internal force challenges us to reconcile our existence with a higher power. The nurturing force I am referring to is your Inner Spirit. It can so profoundly affect your Being that as a result of its positive influence and guidance you can change your thoughts, behaviors, actions, and life outcomes. The higher power I am referring to is the Divine Source, that universal energy that is omnipotent and all-loving. I know this to be true because this is the spiritual transformation I made as a result of completing The Course of 10,000 Days.

Oftentimes, an encounter with your Inner Spirit occurs when you are most vulnerable -- when you are struggling through life; when your relationships are broken or failing; when you are in financial trouble; or, the pressures of performing your job seem overwhelming. It is during these difficult and trying times that the Inner Spirit -- that quiet, spiritual dimension that balances your ego -- surfaces to gently nudge you towards your higher purpose in life and, in turn, true success and happiness.

When your Inner Spirit emerges it poses such unsettling questions as: Who am I? and, How do I give my life meaning and purpose? Like a blade of grass inching its way above the soil in search of sunlight and the earth’s nutrients, your Inner Spirit quietly persists until you answer its call.

It was during such a moment in my life that I was introduced to The Course of 10,000 Days. Although it happened several years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an unseasonably hot August evening in Southern California. The traffic was bumper-to-bumper from San Clemente to San Juan Capistrano. I glanced at my watch repeatedly wishing time would stand still for ten minutes because I was late for a dinner appointment with my friend and client, Ajay Shivani. It had been nearly a year since we last visited, and I was anxious to get to Laguna Beach to meet him.

The drive from San Diego to Laguna Beach, which normally takes 75 minutes, had dragged on for nearly two hours. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel and cursed the passing cars as I crept closer and closer to the Beach Cities off-ramp on Interstate 5 where I could finally exit the freeway. It wasn’t until I pulled into the Las Brisas restaurant parking lot that my breathing relaxed.

Despite arriving twenty minutes late, Ajay greeted me warmly and dismissed my lack of punctuality with a wave of his hand as he pointed to the majestic Pacific Ocean below. It felt good to be in the presence of a positive person who seemed to have not a worry in the world and truly loved life. There was an air of calmness about Ajay. His inner strength and self-confidence had a soothing effect on me. In an instant, he washed away my anxieties, calmed my mind, and engaged me in a conversation about the most inconsequential, but relaxing things. Ajay commented on the rhythm of the ocean waves as they crashed onto the beach. He observed the beauty of a single red rose in a blue vase that decorated Table 17 where we were seated. He also reminded me of the power of an appreciative smile, which he gave to each and every person who waited on our table.

During dinner, I shared with Ajay the stress and aggravation of managing my growing business and trying to satisfy demanding clients. Ajay listened quietly to my woes and then he told me an intriguing story about how his life had been transformed by a philosophy that he learned a few years earlier in India from a boyhood friend, Dr. Kavi Chavan. Ajay called it The Course of 10,000 Days, or simply, The Course. Ajay said The Course changed his life by helping him control his ego, reconnect with his Inner Spirit, discover his higher purpose, and achieve many of his life goals and dreams.

Towards the end of our dinner conversation, Ajay offered to teach me The Course of 10,000 Days. Ajay knew me well enough to know that I was at a critical point in my life. My Inner Spirit was trying to surface -- like that single blade of grass seeking sunlight -- and I could either respond to its call or allow my ego to hold me captive indefinitely. I also realized this, so I accepted Ajay’s offer.

Over the next three months, I studied and completed The Course of 10,000 Days. What I learned from Ajay and others on my journey is shared with you in these pages. The goal of The Course is to help you discover and live your higher purpose. Everything you will read and learn flows from this goal.

The Course consists of four phases:

Acceptance of Self. During this phase, you will examine your life by answering The Three Sacred Questions. Through this introspective process you will decide what you want to achieve during the next ten thousand days (27 years) of your life. Allow yourself to dream big. There are no limits.
Acceptance of Others. In this phase, you will review The Three Sacred Questions and cross over the Bridge of Forgiveness by forgiving those who have offended you and seeking forgiveness from those you have offended.
Acceptance of the Divine. This phase prepares you to enter The Kingdom of Roses by overturning the Four Stones that prevent your access to this spiritual state of grace where the inherent powers of the Divine Source and your higher purpose are revealed to you.
Embracing the Gift of Love. It is during this final phase that you celebrate your higher purpose by embracing your infinite powers and living the greatest of those powers, the gift of love, through your words and deeds. This is how you will discover grace, peace, and true happiness in your life.

I wrote this book to help those of us who are entering our Legacy Years (which I define in Chapter Two) and yearn for meaningful answers to life’s most difficult questions including what is my higher purpose in life and how do I live a life worth remembering? But, as I’ve conducted weekend retreats on The Course and counseled thousands of people who are seeking answers to the same questions I asked myself five years ago, I realize that these turning points in a person’s life are not defined by age, but rather, by timing. Whenever our Inner Spirit senses we will be receptive to its overtures, it surfaces and invites us to respond to its call. Sometimes, the invitation from our Inner Spirit comes to us in the disguise of stress, doubt, uncertainty, and fear. The reason for the disguise is to get our attention. Very few people hear the call of their Inner Spirit when things are going well and their ego is in control!

I also learned from The Course that many people falsely believe there is something wrong with them -- emotionally or spiritually -- because they have no spiritual relationship or feel their life is on the wrong track. I can tell you that -- with very few exceptions -- these are simply hurdles and challenges that every adult faces. The Course teaches us that there is a major difference between having something mentally or emotionally wrong with you and having a void in your life. The Course also teaches that the sooner you can satisfactorily answer those haunting questions that your Inner Spirit continues to ask of you, the sooner you will find purpose, peace, and passion in your life.

I have also written this book for those who are awakening from a period of spiritual deprivation and want to re-connect with their Inner Spirit in order to find purpose, peace, and passion in life. Perhaps, you are like me and yearn to make the journey to that special place that lies deep within you where life is more satisfying and rewarding. I can tell you -- having made the journey -- that it is a place everyone can reach. But, I must also tell you that it requires a personal commitment to become the person you dream about as well as deep introspection on your part to get there.

The Course of 10,000 Days is based on a simple life-balance philosophy that allows both your ego and Inner Spirit to work together in harmony to fulfill your dreams and live your higher purpose. While The Course is not aligned with any particular religion or philosophy, it compliments the life lessons we have learned from the greatest teachers and philosophers throughout the ages.

Ajay told me that on my journey of 10,000 Days I will repeatedly meet myself; and, every encounter will afford me a new opportunity for self-examination, truth, awareness, forgiveness, acceptance, growth, and inner peace. Each encounter will bring me closer to my ultimate destination, a spiritual place that The Course refers to as The Kingdom of Roses. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will discover your higher purpose and the secret to a life worth living. It is in The Kingdom of Roses that you will find that level of internal peace you have sought all these years. Having said this, The Course will test you intellectually and spiritually because it demands that you balance the four aspects of your total self -- Being, Thinking, Feeling, and Doing -- before you can enter The Kingdom of Roses. This is why The Course requires a serious commitment on your part to complete it.

As you embark on The Course of 10,000 Days, you will be asked to examine your life very carefully and truthfully. I can tell you that each question, exercise, and phase of The Course has been carefully developed and refined over many years. If you have doubts, as I did, I can only counsel you not to judge yourself or The Course prematurely. Instead, remind yourself this phase of your life is a journey of ten thousand days. As Ajay Shivani told me, “I spent fifty years allowing my ego to control my life and lead me by the nose. I decided to spend one hundred days mastering The Course to learn how to reconnect with my Inner Spirit so that I could finally give meaning and purpose to the rest of my life.”

It also took me about one hundred days to complete The Course because of my work and travel schedule. For most people, it will take considerably less time given the availability of Course workshops and weekend retreats. For some, the answers will appear more quickly than they did for me. For others, it might take longer. Don’t get frustrated. Be patient. Allow your Inner Spirit to surface and guide you through this rewarding process.

Although I now teach The Course, I am always trying to improve myself and live-up to the commitments I made as a student of The Course. There are times when living The Course demands all my patience -- and then some. I can also tell you that despite my best intentions to be the person I truly want to become, I still fall short. But, I know in my heart I am a better person today than I was yesterday. Also, I am much closer to achieving my life goals because I am living my higher purpose every day and allowing my Inner Spirit to surface more often and guide me to that Universal Truth we all seek -- acceptance of self and existing in a state of peace and love.

While I cannot promise you that The Course will answer all your questions, I can tell you this. You will discover your higher purpose and you will begin the transformation from the person you are now to the person you want to become. How you act on your discoveries and decide to change your life is up to you. For me, The Course opened my heart to new possibilities and pathways. It also taught me how to be more patient, forgiving, loving, understanding with others, and tolerant of people’s views, personalities, behaviors, and emotionally-charged responses.

This transformation did not come easy for me. In fact, my ego fought me every step of the way. But, with Ajay’s help and the guidance and counsel of others who have mastered The Course, I persisted and found the keys that opened the doors to The Kingdom of Roses and gave my life purpose, peace, and passion.

The Course of 10,000 Days also taught me kindness. I am not as harsh or judgmental as I used to be. Now, I am more accepting of people. When someone cuts me off on the freeway, or steps into the airport security line ahead of me, I graciously let them in. I refrain from judging them. I just allow it to happen. When a homeless person approaches me on the street and asks me for some spare change, I give what I can without judging their motive or needs. I also make sure the gardener has a cold bottle of water on a hot summer day. I also leave a few dollars on my pillow for the hotel housekeepers as an extra “thank you” for their service. I did not used to do these things. It wasn’t because I was cheap. It was because I was ego-driven. I was into myself instead of responding from my Inner Spirit. Through The Course I learned a powerful lesson. The ego does not respond with acts of love. The ego only responds to self-gratification and self-preservation. It cannot comprehend love as an act of giving and kindness because such acts are counter to self-gratification and self-preservation which feed the ego. The ego can be infatuated, but it cannot love. Only your Inner Spirit can love.

Let me share with you one experience that helped me understand how my Inner Spirit guided me and transformed me. I was new to The Course. I had been studying it for only three weeks when I checked into a hotel in Memphis on a September afternoon. It was a hot, humid day. I was tired from my trip and ringing with sweat from the humidity and stifling heat that engulfed the Mississippi region that summer.

As I walked down the hotel corridor towards my guest room, I had to maneuver my luggage past a housekeeper’s cart that was blocking the hallway. My initial response was one of irritation because I couldn’t get past the housekeeper’s cart without pushing it aside. As I walked by the open guest room, I spotted an older Hispanic woman on her hands and knees scrubbing out the bathtub and cleaning the tile floor. It was her housekeeper cart that was blocking the hallway. We made eye contact and, for some reason, she reminded me of my mother. Suddenly, she looked at me with her kind eyes and smiled. She said to me in her second language, English, “Hello, sir, can I help you?”

I quickly regained my composure and asked her if she would be cleaning my guest room? She got up off her hands and knees and said to me, “Oh, yes sir. Do you have any special requests for me, like extra towels or shampoo?” I was so touched by her personal commitment to service that I reached into my wallet and gave her ten dollars. I said to her, “No, I just want you to know that I appreciate all your hard work.” She smiled and said to me, “Oh, bless you, sir. You are very kind. Thank you, sir,” and returned to the bathroom where she dropped to her knees and continued scrubbing out the bathtub.

I walked a short distance down the corridor and went inside my room. As I closed the door behind me, tears welled up in my eyes because I realized that this woman, who made her living scrubbing bathroom floors and cleaning hotel guest rooms, had a more generous heart than I did. I felt like a jerk even though I never said anything unkind to her. But, my intention was to reprimand her for something as trivial as blocking the corridor with her cart that it made me stop and ask myself, ‘Is this how I treat others?’ It made me realize that I was the lesser person and, in those moments when I allowed my ego to dictate my first response or put my selfish needs ahead of others, I was not living The Course or honoring my commitments to practice what Ajay had taught me. It was at that moment that my Inner Spirit surfaced once again and asked me a series of penetrating questions. I did not have any good answers except to admit that I was flawed, selfish, and unhappy with who I was and how I treated others.

Although I had been studying The Course for only a month, this was the defining moment when I made the conscious decision to change my thoughts, behaviors, actions, and outcomes. From that moment on I resolved to give my very best to each and every person I met. I also resolved to find a positive, kind word to say to people and not talk down to them or criticize them. No longer would I bitch and moan about the terrible trifles of life. As the song goes, I decided to accentuate the positive and see the ninety percent that people get right instead of the ten percent that we botch! Again, this is difficult to do on a consistent basis. But, I’m getting better at it with each passing day.

As a result of my encounter with that housekeeper and my Inner Spirit, I began to take small steps to consciously change my behavior and actions. I started with simple acts of kindness and forgiveness. For example, I stopped honking my car horn at other drivers and started to accept the many situations -- both pleasant and unpleasant -- that life-on-the-highway hurls at me.

As the bumper sticker reads, ‘Stuff Happens!’ Now, I just smile, shake my head, recite my personal mission statement to remain in a positive frame of mind, and I move on. I let go of those minor inconveniences and moments of stupidity by others. Years ago, a friend once asked me when I became angry over an annoying airport parking space dispute, “Is it worth suffering a heart attack over?” The answer is ‘no, it’s not!’ So, now, I try not to sweat the small stuff. Is it hard for me to do? Yes, absolutely! But, if I’m conscious and present in the moment, I can control my reaction and create a different response -- one that is positive and uplifting. I’ve learned to take time to stop and smell the roses in life. Part of this is due to the fact that I now see the roses whereas, before completing The Course, I never saw them! They were a blur as I raced through life. I was so busy trying to get to the future I forgot to live in the now! As I completed The Course I learned the importance of slowing down to enjoy life and experiencing it. The Course calls it living-in-purpose. How appropriate because discovering and living our higher purpose is our ultimate goal in life!

I understand that many people are struggling with serious problems and demons in their life. But, the solutions are the same regardless of your challenges. For me, these changes represented a major mind-shift in becoming the person I wanted to become. Before, whenever I was confronted with an emotionally-charged decision or choice -- to get upset with someone or, instead, manage a smile and say something pleasant -- I allowed my emotions to dictate my first response. Usually, my response was negatively charged and unfriendly as I lashed out at others. That only made matters worse. Now, I consciously choose to follow my Inner Spirit instead of my ego. I use the techniques I learned in The Course to control my temper and emotions. Now, in my thoughts and actions, I consciously try to be more understanding, kind, honest, and fair with people and myself. I want to attract success and happiness into my life. While I am far from perfect, and every day I make mistakes, I am conscious of my higher purpose and strive to live it every moment of every day.

Perhaps, the most significant discovery I made in completing The Course was recognizing the unlimited power of my Inner Spirit. Since I experienced this breakthrough, I have been able to accomplish much more with half the effort. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish when your Inner Spirit is guiding you -- instead of your ego -- and you are living your higher purpose. Doors will open for you and life will be better! Throughout this book, I will share with you the secret for unleashing the powers of your Inner Spirit and achieving your dreams and goals.

Let me digress for a moment to discuss the inherent conflicts between our ego and Inner Spirit. Through The Course, I discovered how my ego had quietly seized control of my life and the decisions I made. It was recognizable in small ways. For example, I found myself arguing and needing to be right which made other people wrong. I was judgmental and held onto grudges for a long time. I assessed blame and I resented certain people who had wronged me. While I was not hostile, I was short-tempered and insensitive to others’ feelings. Many times I acted without love in my heart.

In the process of surrendering my mind and emotions to my ego, I continued to unknowingly suppress my Inner Spirit. As I became aware of this fact I was able to change my thoughts, control my emotions, and alter the outcome of certain situations. I was elevated to a higher consciousness and this process helped me discover how to create a balance between my ego and Inner Spirit. It also helped me build lasting relationships, experience love, find peace, and create happiness in life. These are the things that truly matter in life. Just about everything else is simply the ‘stuff of life’ and inconsequential as I learned from The Course.

Finally, I have learned that while we are all teachers, we are also all students. The Course of 10,000 Days will require you to spend time learning about yourself and reflecting on the life you want to live. It will ask you to open your mind and heart to exciting, new possibilities. It will seduce you with the simple pleasures of life that you’ve ignored for so many years. And, it will ask you to let go of those things which you have no control over. The Course will also challenge you to eliminate certain people and behaviors from your life that are toxic and keep you from living your higher purpose. This includes the Old You that labels you as the Victim of Circumstances and harbors grudges, anger, and resentment towards yourself and others! It is through this awakening and discovery process, which is the foundation of The Course, you will transform yourself and achieve your greatest dreams and deepest desires. I tell you it is all possible because I have seen its power work, not only for me, but many others. But, it will require you to make some significant changes in how you choose to live your life -- the same challenges that Ajay and I were required to make.

I wish you peace and success on your journey to discovering your higher purpose and reconnecting with your Inner Spirit. I know that The Course of 10,000 Days will answer many of life’s most challenging and difficult questions for you as it did for me. But, most importantly, The Course will help you create the life you want to live and strengthen your relationships, bring you closer to achieving your goals and dreams, and enrich you in many ways.

I invite you to begin your journey now and discover the secret to purpose, peace and passion in your life. Through The Course, you will finally realize what an extraordinary person you are and how to live your next ten thousand days in harmony and happiness.

For more information on The Course of 10,000 Days please contact: tom@tomhinton.com